Santa Letters  

rm_FoggyRooster 38M
29 posts
12/8/2005 11:26 am

Last Read:
11/21/2007 1:47 pm

Santa Letters


Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas.
Iv ben a good boy all yeer.
YeR FReND,
BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in
trash disposal. How about I send you a fu*king
dictionary so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving
your older brother the space ranger, at least HE
can spell!
PS Have your mother start calling you Rain Man!
Santa

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only
thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for
everybody!
Love,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't
they?
Santa

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for
Christmas, I'd like for my mommy
and daddy to get back together. Please see what
you can do.
Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
What, like your dad's going to quit banging the
babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane?
Tell you mom to lose some weight and I'll talk to
your daddy. Let me give you some nice Legos in
the meantime and let's see if you can build up a
family with those.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, playstation, a train, some GI
Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis

Dear Francis,
I'll tell you what, I'll send you a round trip ticket
to the North Pole so when you get here I can kick some
sense into your fuc*ing head. Who names their kid
"Francis" any ways? I'll bet you're gay. I'll send you the
village People album instead.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree,
and I Left carrots for your
reindeer outside the backdoor.
Love,
Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the sh*ts and carrots make the deer
fart in my face. You want to be nice for Santa?
Leave me a bottle of Johnny Walker and some Toblerone
and tell your mom to wait up.
Santa

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are
you making Toys?
Your friend,
Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All toys get made in China. I have a condo in
Vegas where I spend most of my
time squeezing cocktail waitresses a*ses, and
losing money at the craps table.
and then one shi*ty day a year, I send toys to all
you little fu*kers!
Santa

Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really
know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that stupid? I hope my reindeer crash
into your window and trample your family in their sleep
for having such a stupid child!
I'm skipping your house.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please
please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy

Timmy,
That whiney, begging sh*t may work with your
folks, but that crap don't fly up here. You're
getting a King Cobra instead. He likes it when you pet his

Santa

Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love,
Marky

Mark,
First of all, stop calling yourself "Marky," that's
why you're getting your a*se whipped at school. Second,
you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent
apartment complex in Clinton Twp. Third, I can get
inside your sh*t hole just like all the hobo's in town
do.
I will mail your mom some crack the week before
christmas and she will leave me a key. I am sending you food
stamps for christmas.
Your friend,
Santa

silkysmoothlegs3 105F

12/14/2005 4:17 am

pmsl
very good
love those
silky xx


rm_FoggyRooster 38M
38 posts
12/16/2005 2:08 am

thx for stopping by again Silky


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