You can never get sick of these...i hope.  

BattyLagerRemix 35M
8 posts
6/6/2005 8:37 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

You can never get sick of these...i hope.

The Red Neck Letter.

Dear Child,

I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.

Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.

They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.

Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.

Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

A man walks into a bar with a bag over his shoulder and sits down. The Bartender say's "Hay buddy, what's in the bag?" The man looks up and reply’s" This is a magic bag, inside it lives a magical genie that can grant any wish and it.." "Your full of it." the Bartender says and he start to walk way. The man pulls out a small stool then a small piano, and lastly a small man walks out and starts to play Mozart’s 5th. The Bartender amazed by this asks the man if he can ask for a wish. The man nods his head and lets the bartender make a wish. "I wish I had a Million BUCKS!" within an instant a million ducks fly out of the bag filling the room. The man collects his bag and little man and starts to walk out. "Hay buddy didn't wish for a million ducks!" The man turns around and with a small grin he say's "You didn't let me finish before, you see the Genie is a little hard of hearing. You really think i wished for a 12 inch Pianist

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