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Vivid Imaginations & Growing Passions
Vivid Imaginations & Growing Passions
VIVID IMAGINATIONS & GROWING PASSIONS
The mind is a powerful thing. It can be such a wonderful way to experience in the safe place of your imagination what you don’t feel ready to risk in the real world. I have an extremely vivid imagination and have experienced there what most she-males could ever experience in thier real world.
Imagination encounters are not quite the same ‒ but it’s where I have felt safe to travel to this point.
I see myself dressed fully and convincingly as a woman; being a gorgeous she-male including pierced ears with beautiful earrings, beautifully shaped eye brows, on a very well done female face. A body including legs that are silky smooth, my own long and curly hair, having had a pedicure and a manicure and the best makeup I can find to make me pourly gorgeaous. Wearing a black party dress and sexy heels that make me feel so much like the woman I really am...
I would also imagine, by way of many scenarios meeting a tall, strong, handsome, nice guy. Then I think about what it would be like to be pursued by this gentleman, asked out on a date and spending an evening over supper or going to a movie, getting to know him.
Then, feeling my heart race as I sensed him starting to entice me with his gorgeous eyes, gentle deep voice and sweet smile; going for a walk holding hands or embracing his arm, or even with his arm around me. Melting in his arms like a sweet young lady being gently kissed for her first time.
After a couple of romantic dates (well maybe just one), eventually giving in to his and my desires, of feeling my heart race as he kisses me passionately and begins to send that signal ‒ of feeling drawn uncontrollably to be with him, to give myself to him, to make love with the man I am falling in love with.
I imagine getting in the car and knowing that we’re going to his place, that I was about to experience my very fist night as a woman with a man. I would feel so weak and be so excited I could hardly talk. After walking into his home, I’d want him to give me a drink or two to calm my nerves and to sit together for while enjoying a fire place, some romantic music and a little more physical touch.
After finally getting so hot we know we can no longer stop, I want him to him carry me into his bedroom and laying me on his bed, to come on top of me with his very masculine body and caressing me gently, eventually spreading my legs apart just a little to signal his intentions. Of spreading my legs apart ‒ very wide and allowing him to come over me and to bring his erect penis up against my pulsating pleasure hole. To turn me into a woman by taking my virginity and ‘making anal-love’ to me. I often used a dildo to help me enter into my fantasy. Sometimes it was a smaller instrument ‒ half an inch wide and four of five inched long - something that would help me imagine being fingered by my lover ‒ a gorgeous, muscular man with a finger or two playing with my male vagina and making me crazy while kissing me passionately.
Other times I’d use a larger cylinder/object, more like an inch and a half wide and six or seven inches long ‒ a perfect imitation of a perfect hard penis, penetrating me and making me groan and move my hips up and down and back and forth like a girl making love and enjoying every thrust of her lover within her. I have my own sweet spot that makes me crazy ‒ when I feel the dildo/instrument touching and pushing against that spot I want to scream and when I am alone in the house ‒ I do just that. I whimper, groan and sometimes scream like a woman and I can do that for an hour or more ‒ it’s so amazing, an indescribably joy and pleasure that nothing else compares with.
All the while, I end up imagining a man on top of me, my legs spread very wide, my hips turned up and my legs wrapped around his torso as he thrusts in and out, as deep as his huge penis allows ‒ just when he is about to climax, he stops to look at me, to smile, to prolong the pleasure and to kiss my lips. I can feel the incredible joy of being caressed and kissed by a lust driven man to feel his lips pressed against mine to taste his tongue and to let him taste mine; to kiss him so deeply and passionately that we can hardly pull ourselves apart. While kissing him, I have my hands all over his body, caressing his muscular chest, his powerful arms holding me, his six pack stomach and his amazing quads and tight ass. I want to feel every square inch of his body and let him touch every square inch of mine.
When he finally pulls away from my lips, it’s only to allow him to finish turning me into a woman, he penetrates as deeply and as powerfully as he can ‒ all of him in and out, having wild and incredibly intense sex with me, his woman, his lover. I imagine that final moment of pleasure, where he suddenly begins to shudder, to groan with pleasure, to intensify with so much power that I can feel his entire being, one with me and ready to release his jets of warm semen as they squirt deep into my body. I so much want to make love with a man and actually think about it almost every day ‒ but never have even come close, except in the recesses of my very vivid imagination.
