Cottage Cheese belongs at the A&P  

rm_EveLWoman 56F
405 posts
4/22/2006 10:00 pm

Last Read:
4/28/2006 9:15 am

Cottage Cheese belongs at the A&P

Well the other day I was in a mood ‒ both bored AND mischevious ‒ frightening combination, and decided that I needed a few more cheesy digital pictures. I mean it’s kind of like CDs and good hoop earrings; can we ever have too many? Anyway, not having a cheesy photographer in my life at the moment, I grabbed the tripod, made sure it was well before my son was home from school and tackled the project.

There are laying naked on the bed shots that I really like, so I thought I’d give one of those a go.

Have you ever tried to take pictures of yourself with a tripod and digital camera? The timer capability is great, but I tend to end up with about a hundred shots of mostly empty space with about 1/8 of me in the frame.

Anyway, 100 shots later, I got one. Looking at the thumbnail shot on the camera viewer, I was really pleased. Yes, my ass is on the big side, but not quite as beached whale-like as I imagined. This was fun! So I did a bunch more, in various stages of whorish clothing and positions. Not bad…

Finished up and uploaded the pix to my computer for a little cropping and lighting up. OK, now let’s get these on the big screen…

WHAT THE FUCK????

WHERE did all that bumpy shit come from? And WHOSE ass exactly, is that???

To say that I ain’t Papy is the saddest understatement since John Goodman admitted to being a little overweight.

OH MY GOD.

I got SO DEPRESSED!

What have I learned from this experience? Well several things:

1. Today’s modern high 5.0 megapixel, high optic quality lens digital cameras suck. I hate them.

2. Never take digital photos of your naked, fifty-plus old self when harsh sunlight is streaming through the window

3. Candles and soft lighting were not adopted for romantic purposes. They’re totally survival based.

4. There is a reason why we can’t see our own asses. It keeps the Suicide Among Middle Aged Women numbers done. Unfortunately, this reality also tends to raise the Death By Chocolate numbers.

The good part is that the little adventure slapped into a state of reality regarding those ‘couple of pounds’ that have creeped back on. I’ve always been math challenged and apparently this extends to my ability to accurately count.

Sigh…

New resolve has set in, and I have targeted Sunday, April 23 as my target date for new resolve and enthusiasm regarding taking better care of myself.

Wish me luck!

1waddlingwahine


caressmewell 53F

4/22/2006 11:08 pm

Good luck...I started my new resolve in February..results are so far so good!


saddletrampsk 54F

4/22/2006 11:21 pm

Awwww..don't be so hard on yourself..you are cordially invited to [post 319220]..hope you can attend..


hotandhorny107 58F

4/22/2006 11:33 pm

LOL I hate having my photo taken at all, rarely happy with the outcome, whether I am fully clothed, butt nekkid or anything in between. And no matter what I try it doesn't work...so I say take me as I am there is more to me than my physical body....


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
4/23/2006 12:02 am

Thanks! May we both become even more fabulous than we already are.
1hotwahine

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
4/23/2006 12:05 am

OH, and if you have a silver or gold ball, the 1/8 is supposed to be one-eighth, not a dick pic, lol.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
4/23/2006 7:17 am

haha...whata limpy


kyplowboy22 61M

4/23/2006 9:55 am

lmao. The funny part about this is, I knew who wrote it before the signiture at the bottom. Not from the subject matter, which I imagine to be a gross exageration, but from the writing style. Hummmm, think I have been blogging too much, Wahine???? lmao

kpb

PS: Hope we hear something from that ol battleaxe Fanny soon, too


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
4/23/2006 11:59 am

And what language are you speaking?

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
4/23/2006 12:01 pm

    Quoting PassionsWine:
    get the Corel Paintshop Pro X it does wonders lol

    If you need it I can try to think of a way to send it to you.
LOL, I have Photoshop, but I don't want to 'cheat.' At least not yet. But if the day comes that I have to resort to the smudge tool for my jowls, then I'm THERE!!!!

