County Fair  

rm_Catgirl_Meow 43F
12 posts
12/23/2005 11:02 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

County Fair

So your son won the prize for tomatoes at the state fair.... Congratulations!!!

I was at the fair too, you'll remember. We passed each other, then stopped and chatted for awhile, on the rail near the REV-O-LUTION ride. I was carrying two small grocery bags, and you asked me what was in them.

I told you one was a bag of nazerine-worms, and the other was a bag of fat caterpillars. You laughed and joked that the two bags were probably full of liquor. Then you said you were late, that you had to go, and we both walked away in separate directions.

Can I pose a question for you now?: What would you say if I told you I was telling the truth about the grocery bag - that one WAS full of nazerine worms and the other full of caterpillars.

And I was on my way to the Vegetable exhibit, on the other end of the stadium. And that I fully intended to drop the worms on the vegetables of your son's competitors.

Maybe he would have won anyway, but we couldn't take any chances. Because I don't take any chances when it comes to looking out for you and your boy's well being. And I don't make mistakes.

I was also the one in the crowd with the hand held mirror, which I held at an angle against the sun, in order to shine the light on your son's tomato and make it look brighter, redder, and healthier than any of the other tomatoes. Its the oldest trick in teh book, of course, but for some reason, no one ever suspected a thing.

At night, for months, I would sneak my little dog into your yard and have him defecate in the garden, so as to give the tomatoes extra vitamins. On weekends, I would remove a bottle from my jacket pocket, and anoint the plants with a special mixture of Miracle Grow plus several other chemicals of my own invention.

And now you knwo, now you see. Are you surprised? Surprised that it's ..... me? I've been there all along, you know, from beginning to end, and you HAVE to believe me when I say I'm enjoying this moment as much as you now, ...... perhaps even more so.

Until the next crop!

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