Curious subject came up over drinks.  

rm_Fireball329 44F
94 posts
4/6/2006 9:35 pm
Curious subject came up over drinks.

So I'm sitting in the bar with some of my coworkers, enjoying happy hour, when the subject of married men came up - i.e., is it wrong to cheat, blah blah. I didn't really say anything in this discussion, because I know myself, and my opinions on this subject are a little too, umm, controversial. But I got to thinking about it after I received a mail from someone here about the very same issue. It went as follows:

"I find that you're a very straightforward person, and so I must tell you with disappointment that I am not going to be the person you will want to meet, as I am married. However, I had to write and let you know that I'm very impressed with what I read. Thanks for laying it out on the line."

First off, I want to thank the person that sent me that Email - for reading my profile AND understanding it. I really appreciate this more than you know. After nearly 3 months of people NOT getting it, someone finally has. Thank you very much for reading it.

But that mail got me to thinking about things. Why am I against hooking up with a married man on here? So I thought about my reasons, and about how I really felt about the issue. And here's what I came up with.

It is not out of some misguided "respect" for a married man's wife. I couldn't care less about the wife, frankly - if she's not giving it to her husband for whatever reason, well yeah, duh, he's gonna go looking. This is pretty much a given, so it's not as if the wife has anyone but herself to blame. (This is one of the reasons why I said nothing in the discussion, because the general social attitude is that "it's the cheater's fault". Ummm, not necessarily.) I'm not saying that every married man running around out there looking for a side dish has a wife that isn't willing to give him sex - we all know that's not the case. But I'm willing to bet that some of these wives who feel justified in holding back have some serious issues.

I think the reason why I don't want to be "with" or to date a married man is simple - it's a matter of honesty. I've been with guys on here before that had girlriends or wives - but they were open with each other about what they do. They know of each others' affairs and fully approve. I met a guy on here once whose girlfriend not only knew of me, but encouraged him to come over here and meet me. Now that's honesty. That's something I can respect. I want to know that a man's "significant other", if he has one, can pick up her phone at any time, dial my number, talk to her man comfortably, and hang up the phone knowing full well what we're doing and why we're doing it. And being okay with it.

That's exactly why I refuse to date a married man, because 9 times out of 10, their wives know nothing. And that's not right to anyone. It's not right to the wife for obvious reasons - she's being lied to. It's not right to ME because I risk someone "finding out" about me, then making my life a living fucking hell. I refuse to deal with that shit.

So.... no, married men are off my list. I don't give a fuck how attractive you are or how big your cock is. If you're so fucking unhappy in your marriage, you know where the courthouse is - file some papers and get out of it. I don't feel sorry for anyone who's "trapped", because there's a way out of it.

Although you're off my list, Mr. Married Man with the Mail, I do appreciate your comments, and I thank you. A friend I can definitely be to you, and I will. =) Thanks for writing me.

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