and I ask myself... HOW MUCH DO YOU COMMIT YOURSELF?  

rm_JuicyJulia2 41F
520 posts
12/10/2005 11:18 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

and I ask myself... HOW MUCH DO YOU COMMIT YOURSELF?

and I ask myself... HOW MUCH DO YOU COMMIT YOURSELF?

If you are supposed to be committed to someone, either proclamations of love or by legal binding contracts (marriage), how much do you commit yourself before you end up sacrificing yourself and end up COMMITTED (in a nutward)? How long is long enough? When is ENOUGH ENOUGH? Where is the fine-line between being someone they can lean-on to being extra baggage for you all together?

I looked up the legal responsibilities required to meet the obligations of the contract of a marriage. The answers are complicated and ultimately proven on a case by case basis in a nasty divorce trial. So, still I am left to wonder, where the line exists and how close or how far am I from it?

I cannot accept marriage vows as anything but a nice gesture. How can you promise to be with someone 'until death do us part", when they made that SAME vow to some other woman in front of everyone they know, only to file for divorce less than a year later? Besides, what is the divorce rate these days??

SO, in lieu of all this nonsense.... I have my own standard of vows I find fair and quite definitely draws clear boundaries on how far down things can get before the intention to UNITE becomes a pair of TWO equally destroyed people....

I think they got it all wrong... the vows are impossible to keep and the whole marriage process is ass backwards. MAYBE people would be more reluctant to marry if it cost several thousands dollars for the marriage application as opposed to the divorce case.

My idea to correct the marriage process would be to charge $10,000 for a marriage application, $25 for a divorce application. Maybe people would think about it all a little more seriously from the get-go and divorces can be less gory and drawn out.

My ideal vows:
I, (state your name), do take you, (state their name), as my legally binding obligation; to love, reasonably honor and cherish; for better, worse or until you become more trouble that you are worth to me; to have and to hold, unless you stalk me, creep me out or fuck one of my friends and the thought of touching makes me cringe; for as long as there are more richer than poor times, forsaking all others for as along as I possibly can stand to, until death, insanity, or irreconcilable difference do us part.



danteszippo 52M
3897 posts
12/11/2005 12:34 am

and charge 35,000 dollars to have a kid. Plus they need parenting lessons.

or maybe just add an idiot charge on most people out there. haha


TeartRouesJocks 46M

12/11/2005 1:06 am

LOL! Where were these wize words 4 years ago? I think you've solved the who fucking thang. Thanks for the laugh.


rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
12/11/2005 3:33 am

hmmm interesting idea, but then only rich people would get married (and wouldn't flinch even for $10 000) -- maybe it should be worked on the basis of income -- e.g. 5 years income or something



[blog freelove999]


AughtMusedSpill 48M

12/11/2005 7:16 am

Instead of charging too much, you should have a year's waiting list to get married...apply for a license this year, and then you must wait a year to actually get the license, *then* you start making your plans...that way you are forcing people to get to know each other and deciding if it's real or just an infatuation.

And if you're going to charge more, make divorces harder...that way people have to try to work it out or really pay too much. Getting married isn't the problem, it's the quickie solution that's the problem...too easy to bail out.

I gave my vows and meant them, but my ex was the one who didn't take them seriously and bailed out. I'll know better next time!


cozy1957 59M

12/11/2005 9:55 am

Sounds reasonable to me, maybe lower the fee a little or offer some specials a couple times a year. The vows are about right for the times...


Kimmers777 106F

12/12/2005 12:33 am

There was a placard on an attorneys desk that read: "Marriage should cost a million dollars, because that's what marriage is worth to you. Divorce should cost a dollar, because that is what the same marriage is worth to you now."


rm_TwiztedCharm 56M
456 posts
12/12/2005 2:09 pm

Remember wedding vows were written by men to control their property and it worked for a very long time. It has only been in the last 50 years that women have gained some equal ground and men still don't care to see them think for or be able to take care of themselves. In the next 50 years as women gain and take more power you may see some of the changes to these contracts you speak of.

When women get total control, all that will be left though is speerm banks and shops where men can be rented out to use as plessure toys. I wonder what this new world will be called............UTOPIA by women..... HELL by men


MillsShipsGayly 51M

12/13/2005 6:05 am

Well I have a slightly different take than Kimmers...

Why is divorce so expensive?
.
.
.
... cause its worth it !!


