Letter to my mom in honor of Mother's Day...  

rm_Iwillwait4u2 52F
1274 posts
5/2/2006 11:54 am

Last Read:
5/13/2006 6:49 am

Letter to my mom in honor of Mother's Day...

Dear Mom...
For this Mother's day, I wish for you to remember all the things, if not, just for one day. You'd remember that you took time out of your busy schedule to take on a brownie troop, of 14 girls. You'd remember the trips we all took, and the ARE WE THEIR YET??, or the HE's TOUCHING ME!, screaming from the backseat. You'd also remember the things you taught us, that you thought didn't think would stick..like respecting your elders..helping others less fortunate, minding your manners. mom we learned all of that and more..!! You'd also remember the thanksgiving that we ran out of white milk and only had choclate milk, so you used that for mashed potatoes! HA! I want you to remember holding your Grandchildren for the first time, seeing them at christmas opening their persents and the magic in their eyes. I want you to remember them calling for you, when MOM or DAD was just too mean, and if only they could talk to GRANDMA, it would be better, cause Grandma understood more, than mom or dad.
But more than anything, I wish for my mom to come back for one day, so I could tell you that I miss you...and love you more than I can say. alzheimers is a nasty disease,,and it has robbed us of you...your smiles, your laughter, and even your jokes. Even though their are times when you can't quite remember me as your daughter, I want you to know, I will be their beside you, like you were their for me, during my troubled teenage years, my marriage falling apart, the birth of my twins..More than anything...I want you to remember all this..and know that when we can't be with you, you are in our hearts..And the memories that you gave us, will be passed on to your grandchildren. They will learn about the "chocolate potatoes". they will learn your fear of all things crawly..and the day your Granddaugther hid a worm in her pocket as a pet, and how she wanted you to put your hand in her pocket cause she had something special for you..only to have you scream and laugh at the same time.
mom you have given us soooo much....I only hope we do you justice, by giving that and soo much more in return...
Happy Mother's Day MOM....
I love you...........


BaronessK 52F

5/11/2006 12:50 pm

To me Alzhiemer's is there in the cateogory with Autism and Coma -- do we really KNOW what that person does or does not know, recognize, remember? Although your mother is still alive, I do empathize with your loss; but what, for example, do YOU remember (and how far back) on times like when you were a baby? Consciously probably not much; most people don't remember as far back as when they were actual babies or toddlers. Subconciously, buried down somewhere, everyone does remember. Subconciously, on some level, I do believe that people 'know' what's going on.

It must be hard for you to see your mom now but remember how she used to be, in all ways. You do have those memories, though, however bitter sweet they are at times.

Daddy had a heart attack (not a stroke) on his birthday in 1988; my oldest son was not quite 4 months old then. We rushed to the Memphis hospital, where he was lying in a coma with all sorts of machines attached to him. Daddy had 10% brain activity, according to the machines/doctors. A stroke had released an embollism which had set off a massive heart attack; that day he'd turned 47. I was yelling at him (he had grown steadily deafer over the years, and he was receiving massive doses of morphine, just in case said the doctors, even though he was in a coma); I talked to him everyday, for six (6) days. I was there when they pulled the plugs on the machines, holding his hand.

A lot of people asked me what I said to him. I told him, like I had constantly over the years, that I loved him. I was keeping him updated on who was coming to the hospital to see him; which ex-wives, which children, which other relatives. My half-sister had to delay her visit, since she wasn't told at first; she was in the hospital somewhere else giving birth to her first child. I finally had to tell him that his stepson refused to come to the hospital, claiming he (the step brat, who my father had raised since he was 3) "couldn't" come to the hospital.

Everyone else, but Daddy's stepson, had come to the hospital by the time I told Daddy that the brat wasn't coming; almost immediately Daddy's brain activity dropped to 5%. In my opinion Daddy had been holding on, in an attempt to give everyone time to get some kind of closure. I didn't need closure; like you, I had spent a lifetime (his lifetime) loving him and showing him that.

It all made me think, though -- people who are supposedly 'out of it' in coma type ways (or autism or alzheimer's)...do we really KNOW what they do or don't know? Daddy was in a coma, but I believe, truly believe, that he knew what was going on.

I believe, also, that on certain levels your mom knows what is going on; there is always the foundation of love that you have with her that she remembers, that she feels when you are around. I know that what she is able to show at times is lacking for you on some levels -- but at the same time doesn't it still make you remember and cherish those other memories? There are probably still times, even now, that you and she are making new memories that you will recall later with fondness (and with a bit of sadness, but that's the way of life).

I sincerely wish your mother a wonderful Mother's Day, and you as well. You both obviously have a warm, loving family; keep remembering, as you do now, that no matter what she is there, alive. There is still time for new memories, 'old' love that never fades away, and savouring the moment....

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