|Blogs > rm_DesireVie > Desire's Life Says It All|
Life is fuuny through other eyes.
Life is fuuny through other eyes.
I was married 22 years legally. From 1979 to 1997 we lived together, only as residents in the same house after 1994. Spearted in 1997, thed divorce was legal in 2001.
I was bored today so I read a ton of blogs and polls by others in my area. I am not really looking for a mate, although if someone gets my eye I would look.
I cant even imagine what my ex would say about what I was like when it came to sex. I know we had it often, very often at the start, and of course not so often later.
I know she did not like it referred to as fucking, that sounds like tenderizing meat. I do know we both enjoyed giving and receiving oral sex as foreplay.
Truthfully, I tremendously enjoyed receiving oral pleasure, but I can still state to this day I enjoyed giving it more. I could feel her get warmer, her nipples and clitoris enlarging or changing, her legs and body would move a lot during climax. I did not need to be told it happened, I could tell. I also knew i had a short fuse and would explode quite quickly, so I knew I had to do a lot for her to be satisfied before I was satisfied, or I stopped. I had zero ability to recoup quickly.
One blog I read today I laughed my ass off, The top 40 ways men fail in bed... My god, it is hilarious and true. Until I figure out how to do this right, here is the user. GO find her, read her blogs.
I would like to think most of, it not nearly all 40 of those I did not do. Maybe she thinks I did all 40, who knows, but I am close.
The end of my marriage was really ugly. The aftermath still continues, albeit vry little now that the kids are gone from the nest.
I have not had an intimate relationship that includes sex since probably 1994. I have not even kissed a girl since then, held hands since then. There have been some hugs, but none of the kind I long for. I have not attempted to rectify the loss as my head is not on straight enough to give the other partner the devotion I know they need, even if they don't know it themselves.
I am close to that point where I am going to look for a relationship again. I know I am transgendered. That is going to be a huge hurdle to clear when I begin the search for the woman of my dreams again. It appears she might have to be older, mature, past the child stage, maybe past the marriage stage, as I will NEVER repeat that. She may also need to be the kind who is only looking for what I am looking for. Hugs, holding hands, kissing, sharing, laughing, and a shoulder to lean on when the times get tough. If sex once again happens, its a bonus but not the focus of the relationship.
Maybe there is still a lot of male in me, or maybe its maturity, but I wish to find that special one I can place on a pedestal and treat like fine art, treat as if she didnt exist, neither would I. I should have done that for my ex, but not beginning that way, it couldnt be had later. Males eeem to want to be worshipped as without them, and what they bring ot the relationship, you know what I mean, that no one could exist. That is not what I want. I want my partner to know they mean the most to me that is possible, not just that earlier piece of meat i referred to.
Any how, this is what is in my head now. Thanks for reading.