Plano69 54M

12/13/2005 8:26 pm

Julia for President!!


rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
3656 posts
12/13/2005 9:19 pm

i love it. great idea. kind of goes along with some of the other things i've always thought of as being a little screwy. like why is it that you have to have a license to cut some ones hair, but any tom, dick, or mary can have a kid?

tires


RockPebble 69M
2487 posts
12/19/2005 6:29 pm

It would probably work even better if you made it a one year renewable contract and when the rabbit dies you have to sign another contract of legal and financial respnsibility in order to have the kid.

BTW do you know the difference between involved and committed? In the case of Ham & Eggs the chicken is involved, the pig is committed.
Happy holidays,
XOXO


rm_JuicyJulia2 41F
98 posts
12/21/2005 2:18 am

danteszippo, so true, I forgot about the child requirements which would also include IQ tests, yearly registrations and tags.

chansi27, I wish I could solve the whole thing, it’s a rough system, glad you enjoyed my idea

FreeLove999 ‒ that was something I considered, so maybe we can have income-based MARRIAGE MORTGAGES to give everyone a fair chance

tedzilla99 , wonderful idea, but I doubt ANYONE would actually go ahead with the marriage after being forced to spend one year getting to know each other… Bush would Veto that, he likes us all broke, married and procreating new taxpayers

cozy1957- eventually the courts will have to reconsider the marriage contract, the failure rate is too high to allow the traditional vows to dictate the legal aspect of today’s society

Kimmers777- Willie Nelson told a similar joke on the Dukes Of Hazzard movie…. It went “You know why divorce is so expensive? Because it’s worth it!”

TwiztedCharm- I would call it Koonie’s

Michael_IG65 ‒ I couldn’t’ have said it better myself if I was Uncle Jesse (see above Dukes ref)

Plano 69- Plano for My Intern! You like cigars, don’t ya?

titsandtires- again, excellent point! Perhaps because one barber can put out a lot more bad haircuts than one reckless couple.

RockPebble ‒ excellent explanation… Ouch!~ no commitments for me then! I wouldn’t want to make a pig of myself!


rm_pete961967 49M

12/21/2005 5:06 pm

i love julia's idea, and i like tedzilla's comment...maybe to expand on their idea a little, why don't we have a "learner's permit" similar to a driver's license?? you have to take classes and get used to "driving the car" before you actually get the full the permanent license! thanks for the post julia, and all the other ones...i really enjoy reading what you think!! kiss


rm_JuicyJulia2 41F
98 posts
12/22/2005 7:42 am

pete961967, thank you so much for your kind words! It's sounds crazy, but the gov't is getting involved in every other area of our lives, why not this one?


KDR305 46M/46F

1/6/2006 10:16 pm

There's one thing everyone here is missing.

And it's a biggee.

JJ, you started the misperception in your initial post. With your references to the "legal responsibilities ..." and then quickly segueing into the vows.

I'm sure you didn't intend any distraction, but that's what happened.

Folks ... (you too JJ). Marriage is a CIVIL agreement. The vows are completely optional and can be customized to any marriage.

Perhaps one day JJ will find someone who thinks those vows are perfect. Which would be kismet, a very romantic scenario.

More likely though, you'll find someone who makes you want to make the traditional vows, but he'll want to use your original idea.

My personal oppinion is that people need to bite back the urge to sue every time they feel slighted. After all, in mosts states, it's possible to get divorced without ever entering a courtroom.

I understand the thought process behind the high cost of a marriage license. I also see the humor.

I'm with several of the other responders when I repeat the idea that people should need a license (gained after a LOT of testing) to have a kid.

Just today there was a story in the paper about a woman who turned left in front of another car. The other car broadsided her on the passenger side. Her 4 year old was unrestrained in the back of the minivan. He's in critical condition. His infant sibling was in a car seat and escaped without serious injury, as did the mom and the other driver.

Gotta go.... I wanna see what the "All about ASS" post has to say.

Yummy!


ladybug8662 50F
5 posts
2/4/2006 7:40 am

Oh My! You are sooo right..I have copied this over to a g-friend of mine that needs this different insight..I love it, keep on posting Girl! Im reading..


cuddlykittenn 42F

3/28/2009 8:53 pm

wow- I like the way you tell it. your vows are right on the money with the way most people think these days.
i vote that we should switch to your version- it would make life a hell of a lot less complicated.


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