Jocelyn's Story - Part 2  

rm_JocelynRenee 54T
51 posts
8/30/2005 8:44 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Jocelyn's Story - Part 2


OK, time for part 2 of Jocelyn's story...When my wife and I got married she had a young child from a previous marriage and she was 8 months pregnant with our first child (oops!). So, one of our first major decisions as a married couple was to quit our jobs, take nearly every penny we had, and start our own business. We bought equipment, rented office space, and opened our doors with 27 cents in our bank account. We were blessed with good contacts, a little talent, and a lot of luck; the business paid off immediately. We've never gotten filthy rich, but it provides us with freedom which we hold in much higher regard.

So, here we are with a young child and a new baby at home, trying to get a new business off the ground. We would take turns manning the office during the day and I would try to catch up on work at night. It was during this time, that Jocelyn returned after a rather prolonged absence. Actually, it was the perfect situation as I was working alone 4 or 5 nights. I was really too busy to do much more than dress while I worked, but it was a blissful time. Fourteen months after the birth of our daughter, we became the proud parents of another son. Our lives were hectic to say the least. But our lives were happy. I had the freedom to play Mr. Mom and the fortune to have a true life partner. We shared the child care and business duties equally. With all the extra responsibilities, I had to set aside my time as Jocelyn for a few years, but once the children were in school, the desire returned - stronger than ever.

Now that I had the freedom to explore again, I began thinking about venturing outside the safe confines of my office. Thus began my late night drives, walks around town, etc. I met a great many friends online and continued to learn about my "condition". I was starting to resent the guilty feelings that so often cropped up after dressing for an evening. One of my problems was that Jocelyn was still a secret, except to my online friends whom I had never met in person. To this day I don't know if it was a subconscious decision on my part that led to my wife discovering my secret, but I started getting sloppy with hiding my clothing.

To understand her reaction, you need a little background on our personalities. My wife's previous marriage was a bad one; filled with emotional and physical abuse. On top of that, she had 5 siblings and a father who has accomplished more in life than about any 2 people you know. The result was a person who, on the outside, was full of confidence, but on the inside was plagued with self-doubt and a feeling that she was never good enough. I, on the other hand, had only one sibling and was raised by a single mom who absolutely dedicated her every waking moment to my brother and I. Growing up, my self-worth was constantly reinforced and everything I did came easily...school, friends, etc. The result of our different paths was that my wife (unbeknownst to me) never felt she measured up to me. She told me that discovering my dressing made me more human to her. It showed that I had "flaws" just like her. I was stunned by this revelation. The way I felt about myself was quite a bit different and I had struggled my whole life with questions about my sexuality and gender identity. To make a long story short, she was totally accepting, even enthusiastic. If anything having Jocelyn freely in our lives has improved our marriage.

Since that time I have gone through several cycles of not dressing at all/dressing several days a week. I'm not sure why, but this behavior has been a recurring theme in my life since I first put on a pair of panties. Jocelyn is once again a big part of my life and this time I think she may stick around for awhile.

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