Sit Penis, Sit! Good Dog!  

rm_JuicyJulia2 41F
520 posts
1/7/2006 9:15 am

Last Read:
4/27/2007 7:01 am

Sit Penis, Sit! Good Dog!

Sit! Penis, Sit!! Good Dog....
There are those who are entertaining and those who want to be entertained. Sometimes I entertain myself because I am such a dork at times, and I make myself laugh over shit that other people don't find funny. For instance, we just adopted this dog from the pound. The Pound-Puppy Prick (the local dog warden whom I suspect secretly hates dogs and loves giving them the needle) tenderly named this adorable pooch, #55. So I take #55 for a “test walk” and instantly fall in love with this big-earred, Jack Russell who looks just like Petey from the Little Rascles, and decide that despite my hatred of dog shit, that I would try to be a good "mommy" to this little guy.

On the drive home, we stop by PetsMart to pick up some new puppy essentials, including a dog tag with his name and new address on it. I am a sick-minded girl sometimes, so I instantly veto all the names suggested by the people in my possee at the pet store.. SPARKY? NO!! SPOT? NO!! SPAZZ? SPUDS?? JACKSON?? NO! NO! NO!! Too common and blahzeee for my likings. I have to have something UNIQUE.... and in my quest for unique, I nearly piss myself laughing at my crazy-ass ideas. At first I wanted to name him Sperm the Big Worm, but my favorite idea was -=PENIS=-. Some folks say I got a penis fetish, I love cacti and have phallic symbols all over my house. I collect plastic penis gag gifts. Never met a penis I didn’t love or want to touch. But this was perfect, because naming my dog would force people to have to say the word PENIS.

How funny would it be to hear my grandma call out for PENIS~~!! I never heard her say the word before, in fact, had I not personally met her children, I would have argued that she never had any penis before. The woman is asexual, I swear!

Please picture telling this woman your dog's name is PENIS and IMAGINE WITH ME her mortified reaction to me introducing her to my dog "PENIS". This had me nearly hyperventilating in laughter. My neighbors would hear me holler "PENIS!! COME HERE BOY!! COME TO MOMMA, PENIS!!" and they would think I was calling my boyfriend into the house instead. They would think I was PENIS CRAZED!

Imagine the fun I would have answer a call from
that same Warden if by some chance the dog would run off and be picked up and him having to tell me he has my dog, Penis! Ha, ha, ha… enough, I must stop this insanity.


SpeltSlingFowls 61M

1/7/2006 10:40 am

thats funny,,,, thanks for the laugh


Brainy42 53M

1/7/2006 11:02 am

Never thought I'd say this to anyone, especially a girl but "May I pet your Penis?".
You'll have to post a photo. I'm sure all the folks here would like to see your Penis.
Does your Penis come when you call it?
Does your Penis chase after bitches, or do you have your Penis on a leash?
Is your Penis fixed?
How long is your Penis?
When you're tryng to get housework done, is your Penis often under foot?
When it mis-behaves, do you slap your Penis?
How often do you play with your Penis?
What do you feed your Penis?
Does your Penis chew on rubbers?
Is your Penis easily excited?


cozy1957 59M

1/7/2006 9:19 pm

It might take a while and be painful but you might want to teach your Penis to catch a Frisbee...and I bet he already knows how to lick himself, lucky dog....


elysianpleasure 47M

1/8/2006 12:09 am

LMAO


Plano69 54M

1/8/2006 5:43 pm

That's hilarious... say, what do you feed your penis anyway...LOL!


rm_TwiztedCharm 56M
456 posts
1/8/2006 8:52 pm

TOO FUNNY...... and you can bet I'm going to call him that from now on60


JeersPilarSaver 35F

1/9/2006 5:17 am

hahahaha i really want to meet penis
very nice....


rm_JuicyJulia2 41F
98 posts
1/9/2006 10:34 am

cj68601 thank you for laughing, I hate to be the only one to laugh at myself! But that some funny shit right there, I don’t care who you are!

brainy42 my penis loves to be petted too! And yes he is very easily excited!

cozy1957 ‒he’s a dry-humper too!

elysianpleasure ‒ think I might be cracking up for real?

Plano69 my penis is a meat eater

twiztedcharm remember my old dog Jenna Talls? There’s go to be something wrong with me!~


KDR305 46M/46F

1/12/2006 5:17 pm

Teaching him to stand up and beg will be easy.

But roll-over? You gotta be mighty fine to pull that one off.

What's that you say? He did both the first day? I'm not surprised.

Tell me this:

Who gets the bone?


alphuctup 40M

6/5/2006 9:27 am

Fantastic...I almost want to go out and buy a pet just to give it a mental name.


welust4morefun 50M/46F
65 posts
2/10/2007 12:29 pm

I was turned onto your blogs by a link from mine. You know that section that says "those that like yours also like...". So I checked out yours and I am back quite often to read about your latest SEXcapades! I had trouble trying to figure out which one to place my post because they are all just so much fun to read! But I finally decided on this one (the Dog Named Penis) . As I too have a sick twisted sense of humour and find penis's very fasinating! Thanks for the laughs! You're hillarious! I will continue to check your blogs as I have become somewhat of a groupie!


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