|Blogs > rm_Elysia2005 > Too Many Hands|
Food for Thought
Food for Thought
I had an interesting question posed to me the other night... not sure I can explain it fully, but the basic gist of it was, he wanted to know exactly how I meant it, when I talk about my feelings for him. See, he's one of those special guys (of the crush variety, at least until I get a chance to meet him) for whom I have what I would consider genuine feelings. And yet there are catches. With me, there are always catches.
The first is the usual one - considering my odd situation, I'm not in a position to fall in love with anyone. It doesn't stop me from falling in love, mind you, but it does stop me from attempting to build a future with anyone else, until I put my own past to rest. And for various reasons, I'm in limbo on that. Call it an overdeveloped sense of fairness, or just call it indecision. Either way, you'd be right.
The second is a little more difficult, and one that's hard to explain as well. The best way I can put it, is that my heart has enough room in it for more than one person. Now, obviously (or maybe not obviously), sooner or later I will be ready to settle down again. Possibly with someone who is already in my life, possibly with someone I have yet to meet. When that day comes and I am ready, it will be just one man, and hopefully it will be forever. Yes, I am still a hopeful romantic...
Right now, I have crushes... and more-than-crushes, even among the men I haven't yet met... I don't know where I'll wind up long-term... but even if I can't be with any of these guys forever, it doesn't make me love them any less...
So... hope that at least partially answered your question.