Thoughts on Being Single:  

rm_Ellenback 58F
903 posts
8/5/2006 8:40 am

Last Read:
8/13/2006 7:27 pm

Thoughts on Being Single:


Being single is often a double-edged sword, and freedom carries certain responsibilities with it.

There are times, like now, when having the freedom to go where you want, and do whatever you want, can leave your soul empty, because there is no one to join you on your journey.

Friends are great to have, but when you've had a life surrounded by family - an SO for many years, and 3 kids, the hollowness of being alone can wear on you and leave you wanting.

There are times when I envy all of you still in relationships, no matter how thorny they may be, and those of you still raising your kids don't know how attached you become to that lifestyle, and how you'll miss it when it's gone.

When I spend time with friends, and they have kids, I end up focusing on the kids...my 'Mom Mode' kicks in, and I plan all kinds of fun activities to do with them, which my friends love, of course, as they don't have to worry, and can have some 'alone' time...but I need to find my 'off' switch, as I don't want to give them back...

Relish every minute of your life...go kiss your wife or husband, tell your kids you love them. It's quickly over, almost before you know it, and when they no longer need anything other than $100 bucks here and there, your heart will bruise.

Almost a year to the day since I left, with my Airbed and suitcase of clothes, and I guess I'm still grieving the loss of so much time and energy, so many years of devotion for naught. Well, I do have my kids, but they are broken, because I didn't shield them enough from the damage caused by my SO and his illness. God knows I tried, but dammit, I should have left come Hell or High Water, YEARS AGO...I stuck around, though, and only made the move after THEY had left first.

Maybe I'm just not ready to date, yet...I get so attached to each and every one of you in my life, and when you're not available for me, due to the realities of life intervening, I become instanteously lonely again.

Frantic activity keeps it at bay, but it's still there...I FEEL everything, there is no grey to me, and today I'm sad. I also think that SAD is a necessary emotion to feel, just as necessary as HAPPY, ANGRY, and all the others, but there are times when I just want the 'easy' button in my life...

What a sap, huh?

I'm going jamming this afternoon ♫ ♫♫ ♫♫ ♫♫ ♫♫ - I'd left off going to The Club for the past month so I could go do other things, and I miss it...my Old Celts will cheer me up, I just know it.

(((softboobyhugs)))

Elle


economickrisis 54M

8/5/2006 10:00 pm

Some sad and beautiful thoughts from a beautiful sheila with a beautiful mind.


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
8/6/2006 8:09 am

*kiss to kris for all those beautiful's, thanks you sexy thang!

(((softboobyhugs)))

Elle


wickedeasy 66F  
25406 posts
8/6/2006 10:50 am

sometimes i joke about how much i would love to have the house to myself. but you are right. i love the sound of the kids voices laughing or yelling at a game. the yell, "hey ma, more nachos" is music to my ears.

i am blessed to have found a man i love, a man who loves me. but sometimes ellen, i'm lonely too. my family is scattered to the winds. i yearn for those chaotic holidays with a house jammed pack full and kids tearing about. i used to sit and just listen to it sometimes and mom would come by and whisper in my ear "wonderful isn't it?"

thanks for making me think about this

WE

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


horny4770 60M
8158 posts
8/7/2006 3:45 am

Elle...When I was first alone, my youngest was still at home. When he moved out the house felt extremely large and quiet. That was the hardest time for me. I still miss not having them both around every day.

{{{HUGS}}}

H.


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
8/7/2006 4:03 pm

    Quoting wickedeasy:
    sometimes i joke about how much i would love to have the house to myself. but you are right. i love the sound of the kids voices laughing or yelling at a game. the yell, "hey ma, more nachos" is music to my ears.

    i am blessed to have found a man i love, a man who loves me. but sometimes ellen, i'm lonely too. my family is scattered to the winds. i yearn for those chaotic holidays with a house jammed pack full and kids tearing about. i used to sit and just listen to it sometimes and mom would come by and whisper in my ear "wonderful isn't it?"

    thanks for making me think about this

    WE
You're welcome, WE...it IS wonderful, even when they are screeching, fighting, and spitting at everyone. Ya know, I was with my SO for 28 years, and I don't think there was a time when I wasn't lonely, except for when my kids were underfoot and demanding things of me...just something about being needed that drives the emptiness away!

(((softboobyhugs)))

Elle


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
8/7/2006 4:08 pm

    Quoting horny4770:
    Elle...When I was first alone, my youngest was still at home. When he moved out the house felt extremely large and quiet. That was the hardest time for me. I still miss not having them both around every day.

