Do BJ's "Break the Ice?" for YOU???  

rm_Ellenback 58F
903 posts
5/23/2006 1:53 pm

Last Read:
6/12/2006 4:30 pm

Do BJ's "Break the Ice?" for YOU???

OMFG, what is going on with you men?

Really, this is the truth, read it, and see yourself (and then you'd better run from my vicinity!) or just laugh your ass off ...

New guy on IM, he 'dings' me, and we exchange 2 sentences, until I have to 'brb' due to child emergency here (chocolate, no spoon, brand new pink shirt, and big pudding grin up to the eyebrows!!!..now are you visualizing my 4 alarm sirens going off?!! And how the heck did she find a pudding cup in MY fridge??? )

He says, 'no prob'...

I come back, full of messy chocolatey tales, after leaving him for about 3 minutes...and he doesn't even comment or laugh..just goes right for the throat:

"so, what you lookin' fer..?"

Ummmm I'm babysitting, and if you read my profile, and my blog, then you would ALREADY KNOW what I'm looking for...

But, do I say that? NOOOOOOO

"Well, I like having fun, but with caring people only, and my schedule is really full right now."

No response for 20 seconds, then, whammo!

"So, would you be interested in meeting for a quick BJ sometime, to break the ice?"

Ummm..an icebreaker? Whatever happened to, "just a sec while I roll my tongue back up off the floor..." or, even, "hey, how bout them Senators...?"

Hey, nutbar, did you fail math somewhere, like, in kindergarten? 50/50 isn't a tough thing to figure out, should I whip out my
SHRAP' calculator for you?

Icebreaker, hmmm lemme guess, you're the proud possessor of a huge 'frigate'...right???

Four questions, and he's asking for a BJ...like, in his car???

I thought about it for like 1/89th of a second, and yah, my internal Dragon surfaces...and I opened up with, "wow, you just won the #1 rudeness award!"

But, before I could tell him that the only icebreaker he'd be getting near was a baggie full of hot water and his own mallet...he clicked off, DELETE...!!!

Yah bud how's that working for you? I mean, I'm open to new things and new people, but at least make the {cue air guitar here} offer of pleasuring me when you're trying to get your rocks off...

Hey, why do guys keep forgetting that this is ALL ABOUT ME? ( ) Ok, I know I've said that I failed math, but Sudoko and Kate Bush are challenging my brain to 'X and O' the pieces of PI, and I know I can tackle 50/50, even when reality says it's more like 60/40, or even 70/30...

Don't get me wrong, I looooove doing that, IF I think that there is mutuality in the 'do-ality'- it makes me feel in control, and for someone who's still learning about 'dicktating' and all that's involved in power...every little inch helps!

We need a Wal-Mart greeter at the front door of the lobby on A F F to tell all newbies that the women on here aren't just unpaid hookers. Ok, there's this one chick, from band camp, she accepts PayPal - calls it, "Pals with Benefits"

Guys who think of BJ's as nothing more than an icebreaker deserve all the frigid cold winds that blow their way.

With his social skills so 'cock-eyed', he deserves to be land-locked by frozen tundra (geez I hope he's got a wife with strong muscular thighs!)

Sorry for the rant, I got absolutely no sleep last night(for WORK, YOU PERVS!), granddarling is running me ragged ("nooo, not my makeup!!!" )
and I was looking for something to write about..

And then along came DOM...And, the most surprising thing? I was so ready to torch his receding ass with hot fire breath...almost without thinking, which would not have been the old me at all.

Hmmmmmmm, I kinda like this side of myself! LOL

(((squishyboobyhugs)))

DRAGONSTATUS: Dragon's roused, websites browsed, the cave is where my Dragon's housed....

Elle


wetta_one
941 posts
5/23/2006 3:21 pm

They are the same worldwide, the guys that is. They don`t know how to talk, don`t know how to use a messenger chat-I really sparked on the no humour/comment part, never had the blow job thing, but yeah a few lines and JUMP will ya woman!! 'Keen' can be interpreted so many ways, obviously ours is different to theirs

Paypal huh, hmmmm, LOL. Thanks for sharing hun


SleekIcilyVarix 41M

5/23/2006 3:35 pm

Lol...what a dicksmack. So here's a question for you...should I be glad that there are such tactless geniuses out there with a brainless approach making it easier to appreciate a genuine person, or should I be annoyed at them for making the women here looking for more too jaded to care?


saddletrampsk 54F

5/23/2006 4:03 pm

another loser on AdultFriendFinder story..sheesh


mikewv1967 49M

5/23/2006 4:19 pm

Wow, your blog is great. I'm sure you can laugh about it now, but at the time...I bet you were pissed. I know I would have been.

Unfortunately, this is an example of one of the 10%'ers.

That is the guy that represents only a very small fraction of the male gender and even we don't want to claim him...

He is the kind of a$$h0l3 that screws it up for the rest of us as well.

I am sorry you had that experience and I would be more than happy to chat with you and show you what REAL MAN can do to break the ice with a lady...


Djeeper1987 47M

5/23/2006 4:28 pm

That was so fucking stupid and funny.

Carpe Diem


expatbrit49 62M

5/23/2006 4:28 pm

ROFL too funny... so no BJ's on the first IM, is that what Im reading

Thank You for Your Time and Attention


Wordsmith2004 36M
7233 posts
5/23/2006 4:30 pm

Ice Breaker huh??

