My boyfriend likes to finger me, but I'm not enjoying it.  

rm_Intent2842 71M
21 posts
9/12/2005 7:26 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

My boyfriend likes to finger me, but I'm not enjoying it.


Dear Tammy,

There are a few possible causes of this problem:

(1) Your boyfriend is a clutz whose idea of stimulation is whaling on your clit like it was a doorbell.

(2) Your boyfriend's technique is fine, but it just doesn't work for you.

(3) You aren't relaxed or aroused enough when your boyfriend is fingering you to enjoy it.

(4) You just don't like being fingered.

I'm going to give everybody the benefit of the doubt and go with option number 2.

Your boyfriend is probably just trying to please you and using some manual tricks that he heard about or that worked on his past girlfriends. If that's the case, he gets points for effort, but he needs to do what makes you feel good. He's not going to be able to guess, so you need to tell him and show him.

Do you masturbate by touching yourself? Then show him what you do, show him what feels good to you. Talk to him when he's touching you and tell him what you like and don't like. Take his hand and guide it. Show him where to touch, how fast, and how hard or soft. All women are different. Some like to have their clit stroked firmly and some can't stand to have it touched directly. Some women like steady pressure on their G-spot, some like it massaged vigorously. Experiment and find out what feels best to you.

If the problem is that you're not relaxed or aroused, be sure your boyfriend takes his time and you warm up with a lot of kissing, caressing, and intimate touch. If he's just jamming his hand down your pants or up your skirt, that's bound to be a turn off. Have him stroke your stomach and legs and gently rub your pussy through your panties till you get damp, then you should be ready for more intense finger fucking.

redmustang91 57M  
8604 posts
9/12/2005 8:12 am

Lubrication! Baby oil, saliva, your own juices, Astroglide, cooking oil, Pam, etc. Slow and steady with back and forth rather than around in a circle seems to work best in my experience. Practice makes better.


Become a member to create a blog