Can You Teach Someone to be Sexy?  

rm_Kris422 40F
69 posts
8/9/2005 2:24 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Can You Teach Someone to be Sexy?

I chatted about this last night with someone over know who you are, lol.

Can you teach someone to be sexy, to be sexual and sensual? Or is it something that you just are? Can people who are really sexual force themselves to not be that way?

Obviously, most of the people on here are very sexual people. Some of us have partners who are not so sexual. Can we change what we are to be more compatible with our mates? Or will there always be that conflict? Can we make our mates be more sexual? Or will they only be attempting it to satisfy us?

In our discussion last night, we talked about my lingerie. I love pretty lingerie. I love nice gowns, pjs, panties, bras....Why buy ugly or plain when you can have pretty or sexy?

But could you put pretty sexy lingerie on someone that was not sexual and have the same effect?

I think that we are what we are. We may vary a little as we get older. We may try to suppress what we are. We might try to change our mates. But overall, you are either a sexual person or you are not.

What do you think?

courtland2005 48M

8/15/2005 12:06 pm

I have to disagree with mzhunyhole. I think a person is either sexual or not, and generally, it is not too difficult to tell after spending any amount of time talking to someone. It shows in the way they react to other people they find attractive. I don't know how to truly explain that but it is what I believe. Some women just exude sexuality, some try to hide it and some just don't have it.

Can a person change their sexuality? My wife used to be a sexually charged person. That is one of the things that first attracted me to her, but as the demands of life and work began to build, she lost total interest in sex. She says it does not even occur to her any more. I find that when things are the worst, I tend to look to physical intimacy to relieve stress and a way to bond.

Can we change our spouses? No. I've tried. A therapist has tried and a counselor failed. Sex simply seems to be an inconvenience for her now. If she does attempt to change, which I doubt she will, it would be simply to meet her changing needs, not mine.

Lingerie on a non sexual person would be torture for the spouse of that person and confusing. Here his spouse would be dressed to play a game with no intention of entering the playing field. The spouse is left horny, angry and confused. Overall, not a good idea in my book.

My conclusion to your topic: The only way to hope to survive is to learn to supress who you are and pray it works. But the effort to supress ends us up here, trying to find a kindred spirit among the cyber trash and fake profiles. What I hope to find here is someone to connect with on both a physical and emotional level, someone who can provide for me some of the things you mentioned in another of your blogs. Someone to notice who I am and what I want. (sigh) I will quit rambling now. Keep the blogs coming. It is nice to believe that someone else may be in the same boat.

By the way, your pictures are great. Sexy without being grossly graphic like so many of the ones on this site are.

rm_Kris422 40F
5 posts
8/23/2005 6:26 pm

Nice response courtland. And I'm glad you enjoy my photos and blog.


dadrulestoo 50M
6 posts
10/27/2005 7:18 am

my wife and i have the same problem. our solution? she lets me find sexual fulfillment elsewhere. sometimes she watches, sometimes she joins, sometimes shes not even around. call me and ill help you find the sexual satisfaction you need.

Become a member to create a blog