Letting GO  

rm_DarknStar 54F
3006 posts
6/17/2006 9:34 am

Last Read:
6/18/2006 4:38 am

Letting GO

Big cheesy grin, I HAD one HELL of a Night Last night. OMG

Now trying to get a grip on things in my life. But still theres the Mood, thoughts, and the after glow of last night. WOW I real HAD a GREAT time last night!

So with that on my mind, and sittin here chillin. I sit and also remember what yesterday was like for Me. In my thoughts......were for a guy I had meet through this website, alittle over a year ago, and yesterday was his 50th Birthday.

I was the fool to show him I really cared about him and in his own Specail Way, I Loved Him. He closed the door, that was betweens us. Its been alittle over 9 months since we last spoke.

Just sittin here realizing, I WILL NEVER KNOW.

Hes gone, poof. SO everything WE shared and everything WE done together. Every phone call and later night chats are gone. Like we never meet, we never touched, I meant nothing, I was just there for his needs, for him to dump on.

I have to admit to myself THAT I will NEVER hear from him again. That yesterday on his birthday. I left him an offline: Happy 50 Bithday *****

At that moment, to myself I said Good Bye! Good bye to a friend, may you always find the happiness YOU deserve in the life you live. I love You............emptyness set in and tears rolled down my face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I still sit here, my mind going every which way. I have SO much on my mind Im tired. Im tired of this dating game, I play on the flip side of this website.

I have started to narrow my list down on my messenger. Deleteing peeps that do nothing for me.

Im Married and I have a *FB* that I CANT walk away from, at the moment!

I have one that I talk to on the phone, he is so night and day to ME. That his SO everything, I keep callin him and he keeps talking to ME. (I have met him once) ......

I also have a late night chatter, that leaves me wet before I go to bed, We really want to meet eachother, BUT we dont want to mess UP this space thing we HAVE. So for now with us both being married, and hes the only married one I have on my list. We'll keep it space friends for NOW!

Everybody else that walks into my life through the FLIP SIDE of this website, usually gets a quick reply, but then again, sometimes just a couple of days of talking. I END IT!

Im tired! I dont want to start up something NEW, at this time. Im trying to focus on WHAT I HAVE on my Plate, and For right NOW Im satisfied with what I have.

There reachable, I can get to them by drive or phone call.Im Happy! BUT In some ways Miserable. I just keep holding out that maybe, just maybe, *FB* or the late night phone caller, would says What I want to HEAR.

Until then Im holding out! There better be something *THAT* just knocks my socks OFF , to make me break this wall down.........for now!

THX for the time to rant and spill! Get alittle off my chest!




timberwolf6972 44M

6/17/2006 3:43 pm

I hope that your luck gets better soon sweetie. I've been kinda lonely here lately and it's kinda got me down but I'm sure that I'll survive. Come check my blog out. It might cheer you up! {=}


rm_cru1972 44M
4407 posts
6/17/2006 3:51 pm

Refering to the top of the post at least you have the memories of that

and that's just what we are here for. To help people get things off their chest.


firestarter665 42M/39F

6/17/2006 6:18 pm

" also have a late night chatter, that leaves me wet before I go to bed, We really want to meet eachother, BUT we dont want to mess UP this space thing we HAVE. So for now with us both being married, and hes the only married one I have on my list. We'll keep it space friends for NOW!"

I know that you have been hurt in the past, but this is just all part of life. You have the fond memories of your past relationship, but you still need to take chances. I know the fear of getting hurt is a great one, but it only makes us human to be afraid sometimes.

It sounded to me like you made some sense out of all this just by writing it down. You know I luv ya and only wish good things for you.


justmelooking659 58M

6/17/2006 6:44 pm

I wish I could help, But you said NO, but you know where I am at. And you know what I am all about.


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