I NEED HELP!?  

rm_Ladyt53 63F
353 posts
3/6/2006 4:56 pm

Last Read:
3/11/2006 5:01 am

I NEED HELP!?


A couple of months ago I was contacted by another member with regards to a meet and greet, in responding to my profile he attached a copy of his own. After reading his profile my thoughts were his message wasn’t very well written for a person with the level of education that he would need to possess, for the position that he claim he was in.

However, I put that aside because I’ve met many people over the years that couldn’t spell. His other messages were always too brief to determine anything other then the fact that he wasn’t a good speller. Now weeks of communicating back and forth had transpired and he was becoming increasing persistent on this meet, so I finally gave him a phone number where I could be reached and planned to meet with him. He called and as I suspected his verbal conversation was as equally unintelligent as his written communication, but being the good sport that I am I broke down and agreed to meet with him.

After two failed attempts of meeting this person, this weekend I finally had the opportunity of meeting him in person. People this was not, repeat not a good idea at all. He arrived at the designated place on time; I was already there so I was able to greet him as soon as he pulled his car onto the lot. I am so grateful for being prompt on that day, because I would have been perfectly humiliated had he gone inside to wait for me.

This of course was the weekend so I was dressed in casual attire and the meeting place was a sports bar so everyone else was dressed accordingly. He emerged from his car in a business suit and necktie and was carrying a very old and very shoddy briefcase which of course he didn’t need since I’m quite sure he wasn’t there to conduct any business.

The suit that he had on was grimy it was so well worn that you could see the stains of where coins had once been in his pockets, and his shirt and tie both had old stains from previous meals; everything that he had on appeared as if he’d slept in them on numerous occasions. The heels on his shoes were worn down on the sides and from the looks of them they had never seen any shoe polish. And on top of all this he smelled so bad that I had to hold my breath and this was outside.

This man has never seen a dentist as an adult, both his teeth and breath told this story. Yet there he stood in all his glory telling me how appreciative he was that I actually looked much better then he imagined. I can’t begin to describe how shocked and repulsed I was at seeing him. I had to bop around to come up with a plausible excuse to get the hell out there and quick before anyone saw us together and made the mistake of thinking that I had any kind of connection with him.

I make every effort not tell lies, but on this past Saturday I told more lies in 5 minutes then I have in my entire life and with good reason. I feel bad that I had to, but there was no way I could have walked into that bar with this person, without holding my head in shame, and at no time would I ever hurt another human being, especially over something shallow.

I could have excused the old clothes and the worn out shoes, I could have excepted his desire to carrying the banged up old briefcase, however, the filth and the body odor is inexcusable and I was not going to be seen in public with him then or ever. So I lied and fled as soon as I could.

I’d like to think that he’s unaware of how offensive he is but I don’t think it’s my place to tell him so, and I need the opinions of others as to how and what I should say to this man whom I barely know. I do know that I won’t be meeting him again under any circumstances but should I tell him and how?

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
3/6/2006 5:31 pm

If you met him here on AdultFriendFinder....then you just did tell him. Can't say that I blame you at all!


rm_guyinokemos 68M
103 posts
3/6/2006 6:18 pm

Hi Ladyt53,
I would think that you have two possible directions here. On the one hand, nobody with any class likes to hurt anothers feelings, but you owe this person nothing so tell him on the phone or through an email exactly how you feel. The truth will set you free. Just be blunt. It sounds like he may have oversold himself a bit anyway. He could not have been serious about holding a position of importance anywhere, dressed as you explained.
On the other side of it, you could just remain silent. Your continued silence will let him know that you are not interested.
I am curious what sort of lies you felt you needed to tell. There must have been a sane way of extricating yourself from this bad situation. A person can always say, "something has come up and I have to leave" with no further explanation offered. You could have had a friend call you at a predetermined moment. There are any number of ways to get out of Dodge, if need be.
It's too bad that you had to put yourself through something like that. I truly feel your pain. How embarrassing.
Alas it does get better though. Hang in there.

Smiles

D


spoldrtn812 51F  
1056 posts
3/7/2006 5:04 pm

You are to be commended. I would do nothing unless he contacts me at that point I would reply with the list of barriers that prevent a meeting from ever taking place.
Or you could get lucky and he could read this!!!!

I've had a similar situation but I don't know if he had BO because when he walked up I hid and slipped out the other way! I am not always as tactful as my parent's would like me to be so I took the easy way out. I figure If they think I stood them up then they won't try to contact me again thinking I am full of Sh#@ that spares me from hurting feelings.

Please, Sign my Guestbook Screw me!


rm_Ladyt53 63F
122 posts
3/10/2006 9:27 pm

D, Thanks for the feedback. It seems that I’ve become a magnetic for the weird, deranged and the stupid, but it is my plan to hang in there as you suggested. I’ll simply change my screening process and thoroughly check all profiles in the future before committing to anymore meet and greets.


rm_Ladyt53 63F
122 posts
3/10/2006 9:34 pm

PJ, I do believe that you may have been correct about Mr. Stinky reading the blogs, perhaps he recognized himself and decided not to bother contacting me again. It will be a full week on tomorrow and I haven’t heard a peek out of him, I also haven’t gotten his smell out of my system yet either… phew!!! It’s truly a shame that a grown ass man has to be told to bath and change his clothing at least once a week…lol


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