How To Tell If You Are Cheating Or Not  

rm_Catgirl_Meow 43F
12 posts
12/23/2005 10:28 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

How To Tell If You Are Cheating Or Not

1. You can squeeze fake breasts b/c they are not actually real, so you're not cheating.
2. If you don't remember their name it doesn't count.
3. If you don't call them afterward it doesn't count.
4. Blow jobs don't count - they're like handshakes and autographs.
5. If you cuddle, you're cheating.
6. If you are in a time zone that is ahead of the time zone your girlfriend/boyfriend is in, use the following equation to determine whether or not you've cheated: Let X be the time difference bet the two countries and let Y be the number of hours that have elapsed since you slept with another person. If you talk to your gf/bf and Y is less than X, then you haven't cheated b/c it hasn't happened yet. If Y is greater than X, you cheated.
7. If you are in Euorpe, Canada, South America or Japan, your marriage license is not valid. So you can sleep with anyone you want.
8. If you fuck someone the night before seeing your bf/gf, it's okay b/c it's just practice to make sure you don't prematurely ejaculate with your gf/bf.
9. If it was part of a public performance, it doesn't count.
10. If you're doing it to help your career, ti doesn't count. But if she thinks you can help her career, then you're cheating.
11. If you remember the name of a girl that someone else had a one-night stand with, then you cheated because you thought about it more than the person who got laid did. If you don't have a gf, this just makes you desperate and counts as one cheat against your future girlfriend.
12. If it's someone's birthday, it doesn't count (especially if it's your own).
13. If the girl has a tattoo with your name on it, then it's just common courtesy to have sex with her.
14. If you have anal sex with someone else it doesnt count b/c it's not coitus.
15. If she has the same name as your gf, it's not cheating - or the first letter of her name is the same. If neither of these apply, spritz her with your gf;s favorite scent before having sex and you're all right.
16. If you tell them you respect them in the morning and mean it, you're gay.

redmustang91 57M  
8662 posts
12/23/2005 10:49 am

So cynical and so correct. Variety is the need, and cheating is the vehicle...

MyRealLoverOne 46M

12/23/2005 10:53 am


Thank you for sharing! I feel much better about myself now.

Real Lover

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