Heey maybe he was just bein' honest....

yahknow POLE-er bears can break the ice with their BIG....paws LOL riiiight

I had a guy offer me 200 dollares to dollop my dong bar and before the last email he offered 100....EEEW yes...but see I'm thinking I should wait and see if I can get my knob's networth up to a grand before I blog his straight guy stalkin' self...sounds like a plan?

Conserve Water and Prevent Global Warming: Shower With A MILF!


FunFlirty4u 45F

5/23/2006 4:39 pm

I can so relate to that. I have blocked so many men within 5 minutes or less of chatting with them. I just did a post today about some dink in chat. It happens way too often.


CrashnBern 58F

5/23/2006 5:18 pm

it almost makes a girl not want to chat...they read yr profile (maybe all the way) than its instant fuck... uugghh!!


1girlrevolution 46F

5/23/2006 7:01 pm

Hey I think I know that guy! It might be the one who asked if he could bust a nut in my pie hole. sheesh. lol

~1girl


horny4770 60M
8158 posts
5/24/2006 3:37 am

I was kinda hoping you could break the ice with me that way ... but not with your attitude missy!

What? No unpaid hookers here? I want a refund, I feel cheated!!!

Now the real questions are: was there any pudding cup left for you and how did the make-over go?

btw-burn his ass...he deserves it!


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
5/24/2006 4:51 am

    Quoting SleekIcilyVarix:
    Lol...what a dicksmack. So here's a question for you...should I be glad that there are such tactless geniuses out there with a brainless approach making it easier to appreciate a genuine person, or should I be annoyed at them for making the women here looking for more too jaded to care?
Answer to your question: no, hopefully women on here won't get jaded, and that's the point - we don't EXPECT this kinda crap, do we, so it's a huge surprise when we get it...Thanks, Fireslide!

(((squishyboobyhugs)))

Elle


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
5/24/2006 4:52 am

    Quoting mikewv1967:
    Wow, your blog is great. I'm sure you can laugh about it now, but at the time...I bet you were pissed. I know I would have been.

    Unfortunately, this is an example of one of the 10%'ers.

    That is the guy that represents only a very small fraction of the male gender and even we don't want to claim him...

    He is the kind of a$$h0l3 that screws it up for the rest of us as well.

    I am sorry you had that experience and I would be more than happy to chat with you and show you what REAL MAN can do to break the ice with a lady...
mikewv1967: bring towels, cuz when the ice starts melting, ohhhh man...LOL

(((squishyboobyhugs)))

Elle


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
5/24/2006 4:54 am

    Quoting expatbrit49:
    ROFL too funny... so no BJ's on the first IM, is that what Im reading
Umm Expatbrit...maybe after a gift of a Timmy's, though? LOL Nahhhhhh...love your blog babe!

(((squishyboobyhugs)))

Elle


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
5/24/2006 5:00 am

    Quoting CrashnBern:
    it almost makes a girl not want to chat...they read yr profile (maybe all the way) than its instant fuck... uugghh!!
Noooo don't give up CrashnBern!!! It works...it's just the A-holes out there making you feel that way!

(((squishyboobyhugs)))

Elle


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
5/24/2006 5:02 am

    Quoting 1girlrevolution:
    Hey I think I know that guy! It might be the one who asked if he could bust a nut in my pie hole. sheesh. lol

    ~1girl
1girl: "bust a nut in your pie hole?" OHHHHHH wow...that's sooo sweet, so romantic, so f*d in the head!!! LMAO

(((squishyboobyhugs)))

Elle


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
5/24/2006 5:07 am

    Quoting horny4770:
    I was kinda hoping you could break the ice with me that way ... but not with your attitude missy!

    What? No unpaid hookers here? I want a refund, I feel cheated!!!

    Now the real questions are: was there any pudding cup left for you and how did the make-over go?

    btw-burn his ass...he deserves it!
LOL refund, huh? just give me your CC #, and I'll pass on your complaint to the little man behind the counter here at A F F who monitors these types of things...you MIGHT see some $$$ posted to your account soon!

Hey Horny, I STILL have a pudding cup left in the back of my fridge...yes, right there, just reach over, far in the back..uh huh...that's the ticket! Nice ummm wallet holder...

(((squishyboobyhugs)))

Elle


rm_IronTushie 49M
45 posts
5/24/2006 8:48 am

Note to self...anything but BJs as an icebreaker with Ellenback.

Although, I have to ask, would an offer of oral sex for Ellenback work?


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
5/24/2006 4:45 pm

LOL IronTushie!!! Ok it was 4 sentences in...you and I would definitely talk more than that ummmmmm first...

Offer, schmoffer...lay it out on the table....

(((squishyboobyhugs)))

Elle


rm_IronTushie 49M
45 posts
5/25/2006 4:47 am

Really? How much more talking? And does posting on your blog count?

And lay it out on the table? I'm not the one who's going to be laying out on the table.....


runzwithknives 59F

5/25/2006 7:52 pm

Oh so very sad and so very fucking funny. ROFLMAO. I am sorry for jerks like this, hun but this is just so fucking hilarious. Thanks for posting this. Feeling better, huh

shees I'm crying over here....gotta go get some tissues


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
6/12/2006 4:30 pm

Thanks runzwithknives!!! I didn't even see your posting here until way late, and I apologize!!! I'll send you a box of tissues, hon...LOL

(((softboobyhugs)))

Elle


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