Poll for the attached ladies: Married people having Sex on the side? Is it OK?  

rm_FrankTT4 43M
75 posts
5/21/2006 5:46 am

Last Read:
6/15/2006 7:21 pm

Poll for the attached ladies: Married people having Sex on the side? Is it OK?

Poll question: If you're in a happy relationship, but unfulfilled sexually, is it OK to have a friend on the side?
Yes: you only live once, do what makes you happy!
No: you're going to hell buddy!
Maybe: every relationship is unique, who am I to judge?
Maybe: monogamy is unnatural, affairs can save relationships, not end them
Maybe: psst...Frank...call me !!! :)

rm_denizk2 66M/61F
1046 posts
5/25/2006 5:44 am

It is not the question if you have a happy relationship.If the relationship is bad you feel you are free to do anything.A happy relationship covers sex also

rm_drtyboots 49M/45F

5/30/2006 9:11 am

WOW so not a black and white kindof question Frank...lol...cheating is cheating..regardless of the reason...if you are in a happy relationship you owe it to your spouse to be honest and communicate your desires. we won't play with anyone whose spouse doesn't know...it justisn't right..


Lineholder71 44M/46F

6/8/2006 8:55 am

I often wonder why people get into relationships with the opposite sex at all. Men seem to want to spend alot of time talking sports, going out with the boys, working on their car, ignoring the wife nagging to get house work done etc. And they also seem to crave mainly oral and anal. Why not date other guys then? And for women, we mainly want someone to have meaningful talks with, go shopping with, someone who jumps up immediately to do housework, likes to decorate, ecct. And for alot of women after they have kids, they lose their sex drive all together and would just rather cuddle. So why not get a wife?
I think that when you get married, enter into a relationship whatever, it is like a contract. And if you suddenly change the rules of the contract, ie, I don't like sex anymore, is that fair to your partner? But you also change the contract too if you don't share your needs and desires with your partner. What is the point of sharing your life with someone if you cannot be completely open to what each other needs? Some people quantify cheaters as selfish, but is it not just as selfish to not want sex and expect your partner to just be ok with that for years and or life? I understand that there can be medical conditions etc but thats not what I am talking about. I am talking about just plain lack of desire or willingness. Just my 2 cents. Not meant to offend. Vicky

Screw you guys...I'm going home!

rm_FrankTT4 43M
25 posts
6/9/2006 1:18 pm

"Some people quantify cheaters as selfish, but is it not just as selfish to not want sex and expect your partner to just be ok with that for years and or life?"

^ That comment really resonates with me. So true.

Lineholder71 44M/46F

6/10/2006 6:38 am

Why thank you Frank, I can be pretty SMRT when I want to be.

Screw you guys...I'm going home!

Tub43or4 47M/45F

6/13/2006 4:20 pm

No, sorry folks, it's not alright. Cheating is cheating. Wow, when did I become a preacher, lol. I have now started talking to cheating friends about swinging????
Can I rant on your blog at this point about the fact that the majority of the world gets marriage advice, pre-marriage and post-marriage, from celibate, 50 something year old clergy?
Whether you are happy or unhappy, i think attraction to others is a natural. We are taught to suppress those feelings and lie. Distrust gets created and the cycle gets worse.
My opinion is that if things are off track, go to counselling. Most have it covered in benefits packages and you can learn to talk. If you are different sexually and lots are, can you come together or come up with the agreed upon plan that avoids horrible situations? Communication is a brutally undertaught skill.
Based on my tone, been there, done that. It works.
Drtyboots, we used to think your way about cheaters but have decided that is not our business. I guess it might change if it was something ongoing. Not sure?
Again, just an opinion.
I have logged in today as Pete, but lets call me DAVE.

4biddenfruit1978 38F

2/24/2008 6:08 pm

Hey Everyone!

Thought I would address this! I was recently involved with a married man for a few months and it was such a seesaw of emotion. We had Amazing Sex!! I have a high sex drive and he was able to service me! He mentioned being unhappy in his marriage and wanting out..he left his wife and moved out.. only to move back in a month later-feeling he loved her and feels bad he hurt her and was uncomfortable he was losing 1/2 his money her. However after they got back together we slept together a few more times until I recently ended it... he will never leave..even though he is not happy and I truly believe that if you are that unhappy in your marriage - do something about it!
Married men are afraid to hurt their wives..however fucking other women.. isn't the solution.. No matter how careful you are...there are always suspections.. and one day.. the truth surfaces. I don't mean to be judgemental.. It's the situation I am judging, not you as a person..You're probably a good person... But honestly if you do love your wife, don't act in a cowardly manner. If your not happy be honest no matter what the consequence..do what is right for both of you!

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