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This week my blog postings will focus mostly on stuff I’ve done over the past few months. You know how certain TV shows (e.g., Star Trek) sometimes have multi-part episodes? And if you tune in to an episode in the middle of the series they start by showing brief clips from previous episodes? Well, my blogs this week will be sorta like this.
Previously on Slut Trek...hmmm…there’s an idea for a TV series. By the way, I use the term ‘slut’ as a title of honor, and I apply it equally to men and women. The negative connotations of the traditional term stem from the oppression of women, and from the oppression of erotic life generally, so I am joining those who want to re-define these useless old derogatory terms for the benefit of more erotically liberal world-views. So I am a slut, and proud of it.
Recently we went to a housewarming party hosted by some members of our group. Carme (my wife) had a boyfriend staying with us for the weekend and they had plans to be busy, so Carme would not be going to the party. Also, her girlfriend Tina (keep I mind I will be making up fake names for everyone), was bringing a date to our house for the evening (our house often serves as a place for erotic rendezvous for friends who need a place to play). Bottom line: If I didn’t have a date, I would have to go to the housewarming party as a single male, which is something I prefer not to do if I can avoid it. Luckily I have numerous ways to avoid this fate.
On this particular evening my friend Jane was looking for something to do so we went to the party together. Now I should mention that Jane is a flaming bisexual. Parties really tend to light up when Jane appears on the scene. When I told Jane about the party, she asked if she could bring along a girlfriend who was not a swinger, but was curious about swinging. I checked with the hosts and they said yes. I had planned to get to the party by nine, but the gals didn’t pick me up until after 10:30. (I was going to be the designated driver.)
By the way, the hosts (Stan and Sarah) had asked me to bring some games or something for ice breakers. This was their first house party and they were counting on my supposed expertise to get everyone naked and having fun. Well, as it turns out, no ice breakers or expertise was needed. When we rang the doorbell, Sarah came to the door totally naked.
But wait, I forgot to mention: Just as we were pulling into Stan and Sarah’s driveway, I discovered that Jane’s friend, Linda, did not really understand what sort of house party this was. Jane insisted “I TOLD you it was a swinger’s party.” Linda said “No, you just said it was a housewarming party!” So suddenly Linda is panicking. “I’m NOT doing anything,” she insists, “and I’m not getting naked.” We assured her not to worry; she would have to do anything she didn’t want to do. Now, I know you’re not going to believe this cuz it sounds so fake ‒ like a cheap porn script ‒ but I need to mention that Linda was a cute, long-haired blonde who was just barely 21 and was rather naïve about life in general, even though as an active bisexual she had experienced more erotic diversity than most women her age. She had an interesting (tho not uncommon) view of “cheating.” She was monogamous with her boyfriend (who was a somewhat jealous type), but she didn’t consider eating pussy to be cheating cuz there’s no penetration. “What about sucking cock?” I asked, out of curiosity. “No, that would be cheating.” Still trying to be helpful I said: “Oh, and by the way, if you wanted to, you two could just play with each other.” (Non-swap, same-room sex is common at many parties). Linda didn’t think this was very helpful. “I’m NOT getting naked,” she repeated, like a comforting mantra.
Ok, so Sarah greets us naked at the door and Linda rolls her eyes with an “Oh shit, what have you guys gotten me into” sort of expression. Sarah apologizes for being naked, saying, “Sorry, I guess we got tired of waiting.” Sarah leads us to a bedroom where Stan and another couple were piled naked on a bed. I didn’t quite catch the conversation, but everyone was laughing. (I had not met this other couple before, but later found out the woman’s name was Mary.) Anyway, from what I could tell, Mary’s pussy had made some farting noises, and everyone was cracking up. And, on the subject of Mary’s pussy, I was happy to see a nice triangle of pubic hair. Now I’m not complaining, but most women in the swinging lifestyle shave their pussies. This is ok, of course, but I really appreciate variety, so I find the occasional hairy pussy to be a major turn-on.
Everyone was happy to see us, and welcomed us into the bedroom, etc., but the overall effect of our arrival was to interrupt the flow of the party. They said it was no problem because they needed a break anyway, so they all started getting dressed.
Linda asked where the bathroom was, then clutching her cell phone like a holy cross of protection, ran immediately ran inside and locked the door.
[To be continued…]