Why are people the way they are?  

rm_GBcouple4fun 32M/32F
14 posts
5/10/2006 7:16 pm

Last Read:
7/19/2006 9:21 pm

Why are people the way they are?

My hubby and I met up with this man a couple of months ago. We met for drinks the first time and then coffee the next. We talked for hours and he seemed so real and down to earth. He is one of those people that you just love to be around. The third time we all got together we let things take its course and we ended up having the best sex ever. He was so caring and loving. He knew how to work his hands, mouth and that incredible cock. We met up one more time and had a great time. My hubby and I always kept in contact and just chatted with him about everyday life. We thought things were going so well. We thought that we had finally met someone that was real and that we could trust and befriend. Before we even made love with this man we had all decided that we really wanted to be friends. Then all of the sudden he stopped calling and returning calls. He said that he had somethings going on in his life but he did not tell us why he was blowing us off. We are really hurt by this guy. We really started to care about him. My hubby is just pissed. He can't understand what we did wrong. As for me I am just hurt. I put my feelings out on the table once again and they were hurt. Now my hubby can't understand why I don't really want to meet up with anyone else. I don't want to get hurt. But i don't want to be just used. I don't know what to do about this man or my hubby or my fears. i hope everything will just pan out for it self.

Pellissticky 33M

5/25/2006 3:41 pm

Sadly, I've been on the other end of this. It could well be that he's being eyed by people less understanding than us, and I've been in a situation where people were watching me closely for any sign that I might be going out and doing "questionable" things. He may simply be unable to communicate for fear he might be outed by people he doesn't want knowing.

I had to cut off contact with a great guy I'd met and we'd shared fantastic times and chats with because my workplace started cracking down on it. I wish I could contact him, but my only real online time is at work so I couldn't do it anywhere else.

rm_kinknextdoor 42M

7/14/2006 9:36 pm

The problem could be a difference of expectations. Threeways of any combination can be fun in the bedroom and become complicated outside of it. My experiences with married couples has always been that they are open to a possible friendship-with-benefits situation, but are not emotionally involved with the third party. You must understand that having a trusting and deep emotional connection with a couple is not the norm. There is nothing wrong with forming one if all agree to do so, but as one who has played with couples I would tread carefully in that realm.
The last thing a single person would want to do is undermine a couples' relationship on an emotional level, and perhaps this guy was scared of that. Another possibility is that he met another M or F and is trying to form his own relationship. The situation you sought may have made it difficult for him to honestly pursue his own one-on-one thing. It sounds like he handled it poorly and should have been honest with you. Honesty in these things is the most important, but most difficult thing to have. The nature of this site is not to produce deep bonds, friendships, or marriages. Many people here are simply seeking to fufill sexual desires, often ones they aren't open about to anyone else and sometimes while cheating on a significant other.
You two seem like nice and trusting people. I would advise you to be secure in your own relationship (as you do seem to be) and not expect too much on an emotional level from a third party. If you find it and it grows into what you want, terrific. But don't get discouraged if your experiences fall short.

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