Toy Story 4.5  

rm_GargameI_ 37M
4 posts
9/15/2005 12:58 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Toy Story 4.5


Stupid Story #129 Action Figure Animosity.

Hey fools! No this intro is not brought to you Mr.T. But instead a
plush, stuffed, more ridiculous looking, talking Steven Hawking toy!
Basically what you get when you buy this play set is Steven, the amazing
calculotron wheelchair (a wheel chair shaped calculator), And a Huang Xi
action figure (his sidekick who writes on the chalkboard for him and was
in kiss of the dragon 2). It's really cool because the wheel chair also
talks and says things like

Wheelchair Toy (Steven hawking voice): I have done the equation, and the
answer to the universe is........42.

Is this not great or what!? If society couldn't make Stephen hawking
out to be even more talented than he actually is, now he's gone and
solved the fucking universe! The wheel chair calculator is way cooler
than regular wheelchair calculators because a little over 100% of the
time you will get error messages on your regular calculator, well this
calculator shoot sparks out of Stevens’s ass every time you get an error
message because in the world of pretend it shorts out his wheel chair
and throws him out any nearby windows! technically if you were stranded
on an island you could use this toy as a flare gun!

Craig: Why gravity?

Wheelchair toy: Craig, the answer is because
it's...........greeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaat.

And if you act now you can get a remote control version of the wheel
chair for $114.99! So act now if you have ever fantasized about see how
the suspension on a wheelchair handles stairs! Plus you'll receive at no
additional cost, that thing that he hold to his throat to make him sound
like the monotone robot, Johnny 5, in Short Circuit 2!

Satisfied Customer: I bought the wheelchair play set for my son Tyler
<Age 8> for Christmas and now he's able to balance the checkbook, do the
taxes and reprogram computers. All because of the wonderful things the
Steven Hawking wheelchair play set has to offer!

Unsatisfied Customer: That fucking thing almost burned down my house!
Anything that teaches autistic children to make lasers is fucking
ridiculous! I have seen retarded people with Parkinson’s disease learn more
from a scrabble game. Learning about lasers is great, but if you can't
even hit the toilet, how will you hit anything with a laser?!!

Wheelchair Toy (Steven Hawking voice): Kiss my ass Barbie, your house
could be made entirely out of doors and you would still be burned alive
in the fire. Your play set teaches women how to be fat southern pigeon
whores who fantasize about being able to resist snack machines.

Wheelchair Toy (Steven Hawking voice): I'm talking to you Barbie, let me
guess, you forgot how to breathe or you’re too stupid to talk.

Barbie (Pink Ferrari Voice): mmmmMMmm MMm mmMMMMm MMmmmM Mmmm (has
something in her mouth)

Wheelchair (Steven hawking voice): That's what you get for being able to
open your mouth; I haven't opened my mouth since I was 16!

So there you have it, act now supplies are limited, no cod's or checks
accepted, may be subject to size and limitations, consult your doctor
before using this product, low apr financing available, zero down, $500
cash back on pre approved credit.

It’s a freaking warzone, Bitch.
Harlan Gerdes

_____

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