Body Armour:  

rm_Ellenback 58F
903 posts
7/3/2006 7:08 am

Last Read:
7/21/2006 4:25 pm

Body Armour:

People-watching should be required teaching in all school systems - the things you instinctively pick up about others, and their values, moods, and behaviours, come easily to most people, but some people have trouble picking up on visual body cues. Just check out the chat rooms on this site: there ARE NO visual cues for men to see, and they seem to think that there are also no rules, so you get the rude, obnoxious and sexually frustrated guys that believe it's okay to just say ANYTHING! Ummm even with a webcam...they just don't get it!
This would be why, sometimes, being coy around a sexy male sometimes doesn't work...pulling on a piece of hair, looking up through your lashes, and the fleeting 'eyebrow flash' have to be noticed, at least on some level, in order to be successful.

I've noticed, from giving massages and just general touching, that many people have pockets of tension built up in specific areas of their body. These almost-untouchable spots cause sensations that are not always welcome. For instance, I once got a powerful massage from a woman (non-sexual, ya pervs!!!) and while I was lying there on the table, she hit one spot on my back, and suddenly I was releasing tears. It hadn't hurt, so why was I crying? Upon noticing my emotions, the masseuse relayed to me that I had obviously tended to store up unreleased anger and grief in that one spot, hence the reaction. That made sense to me.

Now, when I people-watch, I look for the spots that they tend to shield...these could be a tender abdomen, or perhaps one shoulder sits lower than the other. This is what I call 'body armouring' - the tendency to 'baby' certain areas of the body, stockpiling emotions and experiences in a certain area, and physically and visibly reflecting this spot to others as 'untouchable.'

As I sat on the subway, one woman really struck me, reminding me once again of this theory. She was quite overweight, and she sat hunched over herself, not really meeting anyone's eyes. Unfortunately, she was also the alleged mother of 3 almost-identical cute bald-headed little boys who were with her, and, of course, they were just bursting with exuberance and boyish behaviours! God, were they adorable!

She did not speak to them, unless it was to admonish them harshly - in fact, I observed her use an extremely vile tone on one of them, hissing, 'Sit DOWN!' when he had only stood up once, and for a good reason, the entire time. The boy, the oldest one, about 6 years in age, visibly cringed. It was a long trip for them, and I came so close to saying something to her, but I honestly couldn't think of that one PERFECT sentence that would somehow change her feelings, reactions, and their fate, in one empathetic outpouring. I was struggling with it, believe me! I even thought of just giving her a hug and a few whispered words of comfort, but I'd probably have been beat up, or something...

Life must have been horrible to her, or rather, she must feel that she'd been hard done-by (and there IS a difference, you know!)...you could see the anger, bitterness, and overall hatred of herself just oozing out of her cellulite! She made no attempt to appear attractive, and I'm sure she didn't feel it.

But why did life bless her with those little boys? And why couldn't she see them as life's way of changing a poor direction choice for the better?

Something awful, and painful, will eventually come along and force the lesson upon her, if she's not listening to it when life is being gentle to her...

Life's strange that way, isn't it?

I get upset with angry people...truthfully, they scare the crap outta me, but even worse, I dislike angry people who have kids to raise.

I just wanted to scoop those little boys up and give them all a hug - that's just the Mom in me.

Have you ever been forced to realize an essential life lesson, when it smacked you in the head, just because you weren't noticing it previously?

Did it change your path in scary, and yet necessary, and eventually beneficial ways?

Would YOU have said something to her?


Were you raised in an angry household? Did you live in fear that your next word, deed, or misbehaviour would result in an angry flash from your care-givers?

If so, were you able to overcome this and not repeat it with YOUR children?

Do you have 'armour' on your body?



