Answering Machine at a Mental Hospital...  

rm_Kissmystuff 61F
2665 posts
2/19/2006 3:52 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Answering Machine at a Mental Hospital...

(Hope you haven't already heard this one)

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline......"

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred To the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the Beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory
loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you."


timberwolf6972 44M

2/19/2006 4:54 pm

ROFLMAO, Very funny!!! {=}

rm_Kissmystuff 61F
1435 posts
2/19/2006 9:27 pm


Glad you enjoyed the post...thanks for coming.


interested13563 53M
2557 posts
2/20/2006 7:52 am

And if you are a blonde, do none of the above,
you will mess it up anyway! (just kidding...)
I had a laugh. Thanks.

rm_luvpiano2 56M
367 posts
2/20/2006 9:52 am

Umm, now let me see which number to press? 9, uh, 9, uh, 9, no, must be 8. Hmmm. Damn, the line is busy and no one is available to talk to me. Hey, is 69696969696969 really dyslexic? Or is 969696969696 dyslexic? Luv'd the post!

rm_starbowler2 52M

2/20/2006 10:18 am

lol...I love your storys.....where do you come up with this stuff?? If you do move,I hope you keep your blog going....its fun seeing what you have to say.

rm_Kissmystuff 61F
1435 posts
2/20/2006 11:01 am


Thanks for coming by. You're very welcome. I love a good laugh also.
Very healing...isn't it?

Hello again interested...'t knock the blondes.
I used to wear my hair blonde.

Hi lub...

Welcome back. Glad you enjoyed the post.


Good to see you again. I'm glad that you enjoy my blog.
I think a friend sent me this joke.

When and if I won't be for at least a year...possibly longer. I love doing my blog and intent to continue where ever I may be.


rm_Kissmystuff 61F
1435 posts
2/21/2006 4:37 am


Just noticed I mistyped your handle in the previous response...sorry!


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