Awakening  

CarpeRobotAloes 67M
3 posts
3/13/2006 8:17 am

Last Read:
3/15/2006 11:20 am

Awakening


I have written several stories about my life. Let me know what you think about them and if you would be interested in me continuing.

I first became aware of girls when I started kindergarten. Before that, I knew there was a difference between boys and girls but I was unaware of it and unconcerned about it. My first question was why did the girls have a different bathroom than boys. There was only one at home and everyone used it. I also noticed that girls wore dresses all the time. My mother wore dresses but my sister, Toni, never wore dresses that I noticed except to church and boy was that a fight every Sunday. Toni was basically a tom boy. She would rather play soldier and climb trees. There was no way that she would play house and dress dolls.

I enjoyed playing normal boy’s games with boys but I found that I was really attracted to the girls. I didn’t really know why, but something about them really struck my fancy. One girl really stood out from the rest. That was Kathy. Kathy had fair skin and black hair, but what made her stand out were her eyes and smile. Her dark eyes would sparkle in the dark. Kathy’s smile was bright and cheerful. When she saw you, her smile would make you feel that you have just made her the happiest person on earth. I don’t know why, but Kathy really liked me too.

Everyday I looked forward to going to kindergarten for the sole purpose of seeing Kathy. The things we did in kindergarten were okay, but I had to be with Kathy all the time. We always sat next to each other and at playtime, we would have to play together. The other kids would make fun of us, but I didn’t care. In fact, I was proud of it. We even got into trouble for pretending that we were getting married.

That was when I got my first real kiss that wasn’t a mother and grandmother kiss. It made me weak in the knees and my stomach turned upside down. I had to keep swallowing to keep my heart out of my throat. It was far better than getting your first bike at Christmas. I just knew that I was going to do that a whole lot more.

Everything was going great and Kathy’s birthday was in February. Mama got a real pretty statue of an angle for me to give Kathy. I went to the party and everything was wonderful. Kathy opened all her presents. She really liked all of presents but she just went wild over the statue I gave her. At the end of the party, she took me to her bedroom and gave me a present. It was a glass snow globe with the Lone Ranger in it.

I asked her that since this was her birthday, why was she giving me a present? That’s when my world fell apart. Kathy said that her father had been transferred to another city and she would be moving that same week with her family and would not be coming back to kindergarten.

My heart was broken and there was nothing I could do about it. I cried on the way home and stayed to myself for days. My father said “the boy’s only five years old, how can he have a broken heart?” I may have only been five years old, but my heart was broken and I still have that glass globe to this day. Toni had a hard time understanding this. We always played together and I had lost interest in doing anything with anyone, including Toni. She figured that the best thing to do was let me work it out for myself which she did. The most caring thing she did was talk to me about what was on my mind and give me a lot of hugs when I felt lonely. I didn’t realize how important that was at the time but she was a real comfort to me during that period of my life. I still thank Toni for being so kind to me during that time. It was a real bad time for me.

I never did see Kathy again. I still think about her and wonder what if.

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