|Blogs > rm_FoggyRooster > My Blog|
1."I was so poor growing up... if I wasn't a boy... I'd have had nothing to play with."
2."A girl phoned me the other day and said,'Come on over. Nobody's home.'I went
over. Nobody was home."
3."During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the othernight she
called me from a hotel."
4."One day I came home early from work... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to
the guy, 'Hey buddy, why are you doing that?'
He said, 'Because you came home early."
5."It's been a rough day. I got up this morning, put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom."
6."I was such an ugly kid... when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering
7."I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a Radio."
8."I was such an ugly baby... my mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend."
9."I'm so ugly... my father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet."
10."When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, 'I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through.'"
11."I'm so ugly, my mother had morning sickness AFTER I was born."
12."I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
13."Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, 'Do you think we'll ever find them?'He said'I don't know kid. There's so many places they can hide.'"
14."My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday."
15."I'm so ugly, I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get."
16."I went to see my doctor. 'Doctor, every morning when I get up and I look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up - what's wrong with me?' He said,'I don't know but your eyesight is perfect.'"