My no win situation  

rm_LostLilSoul 46F
373 posts
11/16/2005 12:59 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

My no win situation

Ok,,I guess since today was really kind of mellow and not really worth writting about I will fill you in on my current situation that is making me miserable. I moved back in with my mom after she suffered a stroke and needed 24/7 care. That was around 5 years ago. She has recovered pretty well except that her foot doesent work right all of the time and she sometimes falls.I live in the basement (which is unfinished,,no walls) and my son stays in the room upstairs. Since my father died she has fallen into a depression and stays in her room most of the time on her computer. My son is almost 4 months from being 18 and making life hell for both of us pretty much of the time and theres nothing we can do about it. He has robbed me blind, taking everything that was worth any money. All I have left is my psx2, my computer and my tattoo machine. Everything else is gone. So the next thing he took was my mothers ATM card, stealing 170 dollars out of her account. We both filed charges which didnt amount to helping at all. We cant kick him out because the police will not make him leave due to him being 17. We even tried to involentary commit him to drug treatment but in order to do that its up to us to find him somewhere that has a bed open and are willing to take him and then its only court ordered 3-5 days and then if he ignores the court order nothing will become of it. So we are stuck in 24 hour combat with him. Then theres also the problem with my mom, I try to make him respect her and her house so when I get on him about him having his friends running in and out all night long, she steps in and sticks up for him. but then bitches about it the next day to me. This game is continuous. He is doing meth and all the hate he carried from what he endured while the state had him and his anger towards his dad are all directed at me..He threatens to set me up to the police if I dont do as he wants or threatens to take the 3 things i have left and gets a kick out of bragging to me how much stuff of mine hes taken and how much he gotten out of the things he's taken. The one girlfriend I thought I had, bailed on me when it looked like I had cancer and still isnt talking to me. and my best friend who is male is getting ready to move away. So I think that about sums it all up. Oh yeah, and to top it off, I had a birthday on the 11th of this month and didnt even get laid. This cant last forever but it seems like my smile is fading away more with each passing day. And thinking I still have 4 months to put up with all this unhappiness around me, makes me want to cry. Believe I have my eye open for any little good thing that happens and I will make note of it! I need a good night out or some strong arms around me,,,mmmmm ,,, now that would feel good about now.. just to be held for awhile. It really affects every aspect of your life when someone you love with all you have spends all day telling you what a piece of shit you are. But it cant go on forever so maybe when I get up something good will happen. Hugz to all and to PHYLIS FRANKLIN thanks for wrecking my sons life and my family and I hope you rot in hell for every family youve done this too..

fredbeit 62M
3 posts
11/16/2005 3:04 am

Dear Lostlilsoul.
Been there done that,and I really understand. We just went through the same thing you are going through now,We had all the things done to us just like you have with everything being stolen and even my mum's atm, and visa. But the worse is my wife and i lost ourselves
speaking of getting laid it's been about 1 year thank christ someone invented masterbation.

Good luck it will get better when he's gone,if he is on meth you should think of moving and make sure he doesn't know where you went


11/16/2005 4:08 am

Did your boy ever have any boundaries that he saw as real and permanent? I've never had kids and probably won't so I can't say I have much experience at all in dealing with a situation like this.

But the most hard to handle kids I've had to deal with (for quite short bursts of time only) were definitely the kids whos father had split and had been raised by a mother who had often been too drained and exhausted from having to wear all the hats in the family to have much energy left to enforce anything but a flimsy set of easily bendable rules and boundaries.

I'm sure me stating that doesn't really help you much but your situation sounds like it might be within that general ballpark.

And him being at that age he is now whereby simple default he's just going to do things his way no matter what doesn't make the odds of him improving his behavior very good at all. Then throw the meth factor in as a wild card and eeesh! I feel for ya sister! It's probably going to be a long four months and I dearly wish I could suggest something that would help.

So what I'll do is I'll simply peroidically be sending warm, helpful loving vibes to all involved and hopefully it might have some small uplifting and positive effect.

(it's actually a form of "prayer" in old school terms but I'd personally never call it that for myself)



pussylicker6712 45M

11/16/2005 8:47 pm

I must say you are one strong WOMAN to have to endure all of the shit you are going through right now. Not only you are going through all the shit it sounds like you are trying to still keep a good outlook on life also. As far as the getting laid part trust me I can relate it has been so long for me also I feel like I am a born again virgin and it sucks like hell. Personally in 4 mos. you should think about moving near or around Cedar Rapids. HINT HINT

Have a good one

cozy1957 59M

11/17/2005 9:34 pm

I have no idea how to deal with loved ones who make your life hell, no advice or magic thought that will make it better.

You are strong enough to endure so you will.

Hang in there. I have a feeling it will be worth it at some time in the future.

If you need more batteries let me know....

rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
11/23/2005 2:02 am

I'll go with what Cozy said Lil

Best wishes for you


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