Tears & Turkey,,,,Blah  

rm_LostLilSoul 46F
373 posts
11/24/2005 11:48 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Tears & Turkey,,,,Blah

Well I gotta tell you I dont care if this blog comes out sounding like Im feeling sorry for myself or not,, I have had all I can take and if something doesent happen to change something, even one little thing,,well whos to say what could happen. Let see my son was in Clarinda Academy last Christmas and they werent going to let him come home but I fought my ass off, saying how well he'd been doing and how bad he needed to be home for Christmas since I had to bag his Thanksgiving dinner up and take it to him in a cooler and the Christmas before that we spent it in the mental ward where the state had him so drugged up all he did was sit and drool. So finially I got him a home pass. I busted my ass to make sure the tree was packed because I wanted so badly to give him a good christmas and on christmas eve he decided he was going to go on the run and when I tried stopping him, he jumped out his window to a car that was waiting, I ran out the front door with a friend who tried helping me and as my sons friend was trying to drive off he hit me and knocked me to the ground with my chin level with his bumper, he then threw it in reverse hitting my friend and knocking him down, and I didnt see him again for 3 weeks and the only reason I saw him then was because he was in a car accident. So this being his first Thanksgiving home in 3 years I made sure I had a nice big dinner made. Well I didnt ask my mother to lift a finger but I did ask my son to take out the garbage (which I ended up doing) and asked him to help me with the potatoes. Well he must not of wanted to because all of a sudden Im just a lazy bitch and since I dont appreciate nothing he does I can just do it myself. Well Im standing there, just putting the greenbean cassaroll in the oven and taking the turkey out, setting the tabble ,, cutting patatoes, loading all this food I just made on the table when he says Im not waiting anymore and grabs a bowl and the cereal and starts eating. Telling me the whole time basically what a piece of shit I am and how worthless I am,, Trying to fight with me all threw dinner but really letting lose on me when I asked him to clear off the dinner table. My moms just sitting there not saying a word, not sticking up for me ,,not telling him to stop being disrespectful,. Yesterday I found out shes been trying to get the charges she filed on him for stealing her ATM card dropped down to juvenile court so he wont risk going to jail if he misses his court dates when he gets them. So when I asked her the county attorneys number she got all pissed off and hung up and refused to give me the name and number. I DONT FUCKING GET IT!! I dont want to lose the love I have for my son but how else can I make it stop hurting? I wish I could take away all the bad that has happened but I cant. I wish he would understand it wasent my fault and I did everything in my power to stop all the bad. I know I dont deserve this and Im tired of this situation. I dont know when Im gonna write next,, probley not until something gives one way or the other,,Im tired of always writting about depressing shit that never seems to stop. Maybe I'll win the lotto and just disappear and my next blog will be wrote on the beach with me drinking a fruity drink with an umbrella with a nice peaceful breeze blowing threw my hair,,, HA
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, with good food and warms spirits with friends and family the way it should be.
As for me, it 1: 39 pm and Im going to bed and pray I wake up and find this has all been a stupid nightmare

peace out

pussylicker6712 45M

11/24/2005 7:04 pm

Sorry to hear about youre day. It really sounds like you try youre damndest to make everything good. Nobody deserves what you and youre family have gone through. But things maybe bad now but they have to get better for you. This I know because my brother was exactly like youre son just a complete {ASSHOLE} nobdy every knew if youre were gonna wake up dead or not. Believe it or not he actually turned out ok. This is of course 10 years later and he still can be an {ASSHOLE) just not as bad anylonger. It can get better just hang in there and don't give up. PEACE OUT

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