If these dont make you laugh, you've got a problem  

rm_ChesterPussy
61 posts
7/14/2006 4:33 pm

Last Read:
3/6/2007 2:44 pm

If these dont make you laugh, you've got a problem


"Aircraft Maintenance"

Aircraft Maintenance Problems and Solutions

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged Maintenance complaints and problems, known as "Squawks," submitted by QUANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way Qantas Is the only major airline that has never had an accident

P = the problem logged by the pilot.

S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.



P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto land very rough.
S: Auto land not installed on this aircraft.

P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4
Propellers lack normal seepage.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm Descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be Serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

papyrina 50F
21133 posts
7/14/2006 4:58 pm

thankyou i enjoyed those


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


timberwolf6972 44M

7/14/2006 5:07 pm

Hello neighbor! I like those, they are very funny! Come check my blog out sometime. {=}


friendfinding05 43M
1 post
7/14/2006 6:04 pm

The redneck stuff is pretty common but this one was unique enough to make me laugh out loud a couple times. Thanks, I needed that!
Take care.


imafunnybugger 45M

8/14/2006 7:11 pm

Very good, yet another enjoyable blog from you. See, thats because it's QANTAS and us Aussies know how to have a laugh! Just finished your doggie BBQ story too. I look forward to the next one.


rm_MYBLUEYESONU 60M

11/9/2006 6:41 pm

GREAT HUMOR. AVIONIC TECHS AND ENGINEERS ARE MASTERS AT MANIPULATING THE LANGUAGE OF STATED COMPLAINTS AND PROVIDING HUMOROUS RESPONSES. ENJOYED YOUR BLOG.


MightyMayo 45M

11/13/2006 10:51 am

I've seen this thing done in a motorcycle version which leads me to think that neither are authentic. What do I know though? I have trouble tying my own shoes and I just recently starting wiping my own ass.
That's not true.....I can tie my shoes just fine.


jockey212 49M  
93 posts
12/29/2006 2:51 am

Laugh out loud funny! I'd seen something similar. It was supposedly a transcript of a radio communication between an aircraft carrier and a lighthouse. :_)


rm_1980dude3 50M
2 posts
1/12/2007 6:44 am

I was in the USAF for many years and yes, I enjoyed reading these. They brought back memoriesof a good time in my life. Folfs in the aviation world have a good sense of humor.


ReactRadiiSlits 46M

3/4/2007 12:14 pm

Very , very funny stuff


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