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
4/23/2006 12:04 pm

    Quoting hotandhorny107:
    LOL I hate having my photo taken at all, rarely happy with the outcome, whether I am fully clothed, butt nekkid or anything in between. And no matter what I try it doesn't work...so I say take me as I am there is more to me than my physical body....
Actually, I don't really have a problem with pictures of me. I was just kind of flabbergasted at all the bumpy stuff. Yes there is more to me than my physical body, but I'm also looking at it from a health perspective and it was kind of a wake up call, that I need to take a little better care of the physical body part of me.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
4/23/2006 12:08 pm

    Quoting saddletrampsk:
    Awwww..don't be so hard on yourself..you are cordially invited to [post 319220]..hope you can attend..
I'm not really being hard on myself. Just a little good-natured bitching with the girls.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
4/23/2006 12:09 pm

    Quoting kyplowboy22:
    lmao. The funny part about this is, I knew who wrote it before the signiture at the bottom. Not from the subject matter, which I imagine to be a gross exageration, but from the writing style. Hummmm, think I have been blogging too much, Wahine???? lmao

    kpb

    PS: Hope we hear something from that ol battleaxe Fanny soon, too
Funny you should mention that...I think that Fanny got reminded of how much she enjoys this. When I submitted this to Eve, I'm hoping it got her our of hibernation.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


Seriously_Real 48M

4/23/2006 3:01 pm

*pretending that he never read this*


RailBaron2 54M

4/23/2006 3:43 pm

You might be suprised what some men find sexy & attractive


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
4/23/2006 11:24 pm

    Quoting RailBaron2:
    You might be suprised what some men find sexy & attractive
Actually, Baron, this post was motivated by what I find sexy and attractive, lol.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
4/24/2006 10:54 am

Just pull out some old butt shots and post those. Afterall, everyone keeps saying that they want to "keep the mystery" until actually meeting ... LOL!


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
4/24/2006 9:33 pm

"pretending she never read the comment"

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
4/24/2006 9:34 pm

    Quoting humboldthonni:
    Ah Wahine...I know just what youre feeling. I call it the creeping cottage cheese syndrome and I have it too....

    If you find a solution please blog it...
If I find a solution, I'm gonna market it! lol

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
4/24/2006 9:39 pm

    Quoting rm_kelli4u2dew:
    Just pull out some old butt shots and post those. Afterall, everyone keeps saying that they want to "keep the mystery" until actually meeting ... LOL!
LOL, funny. Nah, I'd be afraid of false advertising. Plus these weren't to be published, just for a friend. I took one of the results and photoshopped it into a drawing thing above.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
4/25/2006 3:23 pm

Hey, I agree, the new cameras suck. Hell, all cameras suck. Let's go back to cave drawings. Everyone looked good as a stick figure.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
4/25/2006 9:26 pm

    Quoting rm_DaphneR:
    Hey, I agree, the new cameras suck. Hell, all cameras suck. Let's go back to cave drawings. Everyone looked good as a stick figure.


That's it! We'll find a way to convince society that cameras are politically incorrect. It could be a pro-hieroglyphic movement. I'm in!

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


LadytoPleaseYou 64F
5447 posts
4/27/2006 6:53 pm

I know exactly what you mean. My girlfriend and I share photo tips since both of us have a somewhat less than perfect 10 body. Lighting is the key.

PENIS CHARMING....where are you?


MOfunNOWWOW 55F

4/28/2006 10:48 am

Corel Paintshop Pro X does wonders...can I look good and eat lots of chocolate


MOMO
just a squirrel trying to get a nut


redswallow777 48M
6810 posts
3/30/2008 5:30 am

I certainly can commiserate with parts of your post 1hot. I guess that is why I don't delve into picture taking all too often myself. Each session seems to take forever before I get the right lighting, distance, position, etc. Fortunately I use my work camera that is very much cave-man digital. It may be pixel simple but it loads faster and is less apt to glue up the works.

I enjoyed the humor in your post. Good luck on becoming the "new you."


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