|Blogs > rm_Eric0072005 > Life in the early 40s ...|
Sometimes I think I have no friends
I even once said to my colleagues `YOU ARE NOT FRIENDS'
With a response of disappointment and bitterness from them.
As I think about what I said many years past
And how this hangs over my head
The people whom I have hurt
With these words I list below some friends.
1. Sally - the fat car park attendent of the club. Who told me her life stories and taught me how to use the Cash Card. That Top-Up machine next to her booth.
2. Vincent - one of the clubs old time Life Guard. He gave me tips during my life-saving course, shared with me his young boy in NS and gave me a life-saving rope when I asked for it. I take this as a gift.
3. Bashir - a young Bangladeshi who always, always sweeps by my place at 7 am. He never fails,like clockwork he does it. That same shy smile and a `Good morning to you' in his Bangali slang.
4. Thomas - the veteran car mechanic whose business have suffered because of cheaper new cars. Yet he offers excellent service at prices way below car agents. Taught me a few things everythime I have seen him - of car air-con, checking battery condition, how to see my brake disc and whether it is worth buying another car again.
5. Auntie - the Bread Lady who sells Bread for a living. Sometimes she asked me `So long I never see you' in Manadrin. I loathe to tell her that I went other places to buy bread. Her tired frame I see at times, sleeping at her table. I've sat with her before and listen to small talk. Another kind auntie to boot asking me ` Why you haven't got married till today? It's not good for you'. I smile in appreciation `Yes Ma'm. Dun worry for me. Take care.' Wondering if I will live to her old age.
6. Ex-School friends. All single at this time each one of them. Maybe we will gather one day at an Old Folks home or a Retirement Village I heard over the phone. Two very successful while another average. A fourth without a permanent place. He said `At this age, I can' afford it.' And we all meet that special time once a year called Chinese New Year. I wish well for my friends.
7. My Colleagues. Those who helped me, supported me in my job. Those whom I scolded for being slip-shod. After the heat is over, they still come alongside and joke with me. The younger ones know me more and invites me to go out with them - eating and playing sports. But somehow, the emptiness is there. The superficiality I cannot bear. And that is why I never go out with them.
I realised now there is a place to call people friends.
That I have been too harsh all along with them.
Their perception of friend is different from mine.
Certain criterias my expectation it's hard to find.
I guess I am too deep in thoughts over this issue at hand.
Lighten up and I will see there are friends much more of them.
A True Friend to those who are my friends.