Wondering if....  

rm_BILonelyMM 48M
4 posts
8/19/2006 10:27 pm

Last Read:
8/28/2006 7:13 pm

Wondering if....

anyone is watching. You know, it's kind of interesting to put a blog out there, tell complete strangers what you're thinking, feeling, and then to not know if people care, if they read it, if they are put off by it, if they ignore it.

Is it a comfort thing? It's always been there, it will always be there, so I'm not worried about it... Is it a self-centered thing? It's not me, and it doesn't affect me, so therefore it's not important.

In my case, most blogs fall into the second category. I have a hectic life (doesn't everyone...) but I am so focused on trying to get through the day, that I have little time to dedicate to reading about other's issues -- much less trying to solve them. I would like to think that I am a kind and generous person, and I think all things considered I am - at heart. But actions rarely follow the thought. Not near enough for me, anyhow.

So then how can I expect others to respond to my ramblings? Yes - we all generally have something in common - we are all interested in finding a new sexual experience. But does that make you committed to reading about me, learning about me, knowing me? Am I obligated to find out why you are seeking a new sexual experience, should I care about what your relationships are like? Or should I just be concerned that you're drug and disease free, and that's about it?

And is this not the condition of the world today? Okay, maybe I am not "worldly" enough to know that. But is this not the American culture today? Me first - and then if there's time I'll see what I can do for you....

I'm looking for someone to share sexual experiences, yet somehow I want to remain detached - uncommitted from a relationship standpoint. While many guys are looking for this, few women seem to be. Is my marriage any different? I want to be married to my wife, but we are totally detached sexually. Not sure how that works...

Anyway, if you've read this far, I am thankful. I can't promise I'll have read your blog, or that I will read your blog, but for some reason our paths crossed here, at this point in time. For some reason. Think about it, look inside and find the answer to the question "why?"


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