|Blogs > rm_Ellenback > Full Tilt!|
It would seem that there are at least two separate types of guys hunting on here - the ones that have never had any 'wild' times, but want to, and then the ones that haven't, and, while intrigued, are quaking in their boots and need 'time' to think about it, almost inevitably bailing on this opportunity. Umm, okay, there IS a third type - the ones that have...let's not discuss that yet!
I seem to encounter both kinds here, and I am most 'perked AND irked' in the ones that want to embrace their own sexuality wholeheartedly while the heat is on, but then chill very quickly when the car door closes...
Is it a fear of performance? Shame creeping in? I am honest, and open, about the things I have done previously with my EX, and while I am not necessarily seeking this kind of thing out, at least I let you know upfront that my purity level is slightly tarnished. Hey, you don't learn to gush like this without climbing a few walls...And it wasn't all a terrific experience for me, I do have my learnings from that era, but remember, it was from within the accepted embrace of a long-term relationship that this experimentation took place.
Now I'm single, I can do as I wish, stay home on a Friday night and do laundry, or look into 'other' offers (damn, there are a lot of couples searching on a Friday night!!!) and I present myself to possible LTR's as such...
You have to be able to confront your interior judgements and assessments with me, and lots of guys just can't do that. It doesn't mean you're abnormal, it's just that normal yardsticks don't apply with me. Maybe one of those laser devices would work better?
The circus is in town, and that trapeze is looking awful good, even taking into account my primal and neurotic fear of heights!!!
3/4/2006 11:44 am
Maybe part of the problem is we’ve been using the wrong type of measuring instruments entirely. From what you’ve exposed of yourself I would guess you don’t have a ‘straight planed’ surface on or in you; I know I don’t. A soft flexible cloth tape may be the best choice.
I’ve always been a wild card; I don’t fit easily into standard shaped categories. There were about 6 years when I was as a wild stallion in a field of fillies. Then . . boy meets girl, yada, yada; I learned to use that wildness in the confines of that LTR. Now I’m alone, finding someone that can occupy the space adjacent to me has been difficult.
We all have a past; things we like and don’t like. I’ve climbed my share of ‘walls’ as well and have made accurate assessments of me. I’m beginning to think this guy is something of a freak. When I let it known who I am I get usually one of three responses. Run away, hold me away at arms length or attempt a change.
I don’t want to stay home on a Friday night. I want some wild, some docile and some in between; just not all in the same moment in time.
I’ve been to the circus; the high wire with no net was the choice for me. Even the fall wasn’t bad; the sudden stop at the bottom is what left ALL the marks. Make sure you let me know when you find answers.
3/5/2006 5:24 am
I don't really identify with or even understand what you're saying, but I'm sorry for your frustration.|