|Blogs > rm_Elysia2005 > Too Many Hands|
I've said, many times now, that the next man with whom I become seriously involved (no, not the next Friend, but the next relationship) is going to just have to accept the fact that he will be subjected to a criminal background check, and random drug testing for the first three years. I'm not entirely sure I'm joking about that either. And after an e mail my sister sent me yesterday, I've added a dance test to the process. I'm sorry, but as much as I love music and dancing, I can't commit to someone whose primary moves are the "Caucasian Clap" and the "Whitey Hop." Yes, I know some white people can dance, I do have a mirror
But anywho. Let's get a little sexual with this one. Because there are other standards that need to be met for a longtime partner. In fact, there are standards that should be met no later than the second time together, if there is to be a third.
For one, guys, I just can't see myself wasting my time with a man who won't go down on me. Lord knows, every last one of you expects me to go down on him, which I do (and from the feedback I've gotten lately, I do it pretty well). I can understand not wanting to on the first date, but after that, you'd best learn to deal with it or I doubt you'll see much of me anymore. I'm not even THAT picky; I don't expect it every time, I don't expect you to eat me as often as I blow you... but if you're not going to eat at all, you'd better have some absolutely mind-boggling other skills and tricks to make up for it.
For another, a guy has to be able to talk to me, at least somewhat intelligently. I don't need a member of Mensa, I don't require a master's degree (though generally I prefer someone who's made it past high school), just someone who can hold his own and talk about things besides my tits and pussy, his cock, and his ex (good or bad).
Third, you gotta be a toucher. Not necessarily a cuddler, snuggler, stay-the-nighter (unless that happens to be the mood I'm in that night)... but definitely a toucher. You have to know when to be rough and when to be smooth...
Fourth, there absolutely HAS to be a little versatility. If, by our second time together, I know there will be five kisses, followed by a breast squeeze, followed by your hand between my thighs, strip down, suck on my left breast for three minutes and my right for two, kisses placed two inches apart from my breasts to my belly before a fake-out that passes over my pussy in favor of my hip, then three licks to the clit before 7.2 seconds of deep tonguing... Dude. Change it up a little. Surprise me with a new move every now and then, or a new location. Give me SOMETHING to work with...
Fifth... and this is more for long-term than short... we have to be able to spend time together sometimes without a marathon fuck session. Even (gasp) spend time together when we don't have sex at all, or when we just fool around a little. There's NOTHING WRONG with just sitting around enjoying each other's company - even enjoying the silence, or a TV show. Keep in mind, that half of "fuckbuddy" is "buddy."
11/3/2005 11:44 pm
*submits my application*|