Quickies With Your Fanny  

rm_EveLWoman 55F
405 posts
2/16/2006 6:55 pm

Last Read:
3/3/2008 10:22 pm

Quickies With Your Fanny

Aunt Fanny receives a lot of mail… not all of it requests for her famous gum jobs either.

Because of the volume, Aunt Fanny sometimes has to keep her answers short and to the point. (also because she tends to doze off quite often)

Here are a few quickies from Aunt Fanny’s
mail box:

Twister Tom writes:
Dear Aunt Fanny,
I recently heard of a new sex position where the woman puts her shoulders on the floor with her back against the couch. Her legs extend over her shoulders to the floor next to her head. The man’s position is to bend or squat over the woman facing the couch allowing the woman to manually stimulate herself and also her partners balls, anus, etc. Sounds like fun don’t you think?


You Yoga folks have all of the fun, huh?
Sounds like 12 weeks of rehab from a broken hip to me.


As if that wasn’t enough, Tom suggests another of his favorite positions;

She lies on her side with her lower leg straight and her upper leg bent up
toward her body. I kneel and then sit on her lower leg. As I enter, I lift
her upper leg to go over top of mine. Often I'll put my free hand on her
shoulder to get in deep. It feels great!


Tom goes on to say that this one time his toe accidentally released his "girlfriend's" air valve and the fun immediately ended.


This one from Curious Carl:
Dear Aunt Fanny,
Why is the head of my penis larger than the shaft?

Dear Carl,
To keep your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead.


It's always nice when Fanny hears from couples;


Dear Aunt Fanny,
Please settle an argument. I say men get more pleasure from sex than women.
My wife disagrees. Who is right? The winner gets oral sex from the other as a reward.
Signed, Larry & Linda


Dear Larry The Licking Loser,
Your wife is right. Women receive more pleasure from sex than men. Think of it this way:
When your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out,
which feels better-your ear or your finger?


Sometimes, readers get a little personal;


Dear Aunt Fanny,
My husband says I am too quiet when we have sex and he would like me to talk more during the act.
I’m a bit shy and was wondering; Do you talk to your husband while you're having passionate sex?
Silent Susie


Dear Sue,
Hell no! Why would I want to make a phone call at a time like that?


Last but not least, this nice young man needed some motherly advice;

Dear Aunt Fanny,
If I let a man suck my dick, does that mean I’m gay?
Signed,
Just really happy


Dear Happy,
No.
Now please get back to making those license plates



9Simon9 66M
292 posts
2/17/2006 5:36 am

Great, humorous writing.


DTduzDallas 50F

2/17/2006 6:02 am

lmfao omg these are hilarious!


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
2/17/2006 8:06 am

where do you get these! my god!


LadytoPleaseYou 64F
5447 posts
2/17/2006 12:31 pm

I love you Aunt Fannie

PENIS CHARMING....where are you?


rm_EveLWoman 55F
36 posts
2/17/2006 6:12 pm

Fanny says - Thank you all for reading.

hunyhole- I'll keep them cumming, but somebody else is gonna have to clean up after them.

Simon- I like a simple man.

DTdD - If you ever get tired of doing Dallas let me know. You can come help me do some of these coots here at the home.

Scope - The boobs have dropped, the pussy's gotten dry, but the mind is still sharp.

Lady - Right back at you. If I ever decide to do some research on some girl/girl action, you're on my list!

honni - I'm wicked & twisted? Are those white pants you're wearing?
After Labor day?


vanna4u 38F

2/18/2006 3:51 pm

Blow jobs are fun. I don't even know how many times I've given them. But then again, I'm not real good at numbers! LOL! I'm better at letters.


oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
2/19/2006 1:10 pm

LMOAO. Damn your a funny old broad Aunt Fanny.


kyplowboy22 61M

2/19/2006 7:38 pm

roflmao, when will it end, my ribs cant take much more! lol

kpb


slidein2meplz 61F
1994 posts
2/19/2006 7:59 pm

"To keep your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead."...OMG...priceless. So funny....I hyperventilated laughing. Aunt Fannie.... YOU ROCK!

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~


womanoirish 53F

2/19/2006 11:43 pm

laughter is a priceless gift - thank you Aunt Fanny!!!


rm_EveLWoman 55F
36 posts
2/20/2006 4:14 pm

Aunt Fanny says:

Vanna? Buy a vowel, or a clue, or something.

oldman - if you were 10 years older...I'd do ya.

plowguy - ribs hurting? ain't you a delicate flower. Toughen up man! Theres more to cum.

Slidegirl - breathe into a paper bag! Use the one that 40oz came in.

Irish - not exactly priceless...I dish this stuff up for free, but I charge for blowjobs so it works out.


massagemeister2 61M

2/21/2006 7:41 am

Fanny,
I'm confused by Carl's question and your response to it. I had always assumed I had a "normal" penis, but am now worried that I may be some sort of freak. Please tell me why the shaft of my penis is larger than the head of my penis. The shaft is a little over 6 1/2 inches around but the head is only 6 inches around. I have never hit myself in the forehead, but have given a couple of girls black eyes (accidentally of course!). Should I consider surgery, or is there some other way to stop hurting these wonderful women?


rm_EveLWoman 55F
36 posts
2/21/2006 5:23 pm

dear MM2,

if you want to stop giving women black eyes, stop poking them with that thing!


massagemeister2 61M

2/22/2006 7:27 am

Evel-
Like I can control it? I'M not poking them! I'M just the innocent bystander the poker wants to call home! You're a clever girl- surely you've noticed these things have a mind of their own!

I feel terrible. Now am I not only a freak, but am apparently a sadist as well. Should I embrace my new found epicaricacy and status as a side show act? Is there a blog for schadenfreude freaks? Or have I misinterpreted EVERYTHING you've said (as we men do on occassion with you women).


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