Words, and their effect on society  

rm_JohnMacLaine 50M
454 posts
5/16/2006 8:00 am

Last Read:
6/25/2006 7:24 am

Words, and their effect on society

I want to thank all of you that posted to my last thread, I really like it when people comment on my blog, it means that I am not just posting for myself but that others are reading it as well. I am a work in progress, even at 39 years old, and I will continue to grow and hopefully one day I will be able to fully come out of my shell and be the life of the party. I dont like this part of me, but I have dealt the best I can for most of my life. I don't want any of you to think I am depressed or have deep emotional issues, because I don't. I have had strife and issues throughout my life but I have moved forward and put all of the bad things behind me. I try not to dwell on the past, and instead move forward to try and be a better person both for myself and as a role model for my son.

Now on to other things...

I was perusing the blogs this morning and came upon a post that disturbed me. I do not consider myself racist, nor do I discriminate the people in my life based on their race. 007sexy40plus posted a blog about words and things that people say and do that piss her off. [post 348246] when it began, was simply about her curiosity as to what words or action make her readers angry enough to lash out at someone. the "N" word came up in discussion and the posts that followed set off a debate as to how much hatred in the world there is when it comes to racists and prejudice. I found myself appalled at one of the comments made by a specific blogger. (I will not post her name here because I do no want to darken my blog with her name) She stated that the "N" word is just that a word and that 007 should "let it go". I am a Caucasian, heterosexual male, and based on history, it is stated that we have the most opportunity available to us in the country because for the most part it is a "white male dominated society". For a long time this has been true, but that tide has changed over the years. In my opinion the playing field has been leveling out as our views and opinions have changed, not just towards people of other colors, but to women as well. It is not uncommon to see a woman CEO or President of a company, and it is even more common to see people of races other than white in charge of major corporations.

The comment left by this obviously uneducated, blind, and ignorant person left me feeing shocked, upset, and angry. I did not comment to the post, because I felt it better to address it on my blog, since I am free to post as much and be as long-winded as I need to be in order to address this issue. I have a lot of African-American friends in my life, I love them like brothers and sisters, I have kept relationships with them, meaningful friendships that I treasure to this day. I even dated a black woman once in my past. What I can not understand is although we were taught growing up that words do not hurt, only physical violence hurt, there are certain words that, said in the right context strike to the very core of our hearts and sting just as bad as if we were stabbed with a knife, and people that use these words without any consideration for the hurt they cause use them as if they had no meaning at all. One of the responsibilities I have as a father is to teach my son that all people have feelings, all people have the same rights as he does and that he should be kind to others. In this world full of violence, wars, hatred, and insensitivity we should all grow up and become roll models for our children by treating others with kindness, love, and understanding. For someone to call a person a derogatory word and do so in a way that shows no consideration or respect is in itself as bad as if they went up to them nd shot them in the head.

If we all took the time and looked at each other without bias, without stereotyping, without prejudice, I think this world would become a much better place to live in.

What do you think??


"I can retain neither respect or affection for a government which has been moving from wrong to wrong in order to defend its own immorality" Mahatma Ghandi

rm_bucfannn 61M/60F
2110 posts
5/16/2006 8:42 am

This entire thread has become like the game of telephone. Perpetuation does NOTHING. But letting it continue, it's like throwing gas on a wildfire...

rm_JohnMacLaine replies on 5/16/2006 8:53 am:
Cat, I read your blog on this subject AFTER posting mine. You make valid points, and I will address those in your blog as a reply. I agree on a lot of what you said, but at the same time I feel that some of what was said on that post has merit too.


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
5/16/2006 9:26 am

I have an African American yappin in my ear right now as I type this. He is no more annoying than any of my white/ whatever nationality friends. Okay, maybe a little, but that has to do with his personality, not the color of his skin.

rm_JohnMacLaine replies on 5/16/2006 9:31 am:
I have that too Saint...its called three children....LOL

digdug41 49M

5/16/2006 9:30 am

I give everyone a fair shot I dont go by a persons color but by the mindset that they display in their ways actions and behaviors life is too short to let people get to you and I let that happen yesterday and I feel stupid becasue I gave that person power over me and thats not a good thing to do, as far as what lianna said its me she refers too and her meds haven't kicked in yet so pay her no mind

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

rm_JohnMacLaine replies on 5/16/2006 6:11 pm:
Dug, first let me thank you for visiting, always good to see new visitors here.

