The checklist  

21 posts
12/12/2005 8:30 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The checklist

I have never been good at attracting women.
One day I go to the local watering hole for a few pops.

Across the bar I spy a nice looking lady she smiles at me..

Panic sets in..
I resort to the checklist.

1. Have I said somethng stupid or funny.
No. check.

2. Is my fly down?
No. check.

3. Have I done,said or acted really stupid(happens to me more often than not)?
No. check.

4. Am I dreaming?
No. check.

5. Are my shoes on the right feet?
Yes. Check.

She walks over. My palms start to sweat. I stand strait,suck in gut,run fingers thru hair.

I look around to make sure she is not looking at someone else.

No-one near. Mouth is dry. I ponder what to say and hope my breath is not bad.
I get out the gum and chew hard and fast.

She says "hello stranger".

I proceede to choke on my gum. "gaak urp ugg" I say..

Fully expecting the usual disgusted look and slap I am suprised.

"No need to speak"she says..
"choke gaaak urfff cough" I say.

"You are cute"she says. I blush(or maybe it is the dry heave's)

Finally I get control and I ask her to dance.

"sure"she says.

We get on the dance floor. I feel awkward at first but I get into it.

A slow song come on and we are close. Our eyes meet. My heart pounds in my chest.

After the song she says she is going to the bathroom and that I should find a booth.

I wait, and wait, and wait, finally I decide to order a drink. I reach in my pocket only to find my bill fold gone..

Next time I am putting my money in my shoe...

almosthere312 37F
2 posts
12/12/2005 9:41 pm

Ouch. It happens to the best of us, though.

Become a member to create a blog