Jealousy  

rm_Cryomancer 42M
0 posts
8/28/2005 10:42 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Jealousy


See, I don't get jealousy. Jealousy is a very evil, insidious emotion that should be squashed whenever it rears its head.

I don't consider myself to be some enlightened person, some grizzled old swami in a turbin on top of a mountain, meditating on human emotions. That being said, my wife and I have a particular view on jealousy.

First of all, what is jealousy? From our experience and view, jealousy stems from two distinct things: threats to losing access to affection, and perceived "sharing" of affection.

In the first case, my wife is never going to lose my affection. We have been together for many years, we have a life together, and children. We have shared responsibilities and goals. I am not about to throw that all away and start over from scratch. My wife is also well aware of both her dependance upon me, and my dependance upon her. That strength keeps us from feeling like we are going to lose the other.

The second, sharing of affection, is a miserable, petty, pointless artifact of our current society. "Til death do you part..." We're only supposed to ever love ONE person, and in order to love them, you have to give EVERYTHING, ALL of your love that one person alone.

Bullshit.

The amount of "love" a person can express is limitless. It is completely possible to be utterly in love with two people at the same time: I can personally assure you of that. Plus, being loved by more than one person is also a wonderful experience.

That being said, not everyone is suited to find one "love of their life", let alone two. So, you meet a new person. This person is interesting, funny, charismatic, but there is no chemestry. So, you move on. Was that relationship a "failure"? Well, since our society is so socially retarded that it insists on having only one man and one woman be together at any one time, any breakup is hard. But, if you currently have two or even three other people in your life, the risk of being left alone is greatly reduced. If the risk is reduced, then you are free to "experiment" more. Date people that on the surface may not be "your type."

Every relationship that you have, good and bad, adds to your life's experience. When it comes down to it, that is what makes your life "your life." Having more than one lover at a time, in an open, honest fashion, is rewarding and liberating.

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