(((softboobyhugs)))

Elle

DRAGONSTATUS: DRAGON IS SADDENED BY THIS STATE OF AFFAIRS, INVISIBLE, UNNOTICED, SHE HANGS IN THE AIR...THERMALS RISE, AND THERMALS FALL, BUT LIFE HAS A WAY OF RIGHTING IT ALL.


rm_mainevern 51M
10197 posts
7/3/2006 8:41 am

Wow, where to start on this one . Actually paying attention to body language is an art that a lot of people don't bother to invest the time to practice. Even in a medium like this, there's always clues even though you can't see the other person. Myself, I think it makes my life easier to do it and since I'm not into causing myself grief......

I do agree that mental/emotional issues can show up in physical ways (just ask me about the effects of constant long term stress ). These things make you feel worse, which just adds to the problem and then you get what you saw because it comes out in inappropriate ways.

I'm not a shrink nor do I play one on TV, just observations from my own personal experience.

I Wanna Pull Purpletrashcan's Fucking Hair!


bustybettyboop 50F  
59325 posts
7/3/2006 9:19 am

where i work i like to people watch and i totally agree with u! there is this woman who comes in to the store that walks hunched over,hair in her eyes,she's very overweight,wears big,baggy clothes ..has no confidence and talks really low making no eye contact...she told me she is single never been married..no surprise there,but i just wanna take her aside and build up her confidence and give her a makeover. something must have happened to her before because she said she hates men.

..just join me on my blog bustybettyboop and still looking for some hot,sexy,creative contestants for my next contest...come join us! need a blog mentor or want to be one?


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
7/3/2006 4:17 pm

    Quoting rm_mainevern:
    Wow, where to start on this one . Actually paying attention to body language is an art that a lot of people don't bother to invest the time to practice. Even in a medium like this, there's always clues even though you can't see the other person. Myself, I think it makes my life easier to do it and since I'm not into causing myself grief......

    I do agree that mental/emotional issues can show up in physical ways (just ask me about the effects of constant long term stress ). These things make you feel worse, which just adds to the problem and then you get what you saw because it comes out in inappropriate ways.

    I'm not a shrink nor do I play one on TV, just observations from my own personal experience.
Mainevern: Nice to meet you! You're right, body language could be, but shouldn't be, a dying art form of interpretation...I used to do security, and was taught how to watch for 'tells' such as when someone is lying, which of course, makes me a mean poker player! LOL

Umm, a sex site is not a good place to ever talk about 'shrinkage'...hehehe

Thanks for stopping by!

(((softboobyhugs)))

Elle


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
7/3/2006 4:20 pm

    Quoting bustybettyboop:
    where i work i like to people watch and i totally agree with u! there is this woman who comes in to the store that walks hunched over,hair in her eyes,she's very overweight,wears big,baggy clothes ..has no confidence and talks really low making no eye contact...she told me she is single never been married..no surprise there,but i just wanna take her aside and build up her confidence and give her a makeover. something must have happened to her before because she said she hates men.
BBB, I was totally going to agree with you, and had my thoughts all blocked out in my brain, and ready to write, and they just flew out the window - the longer I looked at your picture....dang girl, you are one hot momma!!! LOL Just kidding, I won't perv ya, unless ya beg!

I'm sure that if you were offering the make-her-overs, she'd accept, seeing as she hates men, and you're so cute and all, and dang, there I go again...geez, put an ugly pic up, would ya??? hehehe

Thanks for the love girl!

(((softboobyhugs)))

Elle


rm_mainevern 51M
10197 posts
7/3/2006 6:55 pm

"Umm, a sex site is not a good place to ever talk about 'shrinkage'...hehehe"

Contents may settle during shipping? )))

The good news is that that kind of shrinkage can be cured

I Wanna Pull Purpletrashcan's Fucking Hair!


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
7/4/2006 5:22 pm

Mainevern: it's also not a great place to talk about cures...or convex mirrors, as in, "objects in the mirror DEFINITELY ARE smaller than they appear..."

Never settle, hang in there, checking each shipment, till ya get one that's suitably fluffy, relatively undamaged, and has lots of bubble wrap!

