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Extracts from the problem page of the famous Australian men's magazine "Cobblers",starring the legendary "Uncle Bruce,"... the "agony aunt
with Balls" aka Stones
Q. Dear Bruce I have some lucky condoms that I keep in my wallet. I am beginning to wonder if they really are lucky as they have been there for two months.
A. Jesus mate, no worries. Men only use rubbers when they are sober anyway. Guess that means you've been p*ssed for two months
which makes you one lucky AdultFriendFinder@rd ! Just on a medical note rubbers are good when you do an Abo as they are smelly AdultFriendFinder@rds, Oh and Roos
too,helps avoid bush rash.
Q. Dear Bruce my girlfriend got upset when I suggested I use an old girlfriend's vibrater on her.
A. No worries. I've seen this before. Women need reassuring. Tell the stupid bitch that you have cleaned it since you last used it.
Sometimes Sheila's get hung up on hygiene.
Q. Dear Bruce, After my last Hockey game I got an erection in the showers. Is this normal , I am a single guy and like girls.
A. Nah mate you're queer. Only queers play hockey.
Q .Dear Bruce, my wife says I don't use enough lubricant before we have s*x.
A. Exactly how many beers are you drinking before you root her ?
Q. Dear Bruce , I am beginning to suspect I am gay. I wear leather trousers and have just grown a Freddie Mercury mustache. I don't know who
to turn to.
A. Get a grip of yourself man. Face facts, be logical: You're queer,no one likes you , get a gun, blow your brains out.
Q. Dear Bruce my girl friend says we don't do enough foreplay.
A. Geez mate, you had me stumped for a bit. I didn't recognise the word Foreplay. Then it struck me, Fore is what you shout in
golf.. Jeez guy, men don't play golf with women but it's OK for her practise putting with your dick.
Q. Dear Bruce, I fooled around with a Kiwi and now I have a dose. What do I do ?
A. Deny ,deny, deny, deny, deny and never ever ,ever, ever,ever admit to going with a kiwi.
Q. Bruce the boys are telling me there is such a thing as dingo s*x. What is it ?
A. You wake up next to an ugly Sheila and you chew your arm off to escape rather than wake her, just like a dingo caught in a trap.