To thine own self be true?  

rm_GothBrooks71 45M
9 posts
8/8/2006 5:22 pm

Last Read:
8/10/2006 6:53 pm

To thine own self be true?

You know, it's funny to me to see how we all personify the hypocrisy that is inherent in the American values system. A grand statement, to be sure, but let me try to provide some clarity through the art of a simple example...

I'm a member of several dating sites other than AdultFriendFinder. They all vary in meaning, goal and presentation but in the end they all seem to bring like-minded people together in one way or another. They also tend to cater to a rather "vanilla" crowd in nature. They each contain a diverse plethora of unique individuals that all "play the game" by designing the quintessential "book cover" (a presentation of themselves as two or three paragraphs of summarization and a few "iffy" pics) and everyone attempts to set themselves aside from the others in some small, medium or super-sized way. Yet there is an inescapable pattern to each one - namely a single statement that irks me..."not interested in sex\intimacy". What?! So your over 30, divorced with 2 kids and you're on the Internet looking for dating material yet you are not the least bit interested in *hushed voice* S-E-X? Since when did sex become a dirty word for adults? Or even more to the point, when did it become "shameful" to enjoy human coupling, be it normal, exciting, kinky or even perverse? Are these individuals seriously thinking that is an attractive trait?

It's morbidly hilarious to me how people put "Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter" on a profile (when describing the qualities of their desired match) and yet within the first 30 minutes of chatting on-line with them I'm learning about the 4-some they had in college where they first tried DP while tripping on Ecstasy!! Or they are describing the best way to make them cum 3 times in a row! C'mon people...wise-up! Stay honest with yourself and everyone else. Just because you enjoy sex or are looking for someone hot, sexy or just plain attainable doesn't mean you have to play the puritanical role of the sexual martyr. It's NATURAL to want sex. It's NORMAL to want to be desired and needed and to see yourself as able to create that physical and emotional response...that same kind of want and need in another. In fact if you are not looking for a good sex partner by the time your over 21 (and not a virgin-by-choice) then I would be more hesitant about what's wrong in your head than anything else.

Ok, let me pause to acknowledge the angle of the woman who is trying to avoid being seen as an easy target or the subject of a "booty-call" or even that of a Fuck Buddy. I get it. I understand. I feel for ya. But reality is that if a terribly hot man asked for a moment of intimacy with you, in your deepest heart of hearts I feel you would jump at the chance! Isn't that half of the reason the "free pass" concept was invented?! *grin* Some of you may shake your heads vigorously at that comment either in support or denial and sure, I'm going out on a limb with that one, but let's be real here...humans do enjoy sex and like to feel attractive and a hot partner who is into them can definitely elevate your self-esteem as well as ignite the loins. Even if you don't want the booty-call you can still admit to enjoying sex, right? I feel that the solution is easy...tell those booty-callers that your not interested in THEM even though you are interested in sex. Just be honest and forthright.

So, let me descend about 4 flights on this soap box of mine and try to round out my example a bit. Those ladies that state "not interested in sex" let me tell you a secret...we men know it's BS and tend to disregard it anyway (yes I'm generalizing but work with me here). So if your putting that out there just to present a front that says "I'm no slut and I won't be treated like one!", then relax. Most men do not want to treat you like a slut (not that a slut is bad either but for the purposes of this rant, it works). And your actually doing more damage than good by your statement because a man will look for the woman that is comfortable with sex and her own desires for it and avoid the ones with the "hang-ups". And the bitch of that is most of the time the lady isn't really "hung-up" on sex, she just doesn't want to be seen as ONLY a conquest. It's up to you ladies, to run interference on those bastards that treat all women as objects instead of Goddesses. Here's the kicker...those guys your trying to ward-off are the ones that will not give two shits that you even put that on your profile! LOL It's twisted but true. It has a damaging effect because you scare off the ones that would be nice and nice to be with intimately and the ones that suck come along and bug you anyway! Poetic justice in an ironic way.

So why? Why say something that isn't true? To thine own self (and thine own self's desires) be true, ladies! Smile and be proud that you are healthy, happy functional sex-loving women and tell those jerks on the other side of the screen to bend over and take it like a man! *grin*

Movie Line of the Day: "Were they built for pleasure or for speed? Did you play motor boat??" What movie? What actor?

rm_PurryKitty2 48M/50F
9753 posts
8/8/2006 6:01 pm

Thanks for the advice~!

Purry {=}


angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
8/8/2006 9:22 pm

Welcome to the blogs! Thanks for the advice! I hope you'll stop by my blog sometime to say hello!

rm_bellastar21 31F

8/9/2006 9:27 pm

Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers. . .

I enjoyed the read. . .you are right.

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