(((softboobyhugs)))

Elle


ucome1st4me 46M
8 posts
7/9/2006 6:13 am

That woman needed help, but it's not her I would've been worried about, as it would have been the three children. Knowing myself, I wouldn't have been able to keep my BIG MOUTH shut and I'd have told her something like "Wow, I like the way you're treating your children! And look at how happy and smiling they all are! I'll bet my son wishes he could be treated that way!"
And no, I don't call it being rude or excessively sarcastic, instead I call it free education.

"A kick in the ass is a step forward, unless you're facing the one that kicks you"


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
7/9/2006 10:17 am

Love that ucome1st!!! And, I really think that nickname suits you...LOL
I can hear your voice speaking these exact same words...funny, isn't that? hehehe It just sounds like you! And no, you don't have a big mouth, not for words, anyways...just smart thoughts.

(((softboobyhugs)))

Elle


rm_mainevern 51M
10197 posts
7/9/2006 2:26 pm

    Quoting ucome1st4me:
    That woman needed help, but it's not her I would've been worried about, as it would have been the three children. Knowing myself, I wouldn't have been able to keep my BIG MOUTH shut and I'd have told her something like "Wow, I like the way you're treating your children! And look at how happy and smiling they all are! I'll bet my son wishes he could be treated that way!"
    And no, I don't call it being rude or excessively sarcastic, instead I call it free education.

    "A kick in the ass is a step forward, unless you're facing the one that kicks you"
Which would make it a kick in the nuts? !

I Wanna Pull Purpletrashcan's Fucking Hair!


ucome1st4me 46M
8 posts
7/10/2006 7:45 pm

    Quoting rm_Ellenback:
    Love that ucome1st!!! And, I really think that nickname suits you...LOL
    I can hear your voice speaking these exact same words...funny, isn't that? hehehe It just sounds like you! And no, you don't have a big mouth, not for words, anyways...just smart thoughts.

    (((softboobyhugs)))

    Elle
LOL, Thank you, Elle... that was SWEET... but I have to contradickt you on one point: I do have a big mouth... and it's been getting me into a lot of trouble recently. and the thoughts are not as smart as yours, dear, not by far!


ucome1st4me 46M
8 posts
7/10/2006 7:48 pm

    Quoting rm_mainevern:
    Which would make it a kick in the nuts? !
Absolutely yes, my friend! It's just that sometimes I prefer to choose complicated ways to say simple things and viceversa.

"Things I love saying to my lovers: Give me five minutes and I'll disappoint you twice!"


Prof10001 56M
1424 posts
7/20/2006 7:25 pm

The pages are remarkably funny.

Did you say "Pilot?"

How about CFI or OSH.

Prof


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
7/20/2006 9:39 pm

Hiding down here, huh? LOL

And yes, I did say, Pilot, but you're going to have to explain just what a CFI or OSH is..???

I just adore your writing, btw...although it's confusing at times, when I think about it, I eventually get it!

(((softboobyhugs)))

Elle


Prof10001 56M
1424 posts
7/20/2006 10:26 pm

Just my way of getting down, so to speak.

If you ask what CFI and OSH are then I presume you're not a pilot yourself since those are Certified Flight Instructor and the three letter identifier for Oshkosh, WI where the world's largest airshow and convention begins on Monday next.

If you are only confused about my writing at times you are doing far better than I, but thank you none the less.

Thanks for the hugs as well........lovely images pass through my mind looking at all those parentheses(sp).

Prof


rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
7/21/2006 5:12 am

Well, Prof, I'm not a pilot, have never even been on a plane or up in the air...If you read something about a pilot, it's probably from my webcam posting where I mention that it's one of my 'triggers' and will get my attention! LOL I do, however, know that the airport closest to me is called YKK (ummm could be wrong on that one! hehehe)

(((softboobyhugs))) more visuals

Elle


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