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How to Get in My Pants
How to Get in My Pants
Well boys and girls, judging by the mail and chat sessions I've had lately, I guess it's time for my "How to get in Jocelyn's pants" post. I provide this free of charge, as a public service. Unfortunately, the people who need to see this the most, probably won't read it, but hope springs eternal.
The easiest route is to be my wife, 'cause she always has free access. Well, except for that one time last month, but I swear it was just because I had too much to drink honey. Oh, and I was tired and I think I was coming down with a cold.
The next easiest route is to borrow them from me (I won't be in them, of course). I gotta warn ya though, I'm only 5'4", so you're gonna have to be able to squeeze into a size 4 or 5.
The next easiest route is....oh, wait, there is no other easy route - sorry. As time goes by, I'm starting to think that road is going to be permanently closed to the public. The road is simply getting too dangerous to travel, littered as it is with the wreckage of dozens of men who failed to read the signs and went screaming down the road without a map.
What a shame. I started off on this journey with such high expectations. Looking back, I suppose I was bi-curious all my life. About 7 years ago, I was able to lop off the "curious" part and I just figured it would always be a part of my life. But as I've gotten older and matured in my outlook, the desire to be with a man has lessened considerably. Ironically - and sadly - the more I become open to talking to men, the less attractive the idea becomes.
To be fair, I should mention up front that I have, in fact, met a number of men who don't fit the mold of the reckless boy-racer without a map. Unfortunately, they all live 500+ miles away or they're gay. I suppose that when your primary avenue for meeting men goes right through the seedy side of town (yeah, I'm talking about you, Internet), one should expect to meet a frog or two. But, come on - how many frogs does a girl have to kiss to find a prince?!
Night after night I open up Messenger to a flurry of IM windows with pithy sayings like, "Nice a**", "I'd like to @$!!&", or my personal favorite, "Big **** male in VA here." What? I don't even get a, "Hello"?
Lately I've run into another problem as well: the guy who thinks I'm a GG. Foolishly, I assume that men who IM me saying they liked the pictures on my 360 page, have actually, you know, read something on that page - like my profile that clearly states that I am a tgirl. But no, they see a picture and the little head takes over. That's when the hilarity ensues. Invariably, at some point in the conversation, they ask if I'm married. When I reply that I am, do you think their next statement is something like, "Oh, sorry to bother you then." Of course not. They don't care that I'm married, they just want to know where my "husband" is so they don't get busted. I chuckle a bit as I tell them that *I* am the husband, and wait for the terrible truth to sink in.
"What do you mean? Are you a lesbian?"
"No. I am male, but sometimes I like to wear women's clothing."
"So, the pictures are of your wife, right? She's hot!"
"No, the pictures are of me. I am a crosssdresser."
"Wait, what about the one in the..."
"Yep, that's me."
What comes next is generally one of two responses, both hilarious. The next message is either, "I'm not gay. I've gotta go. Bye." or "Wanna cam?" Oh my goodness, these boys are just so cute, aren't they?
Eh, maybe it's me that's weird. I like receiving compliments as much as the next girl, but when the chat turns to what I'm wearing or what they would like to do to me, I start quickly looking for a graceful exit. I'd like to think that I'm not asking for much. I'm just looking for friends that share an interest in TG issues - male, female, TG - it doesn't matter to me, as long as they are interesting and see me as something other than a curious object for their personal pleasure. Oh, and being a good dancer would be a plus!
So, rather than wondering how you can bed me, what you should be doing is wondering how you can become my friend. If you've managed to read this far, here's what you need to do:
1) Read at least some of my blog, so you know something about me.
2) I'm not easily offended, so feel free to ask me question to further your understanding. Two caveats though, please don't ask what I'm wearing and don't expect me to do cyber. Also, I don't do cam and, no, I don't want to see yours.
3) Talk to me like you would talk to someone you were just introduced to by a friend - in other words, be respectful; I'm not a mindless sex doll.
4) If you want to meet me, it has to be Friday or Saturday night and it has to be in public, preferably at Vice Versa in Morgantown.
5) I absolutely, positively will not be involved with anyone cheating on their spouse.
That's pretty much it - pretty simple, huh? To be perfectly honest, sex is probably not going to happen. I have a great relationship with my wife and she takes care of my needs quite well in that department. Who knows, some day I may get a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach and jump your bones. Then again, it's just as likely that the funny feeling is gas and will pass. Although I may not be able to fulfill your sexual fantasy, I am a loyal, attentive friend. I have a wide range of interests and I love to talk and have a good time. So, start thinking with the big head and maybe, just maybe, one day the funny feeling won't be gas.
11/30/2005 6:20 pm
Hi Jocelyn how are you doing! I don't know if you look better in long hair or short but you sure look hot! I have read all of your blogs and they are very interesting. It must be nice to be 5'4" and a size 4 or 5. You have the pick of all the sexy clothes. I like to hear sometime what your fantansies are! As a crossdressing submissive also I sure have a lot of them. Hope to fulfill some of them soon! Keep looking there is someone out there that will really rock your boat. Good luck!!!!!!!|
12/1/2005 9:33 am
Strange as it may seem, I don't believe I've ever posted anything about my fantasies. Guess I'm going to have to rectify that. Being 5'4" is a mixed bag. Of course, it is marvelous as Jocelyn, but not so much as a guy where I spend 98% of my time. Oh well, the 2% is generally more fun anyway! |
12/1/2005 5:57 pm
Hi Jocelyn! I have read all of your blogs and no fantasies yet! Looking forward to reading them. Being 5'4" and a size 4 or 5 and looking as HOT as you do you shouldn't have any problem finding someone to your liking. You definitely have it all together! Wish you LUCK and hope you find the one that will rock your boat.|
12/2/2005 6:57 am
Hi darling, I think I am rapidly becoming your No. 1 fan. Nothing makes my day a little brighter any quicker than reading your latest posts. Kind of feel just amazed sometimes how much we think alike, and what great style you have in conveying your feelings.|
At the risk of repeating myself and boring your other readers I do want to mention again that meeting you on this site definitely ranks as the most pleasant experience I have enjoyed while spending time here.
From the sincere comments you receive here I am certain the quality of some of your admirers more than makes up for a lot of the rude abuse we both receive so often. Some of the men on here are just wonderful and so charming, regardless of how far away they always are, always leaves me feeling like this is all worthwhile.
Take care Jocelyn, lovely doesnt even come to close to describing how wonderful and special I know you really are.
12/3/2005 7:20 am
Oh my goodness...I love you all! I'm not often at a loss for words LOL, but truly I don't have the words to convey how much I appreciate the kind words you all express. And yes, they more than make up for the jerks. Actually, the jerks don't get me down so much as they amuse me, or sadden me, depending on just how silly they are |
Whatever happens in the chat though, rest assured that the feeling of community here is one of the greatest blessings in my life.