There are times where I imagine the guy I meet being way bigger than average, with an enormous penis, a huge muscular body, a guy at least 240 pounds of muscle on a frame at least 6 foot 8 inches tall to make me feel small even when I wear my four inch heels.
When I unzip his pants and unleash this monster of a penis that would freak out and still mysteriously excite any real woman. My hands would find their way into his pants to feel his hardening penis and to push deeper into his pants, to play with his testicles and to wrap my fingers around his shaft and feel it get hard like a rock in my hands. I imagine falling down on my knees in front of him, and kissing that penis to help it and watch it grow to its full potential, long, wide, very hard and so very beautiful.
I’d undo his pants and pull them down along with his boxers and while that was happening I’d start to lick that huge hard penis and finally to put it into my mouth; first just a little, sucking and licking his knob; and then to have his penis penetrate deeper and deeper into my mouth. . The sweet taste of his penis juices makes my heart race. It’s way too big to get in beyond half way but what an amazing mouthful. I imagine being such a great cock sucker that he decides he can’t stop. I don’t want to stop. He holds my head and begins to push it back and forth so as to thrust his penis in and out of my mouth back.
Thankfully it never quite gets out; I want it in my mouth - period. Sometimes he pushes me so deep I almost throw up ‒ but after getting used to it I start to love the deep throat experience. I can feel him intensify and groan and realize that I am actually having sex with a man; I’m sucking a man’s penis and loving it. In fact I start to really work him harder and suck harder and wrap my one hand around to hold his ass and even touch his anis. Actually I can sense that he likes my finger there, so I push my middle finger into him and he starts to groan like a crazy person. Wow, he likes that…
The other hand is wrapped hard on his shaft and I’m sucking and licking for all I’m worth. I suddenly realize he’s about to climax and I make up my mind. I’m taking it all in. I keep on sucking and then I feel his hands hold my head tighter and push me down as he pushes up. I’m waiting for that surge of cum be released and I am not disappointed. It comes in three huge bursts into my mouth and then what seems like a dozen smaller ones. At first the saltiness of the semen repulses my senses but as he releases his jets and I start to swallow I start to have an urge to take in every drop of his cum, to drink him dry and then to clean him and get him ready for bed.
Of course, he is so completely satisfied and grateful. He picks me up from the floor and then begins to kiss me and finally picks me up and carries me into his bedroom. After changing into a nightgown, I crawl in bed with this incredible hunk of a man and cuddle up next to him and feel his arms warp around me and hold me against his enormous body. I feel like a small woman next to him and am so thrilled to have his cum inside of me. I’m already thinking about what will come next. Every time I think about that huge penis I imagine what how incredible it will be to have sex with him, to really make love to him, to become one flesh with a man’s man.
To help me imagine and feel what it may be like to be with a real live man - I use a penis shaped dildo with a skin cover that feels like the real things. It’s actually very big, but I just love having it inside of me after sucking on it for 5, 10 or more minutes. I’ll pull my dildo out and then push in again, each time thinking about how great it would be if it were for real. To really have a man ‘doing it to me’ teasing me, trying a dozen positions and finally doing it face to face. When he finally climaxes, he gives me one final incredibly tender and meaningful kiss.
To keep me turned on after my own climax (hand job thing) I like to keep the big dildo in for a long time, to stretch me and to give me a feeling afterwards of fluids coming out, of needing to use a pad to keep my panties from being stained. I really am such a girl.
I was careful to hide my fantasy but I guess I was also secretly hoping to be exposed. That’s the only way I can explain being so stupid, to keep on taking risks and then finally being caught by my wife knowing that once more would mean the end of our marriage.
She found one of my dresses and found some of my jewelry which was undeniably mine. The earrings were clip-ons and the dress was - well my size and very sexy to the extent that no one else we know would be wearing it. We agreed to end it and to make it quick and to not make it more painful than it had to be. She thought it was just a weird and unacceptable habit of cross dressing but it really was so much more. It was about being externally what and who I am sure I am internally. I really now believe that I am wired to be a woman. My cognitive tests say the same thing ‒ transsexual.
We agreed that she would not tell everyone about my cross dressing and I agreed I’d let her go. It was the best I could have hoped for after all the pain I caused. But my drive to experience being a woman seems insatiable ‒ I needed to give it a real opportunity to express itself …
The real excitement was about to begin.
8/16/2006 6:33 pm
I would love to be part of your experince if given the chance. Take care and keep preparing for that wonderful time.|