You cant help how you feel in a certain situation. Like 007 you probably had to deal with some of the same things growing up as she did. Lif indeed is too short and we need to enjoy it while we are here, not point fingers, cal each other names, and hate one another. I prefer instead to learn from everyone and everything I can, it is how I become a better person.

As for Lianna, well, I just look, read and smile, cause she is so cute....lol

007sexy40plus 51F  
7603 posts
5/16/2006 2:59 pm

I must make this comment then I shall leave it at that. Your blog is your own and you pretty much control it. I, when making that post, never intended to have it go that route. It was a question that came to me while listening to the radio and Oprah was being interviewed. When I said that I don't like to be called the N-word, I did not think that I would get a comment of such. And in reading that I didn't like it, what happened? the commenter made sure that she spelled it out to everyone what I meant, like others didn't already know what I meant by the N-word.

That word is a hard pill for me to swallow. I have struggled through hatred. I married out of my race and dealt with issues from that with people. I have three Mulatto children(in case some readers don't know what that is, it is children born to black and white parents)
I know that my children will still have to face such things as this, and I do not wish them to endure such pain. I teach them right from wrong. And for them I would give my life. I have faced the actions of people throwing me my change to keep from getting close to me. I have sufferend people not wanting to touch my hand because they think the color will come off. I endured those things and I am expected to let it go. It isn't easy ignoring hate. and that is why I can't ignore it.

The commenter knew that from a previous post that I said I didn't like being called a Slut, Whore, or a Bitch and even on that blog post she had something negative to say to me. At that time I asked her not to comment on it again. But it is now obvious that she intended to hurt me with words.

It is over for me but you know I still felt so out of place today because that comment cut me like a knife. I can take being called those other choice words but that one, JUST MAKE ME SICK.

Thanks for allowing me to speak.

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"

rm_JohnMacLaine replies on 5/16/2006 6:01 pm:
007, You are always welcome to share your thoughts on my blog, no matter what it is. I am an equal opportunity blogger and all comments are welcome and received.

I am sorry you have had to go through so much hatred in your life, and it is a shame that society can not seem to get past stereotypes, racism, and prejudice. I wish I could say that I could relate, but I will never know the things you have gone through. I have experienced my own form of prejudice in my lifetime, but mine is minor, as it was due to how my personality is, and how I acted when I was in school, and that is nothing compared to yours. I hope one day you will find peace, and your children can grow up in a culture that does not judge them based on the color of their skin.

much hugs...


rm_5Hawkeye6 60M

5/17/2006 12:50 am

I grew up in a family that has been of mixed race for 150 years. Some of my great-grandparents were born slaves, so I have cousins of black & white ancestry some of whom look black, and some who look white.

Members of my family have experienced ostracism from both races when they revealed our heritage. That's personal prejudice. It's different from racism.

Racism is the deliberate dehumanization of one group by the other, in this case blacks by whites. In our society, it was established and is perpetuated by all of the authoritative institutions of the social order: governmental, legal, religious, educational, and economic.

White people are in control of all of those entities, so they are culpable and are responsible for stopping it. Black men and women don't have the power to stop it.

However, they do have the capability to stop perpetuating stereotypes that further demean themselves and lend credibility to their adversaries.

The 'gangsta' culture is one of the least dignified of those. Sure, it's understandable, and academically explainable as a reactionary behavior, but it's antithetical to the goal of eliminating racism.

White people see it as not only hypocritical in the abuse of women that it encourages, but also in the liberal use of derogatory terminology. To them, it's also exclusionary and even antagonistic to them and causes further mutual alienation.

Seeing how that culture is one of the most prevalent popular sources of misunderstanding, it's necessary to discuss those issues if we are to discuss racist attitudes.

Racist attitudes are a major source of 'fighting words' in our society. If we want to address that topic, we had better be prepared for disagreements. It's insincere to raise that issue and then lose our temper with someone who contributes to the discussion with an opinion that is different from our own.

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