Coffee Soliloquy -Mills from ATL, GA  

rm_Cocokins 49F
29 posts
10/16/2005 2:11 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Coffee Soliloquy -Mills from ATL, GA


Never let it be said that Starbuck's ain't interesting
Amongst lattes and grandes and mocha decaf's, things are happening! Now I don't drink coffee no matter now much shit you put in it. I think it reeks but I found myself thirsty for a bottled water and the toss was between Pavillion's and Starbuck's. Pavilion's lot looked jammed and at least Starbuck's had a few tables open, I could read a bit before my next appointment.
After being forced to taste a sample of some really dry coffee cake and shocking the barista by asking for a water, I turned to find that suddenly all the tables were taken. Aw hell! Whatever, I'm fairly social, I asked a guy with a laptop if I could share his table. He pulled his computer closer and said sure ... I could tell he was not gonna chat me up. Cool! So wrong was I.
30 minutes later, his laptop was on my lap and crumbs of a coffee cake rested between us. His name was Mills. Mills from Atlanta GA. Mills was trying to compose a Dear John letter to his SO, a Sergeant based in Iraq. He asked me how to spell soliloquy . Then asked if it would be appropriate to use it in this context..

I wanted so many times to tell you of my true and deepest pain, however I did not want to have a soliloquy..
Well I could not let that slip by, true and deepest pain.
I was never sure if the context was right but in Starbuck's that afternoon I was reminded that living in America in the year 2005 are many people who are not allowed to fall in love and get married. These people are so incredibly strained just trying to do the regular old stuff.
Mills told me that he was breaking up with his long time love in the military because his SO was moving up in rank and planned to become part of a branch of the military that would require an extensive background check.
He felt it best to do so as his discovery would put a halt to any upward mobility his loved one might have.
They have been together for 14 years, since the first day of 10th grade, when his future love had knocked him down running to his homeroom.
They both had come out over the summer and both had never kissed another boy before.
Mills laughed when he told me he had fallen literally for his SO's pumas, his simple white and black pumas running away from the scene. They had turned half way as if to come back took 2 steps and then turned towards homeroom and took off.
That was the nature of their love, Mills told me over a green tea and a almond scone. 2 steps back, lots forward, he laughed. He runs to me and from me, Mills said with a sigh.

We sat for hours there composing the letter to end this love of so many years. I said to Mills that I bet it printed out to 10 plus pages!
Mills replied that it should be a book, a very long, heavy, well written book.
I nodded as he launched into the story about how he found out his SO was called up for service. They had been dancing at Revolver, a notorious gay bar right in the middle of boystown West Hollywood. Aretha was wailing about Dr. Feelgood and in the middle of a little bump and grind, his love whispered it to him.
That was 3 years ago. He knew then he would have to leave him, but he had dragged it out all this time, he gave himself deadlines and let them all pass.
Now he had to let go, he had no more time.

We punched our numbers in to each other's cell phones and promised to meet for dinner one night soon. He said afterall he was going to be single again so he had to get back out there. Learn to be gay and single in the land of boys. Mills had never dated, he went from hello to love.

I am seeing Mills for coffee and a water tomorrow, possibly a scone.

rm_Cocokins 49F

10/17/2005 9:04 pm

I know, what if..lots of them!
Thank you Big Girl.. He is an amazing, loving man! I am hoping he feels comfortable about dating again, he is very old fashioned and still very much broken hearted but such a catch for some guy..wow~


AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
10/18/2005 10:39 pm

wow...I am continuously impressed by your writing style. looks like you made a friend. I know that in the military, if two people are dating, then one becomes an officer while the other remains enlisted, they are not supposed to date anymore no matter how long they have been together and no matter how much in love they are. Bureaucrats!
Here in Seattle, its the land of Starbucks. I'd be happy to run into you at any Starbucks. I'd even buy you a water...not a coffee.
In spite of my looks and my writing, I won't bite...but if you're still happier watching me from a distance, then...so be it. I'll settle for that. Take care.


rm_Cocokins 49F

10/23/2005 10:46 pm

You flatter me!


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