Love sucks,,,, Oh wait its just the guys I pick  

rm_LostLilSoul 46F
373 posts
4/22/2005 3:21 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Love sucks,,,, Oh wait its just the guys I pick

Well,,seems I did it again,, This makes what?...4 or 5 almost in a row that has turned psycho on me,,,what the hell am I doing wrong? What am I doing to these guys that makes them freak out? I mean I completely believe in being faithful,, I dont go out to the bars,,,I dont hang out with many people so why after a couple of months do they start getting all possisive and controlling to the point that they start questioning everything I say and everything I do? Then its gets to where I cant curl my hair or put make-on if Im going to go somewhere or I have to meeting someone behind their back,,,its crazy,,, after that comes,,,being hit...or threatened,,,or made to think I'm going to be hit,, and then when the break-up finially happens,,,its stalking time. I wish I could figure out why this happens to me. What about me makes this happen..I mean Ive had my nose broke from being head-butted,,Ive had 9 stitches to my eye from being punched,, and the list goes on and on..These guys all seem normal when we start dating but then it starts.. I dont get it..I guess the reason Im writting about this today is because my last boyfriend starting messaging me last night on the computer, telling me how my house was surrounded and he was going to kick my door in and my hell is just now starting,,,blah blah blah,,,,and he's saying this at the same time he's saying he found someone else,,,well go spend your energy on her and leave me the hell alone,,,grow up,,,I guess Im just venting,,,His threats have been going on for months..but what scares me is everyone I date seems to follow this pattern,,I just want to figure out if its me or what...if its something I do to make this start happening, then I want to change it fast,,lol,, ok,,I feel better,,,tomorrow I'll write about something else

ExcitedSenses 38M

4/22/2005 4:42 pm

Wow. I wish a girl like you would pick a guy like me I'd take good care of you and give you the room you need, as long as I was satisfied, which of course you would have no problem with because I bet you'd feel the same way. Very sexy pic, too bad u cant find someone who appreciates you. Take your time. Make them work hard to be with you. Even if you are really horny, don't give it up until they use some manners first. Never expect that a guy will change just for you. Find one who's already good.

sandhazard 54M
129 posts
4/22/2005 4:43 pm

It's horrible the abuse you have gone through. Even if you are acting in a way that would be frustrating to another there is NO excuse for any type of abuse, physical or mental.

This is strictly my humble opinion and should be considered just that. It sounds like you tend to pick the dominant bad boy type based on what you have written in your profile under "ideal person".

Again, my opinion that personality type tends to think that normal social rules don't apply to them. Mix in a little immaturity and violent tendencies and you have the potential for abusive relationships. I am not saying all dominant men are abusive. I feel that I have a pretty dominant personality but I also respect the person that I am with and have good self esteem. This makes me feel secure enough that if the woman that I am with feels she wants to flirt or be playful with some other person then it really makes no difference to me. If she does all this and lies to me about it then the relationship is ended and I am mature and secure enough in myself to move on.

Be more careful about the person you choose to be with. Make sure that you communicate your feelings, boundaries and desires clearly. Finally, don't be affraid to seek the advice of a Psychiatrist. It does not mean you are crazy or anything, it can be very helpful to get a unbiased, professional opinion on how you select potential mates. You may be a pattern dater and you may not be looking at a broad enough spectrum of male personality types (strictly my opinion and not a diagnosis). A good psychiatrist can help you see patterns in your behavior that you do not see yourself.

Sometimes it is hard to see signs of bad behavior when we are taken over with Lust, Passion and/or Love. If you have gone through this 4 or 5 times as you have stated then clearly there is a pattern of selection that you are doing that puts you in the company of some very immature males. By looking for Males with different character traits you may break the pattern you find yourself in (This is purely an opinion).

I truely hope you have better luck with your future choices.

rm_nordic68 48M
36 posts
4/22/2005 5:17 pm

I agree with the prior commentor. Guys who have no confidence that get lucky to have you will always think that if THEY were lucky enough to get you, then who else could? And wouldn't everyone want to? AND, since they got you, couldn't someone else? So even though the last guy has a new woman, he wants to feel (in his head) that he's better off. so he calls you to threaten you, but I'm guessing all his threats are BS; he just needs to justify his existence in his own mind. I call guys like that Losers, but they may to you be Everyone. NEVER tolerate physical violence; the first time it's not your fault, but after that it is. Message me or my blog if you want to discuss more, I'm here to help. Beautiful women should never be abused. Actually, all women should never be abused.

rm_xeeking_you 69M

4/22/2005 5:24 pm

I cannot imagine how a guy could do or say anything threatening to you. For example, I just want to tell you that I think you are gorgeous, and I want to tell you this every five minutes for the rest of your life. ... I'm married, so you are probably not interested in me, and I live in Denver, so you are probably not interested in that, either. Nevertheless, you look like a China Doll to me, someone to be treated well, like the precious thing you are. That's not to say I don't want to meet you and pleasure you to the max, then do it again and again, all the while telling you how wonderful and lovely you are, until you begin to believe I am actually sincere. ... Warmest regards, anyway, gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous lady.

upifthewindblows 45M

4/23/2005 6:27 pm

Well, It has nothing to do with you. You can not make them go coo coo as you say... Only they are resonable for that. It is a very LOW MAN. That ever. I said EVER strikes a woman. Any man that does that is not really an man at all. He is a coward, a person to scared to go againt another man. He is very insecure, and has to show his strength and dominance over a smaller weaker woman. Sad, very SAD...I'm sorry I don't have any real answers for you. But I would agree with another that wrote. If this persist you need to contact the police. Get some type of protection. But for sure take care of yourself. Back to another question you asked. I guess were not fourteen any more, jealousy should never lift it's evil head. And neather party should try and change the other. If you change the other to be what you want, than they are not the person you met and liked any more. Except the one your with, with out conditions, life changes from day to day, smile and except what happens. The only person that you can control is... YOURSELF. Just don't give up on your dreams of that night in shining armor.. And remeber you have to go thru a lot of pricks to pick a rose. Just my thoughts. Later.

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