It's not a lie if you believe it  

ReranBroodArret 36M
9 posts
6/5/2006 12:55 pm

Last Read:
6/5/2006 9:19 pm

It's not a lie if you believe it

At the resaurant I work at we've got a cook who is a pathological liar. I've known several in my life, but this guy makes them all look small-time. His stories are phenomenal, and while he can be frustrating at times, overall I find him highly entertaining. I'm also extremely jealous of him, because I recently realized that he is in fact not a liar at all. He actually believes every story he tells us, and I'm jealous of the universe he lives in. He'll come in and say to me, "I just bought another jet ski, now I have three of them." He's 35, but still lives at home and gets a ride to work from his pops every day, I don't think he even owns a bicycle. But just because his 3 jet skies don't exist in the physical universe, I could see in his eyes that he really believed the statement, and who am I to say he doesn't get just as much enjoyment out of the jet skies he thinks he owns as does somebody who physically owns 3 jet skies. I was green with envy over that; imagine being able to just manifest things for yourself... You could have anything you ever wanted. The only thing holding this guy back is his imagination. 3 jet skies? You could have anything and that's what you came up with? To be fair, he also races cars, has a hot 19 year-old girlfriend who is somehow in law school, and a Harley. I think in the physical universe he is probably a virgin, but in actuality he gets more ass then I ever will. Every time he jerks off he's having real sex with hundreds of beautiful women. He also has an engineering degree from UB. I asked him if his classes were on east or west campus, apparently they're on west, who knew?

Most of my co-workers don't know how to deal with him though, and many people get in fights with him trying to disprove his stories. They would have told him there is no west campus, and then missed out on some great stories about his classes at UB. They think he's lying, rather than simply accurately reporting how things are in his universe. If he starts telling a story about last week when he went to the Cadillac dealership to look into buying a brand new Caddy, it's wrong to remind him that he doesn't have any money, or in deed a driver's license. That cuts the story off before it gets truly entertaining. That story probably would have ended with him having an orgy with 5 of the hottest girls on the planet, 3 of whom were identical twins. I think we all probably know at least one pathological liar in life, and my recommendation is to egg them on at all cost.

I'd love to hear some sweet lies that anyone else hears from their own full-of-shit friends and co-workers, I'm sure there's hours of entertainment to be had.


Become a member to create a blog