My Cocoon...  

rm_Kissmystuff 61F
2665 posts
2/14/2006 8:01 pm

Last Read:
10/6/2010 12:26 am

My Cocoon...

Sirens in the night...
red flashing lights...
life goes on outside my window.
The years echo through my mind...
so many memories...
a source of both...
pain and pleasure.

Out on the street...a dog's bark
takes me back to girlhood.
The black cocker spaniel
jumping for the stick I hold.
The sun...warm upon my
brown...5 year old's skin.
Pink flowers..large and brilliant...
nestled on bushes that hug
the stucco walled duplex.

I'd play for hours...making mud pies
and holding court with my dolls.
I danced with the elves
in the flower garden and
chased brightly colored butterflies.
I'd pull the covers over my head at night
to keep the closet monsters at bay.

School days...reading...
a whole new world.
Outer space...distant stars
the music of the spheres.
ESP...futuristic times...
I devoured books of sci-fi.
To my mind...so many possibilities...
why couldn't it all be?

The phone rings...the present intrudes.
"No...there's no Linda here".
Linda...my friend in 7th grade.
We spent days at the movies...
we should have been in school.
Lectured by the priest...
I watched the mole on his face...
his indignation of no concern.
I had already decided in my young life...
this hypocrisy was not for me.

Married...at 18...my first born at 19.
Her tiny fist waving...angrily...
indignant at being ousted
from her safe...warm place.
I look at the image of this squalling babe
lifted from the pile of photos...letters...
keepsakes...now spread across my bed.
The smiles come from deep within
as I recall her growing years.
My second daughter...just as precious
a year later...almost to the day.

Bleeding...pain racked...disappointment
as my son is lost to me.
It took me months to understand
why his birth was not to be.

My husband...me...both so young...
but I have grown to learn...
that living life will always separate
the strong ones...from the meek.
It's sometimes hard to hold dear a man...
when you feel he's let you down.
But he's the father of my littles ones...
they need to know his love.
And I do charish him...as a friend
who understands his faults.

At every age...my children...
a source of joy and wonder.
I watched them grown
from tiny beings...
to beautiful young women.
Now married...both...
with daughters of their own...
a deep...sweet...joy for me.

A source of pain and pleasure...
my memories abound.
My fingers shuffle through the letters...
from family...friends...and lovers.
They hold the sum of many years...
memories built... day by day...deed by deed.

I'v earned my way
to this stage of womanhood.
It's a time of wisdom and reward.
I hold each stage within me...
maiden...mother...crone.
Crone is all encompassing...
the most powerful of all.
I choose to enjoy my solitude
and decide when to let others in.
Is it selfish to want to spend...
my energy for self?

I feel the next chapter...
already...beginning to unfold.
The hungry minds...reaching out...
demanding of my time.
So much of my before...
spent...always caring...nurturing
responsible for others.
Life's battles...tempers one
and forces you to grow.

My cocoon now cradles and
nurtures me...while I heal
and gather strength.
I must emerge...the butterfly
prepared to meet anew...
a new world...a new time...
the challenge of THIS day.

© copyright 5/05 jfc


Kiss


rm_Kissmystuff 61F
1435 posts
2/15/2006 9:32 am

Thanks honni

Your visits and comments...always appreciated.

Kiss


redswallow777 48M
6810 posts
2/16/2006 6:52 am

I enjoyed reading this Kiss....sharing some of your history...your ups and downs....very evocative.


rm_Kissmystuff 61F
1435 posts
2/16/2006 8:00 am

Thanks red...

Thanks for coming again...and leaving your words.
I enjoy your blog as well.

Kiss


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