When did you change your mind?  

UnlitMaserSaxon 54M/52F
50 posts
7/31/2005 10:48 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

When did you change your mind?


Most people on this site have age preferences. 20-year-olds are looking for 20-year-olds and so are most 60-year-olds. At least, that's the stereotype. But when you actually look at it, most 50 and 60-year-olds are looking for people at least 40.

This suggests to me that younger people are looking for physical traits, and older people are looking for mental traits. Or maybe we should just say "life experience". I guess the older you get, the more difficult it is to feel a connection to somebody who doesn't remember Armstrong's moon landing or even the explosion of the Challenger. They just make you feel old.

So, somewhere in between 20 and 60, your values start to shift - at least in the department of what makes other people attractive. When did that happen for you? Did it happen? I guess if you're into the quick, physical encounter, life experience (as opposed to bedroom experience) doesn't figure in the equation too much.

But if you're looking for some kind of friendship or social relationship, it must matter more. Does it? If so, does it matter more, less or the same as physical attraction? Have your attitudes about this shifted as you've aged, or have you always been the same?

UnlitMaserSaxon 54M/52F
15 posts
7/31/2005 10:52 am

Oh. I should mention that I think my own attitudes changed at about 35. Being male, my eye still wanders based on physical traits, but I don't find myself warming up to women just because they look good. That doesn't happen until I get a spark of sympatico in the conversational department.


demonicsexkitten 41F
10671 posts
7/31/2005 1:51 pm

I remember making jokes in high school with my friend that we would have to marry a 60 yr old to get the mental competence and maturity we found attractive. so i think my tastes haven't changed all that much. no: i'm not physically attracted to most 60 yr olds but i've spent most of my life attracted to somewhat older men. looks are nice, but it's that 'inner spark' that attracts me more than anything, and always has.


tolongtolong90 59
9 posts
7/31/2005 1:53 pm

Remember very well, age doesn't exist, even time doesn't exist, it is always your person that's count.Why I have always a party each weekend at my home.I am 48 years old and my wife is 40 years old, mostly of the time we have real good sex with people between 25 and 35 years old. Love
eachother that is the mision and the vision.


hourglasses 47F

7/31/2005 2:18 pm

I think also its a bit of realism. I know to the majority of 20 yr olds, a 36 yr old woman like me, is just not attractive so why waste my time going after 20 yr olds. I suppose I do look more for 'mental traits'. But whether that happens with a 20 yr old or 40 yr old makes no difference to me.


hot_dirty_blonde 53F
6 posts
7/31/2005 11:53 pm

Imo, a 60 year old man looks for a 40 something because that's what he hopes he can get, he knows unless he's rich like The Donald that it's very unlikely that a woman in her 20s or 30s is going to give him the time of day. I think most older women don't really want a really young guy (20s) because they either don't like the idea of dating someone their kid's age or don't want to baby sit, etc. I have found a couple of young men that age that seemed interesting but they are few & far between. I'm not interested in men older than me because my soon to be ex hubby was 10 years older and we were in 2 different worlds but it wasn't apparent at the beginning. So I would want someone my age or younger, as young as 30 or 35. My new lover is only 1 year younger than me & I do really like that we are in the same head space.


RueElph 51F
5 posts
8/5/2005 2:56 pm

From early womanhood, women have usually been attracted to older men because, let's face it, for 14 or 15 year old women, most 15-year old "men" are still boys. I have friends who are with 30-year old boys (think Fight Club.) I think most women continue to look to men older than them, whereas men are more likely to look for younger women to see if they can score.

I find this interesting, as we've relatively recently come up with a few terms in our culture to describe older women looking for younger men -- cougars, and MILTFs. I don't think we have similar terms for men, as looking for younger women is more the norm for them.

For me, I think I'm most comfortable with people fairly close to my age, but I haven't had a whole lot of time to test this out just yet. But I'm working on that.

And as we all get older,


RueElph 51F
5 posts
8/7/2005 7:45 am

From early womanhood, women have usually been attracted to older men because, let's face it, for 14 or 15 year old women, most 15-year old "men" are still boys. I have friends who are with 30-year old boys (think Fight Club.) I think most women continue to look to men older than them, whereas men are more likely to look for younger women to see if they can score.

I find this interesting, as we've relatively recently come up with a few terms in our culture to describe older women looking for younger men -- cougars, and MILFs. I don't think we have similar terms for men, as looking for younger women is more the norm for them.

For me, I think I'm most comfortable with people fairly close to my own age, although I haven't had a whole lot of time to test this out just yet. But I'm working on that.


Lover_and_Lady 42M/46F
25 posts
9/13/2005 7:40 pm

I have a very eclectic view of what I find attractive in a person physically and mentally... I like the spark, but I like their respect for my intelligence more! and sometimes that just comes from maturity... I suppose women are more prone to older men because they've got enough experience to realize that women need to be taken seriously in many aspects of 'them' their choices, values, opinions, and intelligence. too many younger men start out with the stereotyped image of what the 'head of the house' is suppose to do. And that isn't where it is at anymore... 50's household is null and void, not that it ever really existed in the first place...

lover is 3 years younger, and although we are similar in age, I'm also very attracted to men 10 times younger than I am... *in the geek world men take women a bit more seriously.*

There is this european country where whena woman reaches 40 she is in her prime. Her husband AND her lover are both invited along when she is a dinnerguest. It is rude not to invite both, Lover sits on one side, husband on the other. *its also rude to have more than one lover at a time, publicly that is...* Lovers of course are but younger men, and not likely to be lifetime lovers, but a few years worth before marrying themselves... But in this society it is the older women that are sought after revered and practically worshipped... I just cant remember the name of the country...

I think this little tidbit is listed in the book 'the grand tour'...

btw... terms: Dirty Old Man
sugar daddy
easy money

lady


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