    {{{HUGS}}}

    H.
Horny, babe, I do feel for ya, can't imagine grieving for your wife with a youngster still at home...but then again, thank God you had him with you! The hardest part of leaving, and going to my own place, was being alone so much, and it still is....3 days at home and I wanna shoot someone, or wrassle 'em to the ground...LOL

I'm a completely social person, and I just want to say: THANK YOU 'FRIENDS'...there are times when I'D BE IN A VIRTUAL PIT WITHOUT YA!

(((softboobyhugs)))

Elle


TheCelt35 52M
489 posts
8/9/2006 1:39 pm

who is this old celt geezer ...and why is he cheering you up

?


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
8/9/2006 2:31 pm

LOL TheCelt35 that's what I call the guys I play music with on Saturdays! OOOOOO I haven't told you about THEM, yet, have I?

These are a bunch of older guys who once were at the top of the South African and English Beat scene from the 60's, but have now gone underground to maintain privacy. One is a cabinetmaker, another works for a film studio...yet another, we haven't quite figured out what he does, other than drink single malt's of the finest quality. We all meet at a private warehouse club that has been 10 years in the building, and every square inch of the wall space is plastered with memorabilia... It's an excellent venue for a bunch of old lechers, and guess what? YOU'RE INVITED! LOL Just gotta learn how to play some blues, or at least, fit in....

(((softboobyhugs)))

Elle


TheCelt35 52M
489 posts
8/9/2006 3:50 pm

    Quoting rm_Ellenback:
    LOL TheCelt35 that's what I call the guys I play music with on Saturdays! OOOOOO I haven't told you about THEM, yet, have I?

    These are a bunch of older guys who once were at the top of the South African and English Beat scene from the 60's, but have now gone underground to maintain privacy. One is a cabinetmaker, another works for a film studio...yet another, we haven't quite figured out what he does, other than drink single malt's of the finest quality. We all meet at a private warehouse club that has been 10 years in the building, and every square inch of the wall space is plastered with memorabilia... It's an excellent venue for a bunch of old lechers, and guess what? YOU'RE INVITED! LOL Just gotta learn how to play some blues, or at least, fit in....

    (((softboobyhugs)))

    Elle
id love to swing by next time im in canada....lol last time i was there i drank canada dry...smirk


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
8/9/2006 9:43 pm

OMG that joke is older than I am, Celt!!! LOL Careful of the intended usage of the word, 'swing,' in here...this is an ADULT site, after all!

(((softboobyhugs)))

Elle


pussylovergta 56M

8/9/2006 10:50 pm

Interesting thoughts about actions and responsibilities.

Easy button is a non-reality. Life throws us curves. Life is difficult. What matters is how we react to these difficulties and what really matters is the thought that is given to our reactions to these difficulties. Life is never very simple. Sometimes our loved ones will not accept the help we are so readily willing to give. As stated before, life is never simple and straightforward.

I have learned it is never acceptable to withdraw to oneself. One should always reach out and seek new realities and opportunities. Voice of experience here.

It is late, just some thoughts from somebody who has run through some interesting set of experiences on his own. What solidifies a person is what they do after such experiences.

Take care,
pussylovergta


TheCelt35 52M
489 posts
8/10/2006 2:13 pm

    Quoting rm_Ellenback:
    OMG that joke is older than I am, Celt!!! LOL Careful of the intended usage of the word, 'swing,' in here...this is an ADULT site, after all!

    (((softboobyhugs)))

    Elle
i should lie and tell you it was a deliberate witticism


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
8/10/2006 4:20 pm

    Quoting pussylovergta:
    Interesting thoughts about actions and responsibilities.

    Easy button is a non-reality. Life throws us curves. Life is difficult. What matters is how we react to these difficulties and what really matters is the thought that is given to our reactions to these difficulties. Life is never very simple. Sometimes our loved ones will not accept the help we are so readily willing to give. As stated before, life is never simple and straightforward.

    I have learned it is never acceptable to withdraw to oneself. One should always reach out and seek new realities and opportunities. Voice of experience here.

    It is late, just some thoughts from somebody who has run through some interesting set of experiences on his own. What solidifies a person is what they do after such experiences.

    Take care,
    pussylovergta
Pussylovergta: You are an interesting fellow, and even more, correct....What doesn't break us, merely bends us. I haven't withdrawn, not in any way, and I'm ready to face new challenges once again.

Thank you for your voice!

(((softboobyhugs)))

Elle


pussylovergta 56M

8/13/2006 8:19 am

You are welcome.

We all have something that makes us interesting in one way or another.

In fact when you think it can't get more interesting, life throws you a curveball and sometimes they are really pleasant ones too.

Take care,
pussylovergta


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