One tequila, two tequila, three tequila ... floor  

rm_JuicyJulia2 41F
520 posts
1/5/2006 8:09 am

Last Read:
4/27/2007 7:03 am

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila ... floor

BLACKOUTS SUCK!! No not the kind involving electricity either- the ones involving too many shots! I don’t routinely drink to those extremes, but on occasion with the right group of rowdy friends and on an empty stomach, they do occur.

So last night I wake up at 3am and realize I am home and how the fuk did I get home and the last thing I remember is pulling up my girlfriend's shirt and flicking her nipples while all the dudes at the bar grabbed for some tits. (she liked it)...and the place went NUTZ. I'm nuts. I can’t believe how damn immature I am still for a woman my age. I woke up this morning and started what I call "the investigations".

I first go through a checklist to make sure I didn’t lose anything... wallet (here), money (spent), credit card (in wallet), cell phone (here but with a dead battery), keys (had to have those to drive home) purse, coat, bra, (here, here, here) panties (none, but that’s right, I didn’t have any when I left), head (lost)

Okay... now I have to rely on other’s to answer some questions... when did I get home? (10pm) where are my pants? (under the bed), how much money did I spend? (11$- thanks guys did I get laid? (not at 10pm but at 3am still feeling drunk and giddy), did I piss anyone off? (only the bartender because of the BOOB scene), where did the full bottle of wine come from? and what the hell was I thinking buying that cheap shit? (wasn’t thinking, my friend bought the wine for me as a peace offering to my lover whom I must have expected to be mad at me), was he mad?(don’t recall but after a hand job and two orgasms he woke up in a great mood).

First thing last... my car… It’s a great place to find clues to piece together what I did and where I did it. Apparently I hit a big pothole as I bent my rim, lost my hubcap and ran over my WINDSHIELD WASHER CONTAINER that was SUPPOSED to be UNDER my car, not my tire... FUK! NEW QUESTION... how the hell does one run over parts of their own car? <====very confused!! No dents, good for me! Sorry god, thanks for letting me make it home... I wont do that EVER again *wink* *wink* *crossing fingers*).... damn I need some water!

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
1/5/2006 8:37 am

I love tequila, but not to the point of oblivion.

rm_bigcoached 53M
2 posts
1/5/2006 8:47 am

where was i that night you would have remebered me when you woke up ,hope to c u around town .i,m from nassau

sillyperv 54M

1/5/2006 9:04 am

Drinking and driving is moronic, bad enough you kill yourself - far worse if you kill someone else - like say a child?

And who are the assholes you hang out with that let you drive home?

Yeah, it's an issue for me!

teronchi30 41M
1 post
1/5/2006 12:48 pm


You are so sharp and creative, you should be writing novels or regulal columns for mega bucks. I "will" be a devoted fan and reader. Clint rocks!

rm_Young102 40M
181 posts
1/5/2006 7:34 pm


You are a classic case of Serbian "madness" . I have a suggestion for you and I'm serious:

1. You sit down and write 10-12 different episodes that happened in your life in a script form in a fashion like La Dolce Vita (1960) by Fellini, My life to Live (1962) by Godard and That obscure object by desire (1977) by Bunuel. I assume you watched the above classic films
and in case you haven't, you must.
2. You contact Emir Kusturica and discuss with him the possibility to make this film. I think he is the most appropriate to undertake such an endeavor because I'm sure he'd like to revisit the above film themes from a different angle of our postmodern times and perhaps from a new cinematic form. Your "case" sounds perfect!
3. You may also wish to play the role of yourself or use a non-professsional actor of your choice in the proposed film following the tradition of some avant-guarde European directors who don't use professional actors.
4. And don't forget: The greatest ideas started in strange places (like this site!), in strange moments facilitated by strange circumstances and fomented by strange people (literally I mean by people who don't know each other).
Sounds this like how things work in life? At least in the sweet juicy life?
5. You stop drinking alcohol once and for all!

danteszippo 52M
3882 posts
1/6/2006 1:21 am

Thats hysterical. Can I buy you a few shots of that stuff?

blueguy1051 60M

1/6/2006 9:39 pm

Support your local bartender - helping ugly people get laid since 1347 B.C.

stockinglvr4u 40M
22 posts
1/7/2006 1:30 am

Been there, done can be perplexing sometimes as to how we get in those situations. At least you had someone to go home to and fuck around with. Most times when I've been in that state I end up alone in my bed. Lucky guy, your lover...

BigSexxxy693 45M
1230 posts
1/7/2006 10:52 am

I have read the comments previous to mine, and I am not surprised by some of them. People tend to be very judgemental about drinking and driving. I felt that you were going for the humor of it all, and it made me laugh. I have been in a similar state, a few times. Not necessarily the driving part but the blackouts, thank god for the friends who remember what you did last

I can't believe though, that I am the first to make this comment....I wish I was at the bar for that wonderful scene that pissed off the bartender!! Sounds like you had a blast, even though it's kinda hazy.
Have a great day!!!

Da Big Fella

rm_TwiztedCharm 56M
456 posts
1/8/2006 8:34 pm

Love the memories or lack of is sometimes BEST.

rm_JuicyJulia2 41F
98 posts
1/9/2006 11:01 am

keithcancook that’s the secret I am hoping to one day learn

bigcoached- Nassau? I will have to dig out the road atlas for that one… north south east west? Help me out here a bit.

sillyperv I agree completely, Shame on me, I do know better! I was the historian in my high school chapter of Students Against Drunk Drivers…. It’s an issue with me too! My friends are assholes!

teronchi30 ‒ I live like a writer, just not paid like one… Thank you for your kind words of encouragement! And you pay very good attention too! Clint appreciates that!

Young102- I have started and abandoned more that one screenplay attempt. God, I love your how your mind works!

danteszippo- only if you’re driving us home this time!

blueguy1051 yippie skippy! I was a bartender for years, and not only did I help ugly people get laid, I laid a few too!

stockinlvr4u2 -it happens to the best of us!

BigSexxxy693 I really don’t condone drinking and driving… but you are correct, it was for the entertainment value.. besides, all of us do stupid shit from time to time, that was my turn.

twiztedcharm- it works both ways… I always say, If you don’t remember it, it don’t count! UNLESS of course a bunch of your nosey friends DO remember it! Than they count it! Assholes!

GermanLove69 49M
23 posts
4/7/2006 7:07 am

thats been a Deja-Vue to me this morning, rotfl ..... but i grabbed a cpl advils first thing before i went through the checklist routine

coffee kicked in by now ... its gonna be a long day at work, though

seeya sweety,

Exceller22 55M
119 posts
5/6/2006 7:52 am

Well Juicy, all I can say is...been there, done that---several times. And how many times do we tell ourselves "never again!" If you ever make it out to SoCal, we gotta meet up for a drink.

Willie3002 39M
1 post
10/25/2006 9:35 pm

That's good shit JJ2, I'm cracking up right now. I'm out of town on a work trip, and being a fellow once a blue moon blackoutter got quite a kick out of your story. Dig "the investigation". I had to make that shamefull walk out to my Jeep last St.Patty's day, to look at my rig to see if I really did remember backing in to someone at the party. Your hilarious, and not so hard to look at, so why don't you send me a post or something.

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