Thanks for the fuck. Hi, my name is Dave.  

UnlitMaserSaxon 54M/52F
50 posts
1/4/2006 11:14 pm

Last Read:
8/31/2009 7:58 pm

Thanks for the fuck. Hi, my name is Dave.


Wow, over two months since the last post. Got busy there for a while and fell out of the habit. Well, it's never too late for a contentious opinion....

We've spent about six months now looking over AdultFriendFinder and the general lifestyle situation. It appears that there are almost as many ways to approach this life as there are couples approaching it. The title of this entry is one of the attitudes we've seen (and heard) expressed by some of our dinner or drinks companions. For some, it appears that swinging is about volume. The more names on your bedpost, the better. But that's not us.

Others seem to be, not so much volume shoppers, but maybe, habitual shoppers. Always on the lookout for another good deal or a better deal. We know a woman who used to say that she'd accept a date with just about any guy - at least, a first date - because you couldn't possibly know much about a person based on the face they present in the everyday world. You had to meet on more intimate terms to find out about the real person. So some swingers are like that: always willing to give folks the benefit of the doubt and meet casually to see where it might lead. That's not us either.

When we shop, we do our homework. We decide what it is we're looking for. Then we look around to see what is available and whether any of that comes close to our list. We're always happy to discover something that isn't on our list, and we aren't slavish to our wish list either, but we know what we want and we don't mind waiting until we find something along those lines. We're patient, buy-once kind of shoppers.

See, we went through our "casual sex" period when we were younger and both single. The fact that there might be 3 or 4 or 9 new-to-us cocks/pussies in the bed isn't what turns us on now.

We're interested in exploring how a more liberal sexual attitude might enhance a decent adult friendship between two couples. We like to think that coming home from a great night of dinner and drinks at the jazz club might be even better if you got to take the other spouse to bed afterwards. Talk about a fun way to end a fabulous night.

So, for us anyway, we want to find people that we'd enjoy spending that night out with. And maybe even do the dinner and drinks thing three or four times before it came together. When it does feel right, we'll all know it and it will just happen. No rush. No pressure. But having that possibility in the air each time would just add to the anticipation and the fun.

Of course, it's also possible that we'll be making excuses to leave the club early on the very first night so that we can all go home and fuck like weasles. The point is that, from our perspective, this relaxed and tantalizing pace is where the juice is. It's the anticipation, maybe even some teasing. In fact, very like a lot of teasing, but we aren't in a hurry to get to the sweaty part. We're just looking for some fun people to enjoy this experience with, and hopefully, to explore lots of different aspects of a more liberal attitude as the relationship matures.

We don't know if other couples feel that way, but if you do, let us know. We know this jazz club...

Chrysaor_Erato 59M/56F

1/6/2006 3:45 am

Am interesting take on all of this. We are just starting out at this and have not met a lot of other couples so far.
When we see people that say they know what they wantand like to do with a couple, we have to say we are litte envious, if not a little sceptical. We have found that just from our on line and a few coffees and lunches what we are looking for seems to be a bit of a moving target. What we mean by that is that most of the time when we are learning something about another couple we are learning almost as much about our selves.
We don't think it is about finding that perfect couple that fits a predetermind list of features. Nor is it about changing your list just to fit whom you think is available. For us it is about finding some good people that have potentual. We would hate to miss out on the best beef that was ever cooked , just because we had decided we were only into were only into see food. For us we are finding that being able to enjoy and appreciate what a couple has to bring to the table is key. That is not to say we are looking for just anyone.I would put it we are looking more for quaility raw material than we are looking for a perfect finished product.
When we find a couple that we think we would like to take our friendship to another level, we will do so. The one thing we know is that the relation ship will always be in a bit of a state of flux. The day it stops changing and growing and fits a static set and criterion is the day we will be bored with it. After all that is the most common thread we have found with couples on this site is that people are looking to grow the relation ship they all ready have with there partner. If you end up in another static relationship , even with the perfect couple that you are very good friends with,we don't think it will make much differnance. It will just mean there are four people looking for externail stimulus for an relation ship instead of two.
And just so you know we don't like to get too serious, if any of this ever turns out to be true just remember you hear it here fist.


UnlitMaserSaxon 54M/52F
15 posts
1/10/2006 9:11 pm

When I say "we know what we want", I should probably say "we know what we want right now". Since we're still looking for a first actual "encounter", we have no idea what we'll be looking for next month. Or next year. Maybe we'll hate it all and decide we're just looking for opera-buddies. Or maybe we'll have so much fun we'll decide to enter the "couple of the month" club. That's the funny thing about human beings: they are so damned fickle.


saddletrampsk 54F

1/12/2006 6:58 am

Hope you find what you are looking for..


notmyrealuncle 54M/45F
3 posts
1/24/2006 1:29 am

I totally agree with you. I think that if we'd found the perfect woman we'd be both blown away. The difficulty is finding the woman who is experimenting in life like we are....We decided that we'd like to add some SPICE to our sexlife. We thought we'd try another female -that female turned out to be my best friend (girl of the couple speaking now) Sure she was great, but we needed variety and didn't know how to go about finding it. We still don't. But - I do know that we'd like to have some type of relationship before we'd even consider sleeping with a complete stranger. We're not stupid - - I think we'd prefer to be called 'selective' as well.


rm_switch19592 57M

1/31/2006 7:37 am

My partner and I have discussed other partners many times but often only in bed. She gets really turned on when we talk about others sharing pleasures with us both. Outside of the bedroom she loses interest. We are definitely interested in making new friends and I believe that if we were to find the right people that we could bring a fantasy to reality. I am the adventurous one and she always enjoys the surprises that I bring home(although it did take learning how to listen to what she wants and needs!)Tough job for a male,eh! Some of us are trainable. LOL Oh yeah, we also like jazz. My profile says what i want: to make friends with people who can help me bring my partner into the world of shared pleasures ! Have a great day swingers!!!


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