TRUTH or I DARE Ya  

rm_B0SSIERBOY 57M
360 posts
12/31/2005 10:10 pm

Last Read:
5/27/2008 11:15 pm

TRUTH or I DARE Ya


I should warn you beforehand this post is quite long.

There has been a great deal of discussion about whether or not you should be truthful in your profile when it comes to meeting women and especially when it comes to getting laid. I have always said that you can't be totally honest because women don't respond well to it. Maybe I should have said that it depends on what you choose to be honest about. To test my theory I posted two profiles on the same dating site. During the month since Profile 1 has gotten NO unsolicited responses at all. Profile 2 has gotter 5 unsolicited responses. Both are true with the exception that the age I posted in profile 2 is younger than my actual age. I think this proves my hypothesis. So, ladies what do you think? Which profile is more attractive to you and why?

Profile 1
Ethnicity Caucasian
Sign Leo
Height 6' 0" (183 cm)
Age 45
Gender Man
Body Type A Few Extra Pounds
Religion Other Religion
Hair Color Blond
Do you smoke? No
Do you drink? Socially
Marital Status Dating
Profession Geek & Film Producer
Do you want children? Undecided/Open
Do you do drugs? No
Do you have children? Yes

Well I see a lot of women asking for "HONESTY," I just wonder if you can really handle the truth. I guess we'll see.

It's been about a month and I appreciate all the messages but I just can't answer every one. If you really want a response include a "personal" photo and tell me what you would like to do when we meet.

I just want to make this clear, just beacuse you have a history doesn't mean there is baggage, or that there has to be drama. EVERYONE has history, it's how you handle the situations in your life that make you sane or crazy. While I do have a history I handle all the situations in my life with dignity, respect for others, and compassion. You should also handle your interactions with integrity, poise, and grace.

I recognize that you may still be in a relationship and just looking around. As the headline suggests I also have less than perfect situations that I have to deal with, not the least of which are an ex-girlfriend and the children that we share. One of the biggest reasons we are no longer dating, or mating, is her lack of respect for my choices about lifestyle. If you are in a similar situation I completely understand and can be discrete.

The specific issue I've dealt with for the last 15 years is that I have been fighting a constant battle to control my weight. When I was in beauty school the owner took me aside and gave me some sound advice, "Lose some weight or you'll never make it in this business." I worked hard at it and managed to drop 110 pounds. FYI - I weigh about 200 now so at 6' I carry it pretty well.

That was a long hard 2 years of dieting and exercise. I kept the weight off for 10 years but some of it has gradually crept back on; primarilly bacause my partner refuses to honor my wishes about the type of food I keep in the house. She is constantly buying junk food, cooking fattening greasy meat and heavy sauces, making cakes and cookies, things that I was able to avoid when I lived by myself (if it would put on lbs I just didn't bring it home). I am actively seeking a change in my lifestyle and someone to support me in healthy choices for the future. If you are looking for a change I can completely understand.

In the past I would have just walked out, left everything for the girl, and moved on. Here's the rub, I'm not interested in giving up my relationship with my kids just to have her completely out of my life. If you have children I know you will understand this. I respect your relationship with your children and realize that there is likely to be another man in your life too. I would never do anything to jepordiae your relationship with your kids or your situation with an ex.

I have a small web hosting business that generates a fair income but not enough to support me and my children without the assistance of my former girlfriend. However, business is getting better, internet sales this Chirstmas were over $10,000 and I expect that trend to continue. If you have ever run your own business I'm sure you understand how this works.

My girlfriend and I currently sharing living quarters, some bills, and care of the kids, but beyond that we don't have much to talk about, sleep in seperate parts of the house, and never have sex. I'm okay with that because I think my kids deserve to have their father around full time rather than occassionally.

I know she dislikes the situation as much as I do, but we've both agreed that for the moment this is how things are and we are going to make the best of it. She relys on me to help take care of the kids because she couldn't afford to keep them in day care on her own, and I rely on her for medical insurance for the kids. So you see we have a mutually dependent arrangement that leaves both of us with a less than perfect situation, but it does work for the most part. Insecure women seem to be a bit put off by the arrangement but most confident women seem to understand and are willing to work with the situation long enough to see if there is mutual interest.

Neither of us feels possessive of the other at this point but we just don't want to create an ugly situation for the kids. She goes out when she wants, with who she wants, and so do I. It's been a LONG time since I had a partner in the bedroom so you should look forward to getting sexually acquainted pretty early on. Not that we have to engage in intercourse but if there is chemistry, there will be heavy petting and lots of fooling around pretty early on. I need to determine if we click in this very important, and neglected, area of my life and I'm sure that sexual compatability is equally important to you.

If my business would support both me and my kids I would happilly allow them to live with me alone, but the truth is I think they deserve to have their mother around. That's why we have come to the agreement that we have. Even if the business generated a consistent income stream, it would take a pretty incredible woman and an amazing situation to change my kids living arrangements. But, if you're ready to play mommy to three wonderful kids and be positive and supportive of their relationship with their mother, we just might be meant for each other.

Another area where I could use a good partner is in the boardroom. The business has a unique niche and great potential, but trying to manage the technical aspects of the business and generate new sales too is beyond my capability. Maybe you have an answer to my plight. Maybe you know someone that is great with sales and looking for an opportunity to build a business. If the business generates more income I can break free of this unfortunate and inconvenient bind I find myself in. Maybe you can help?

I am a kind and generous man and not unattractive (as I said I am carrying a few extra pounds, but working on losing weight). I love the outdoors but I am equally at home at the theater. I'm a good man, I care for my children, I am honest, ethical, and I obey traffic regulations. I am looking for someone that has an open mind and understands that relationships are not bounded by walls but understanding. Someone that can accept the situation as it is, for as long as it is, and be happy for the time we can share. I am looking for an activity partner, a friend, a confidant, counselor, and lover. I am in no rush to force something, whatever is meant to be, will be.

If you think that you are a confident, caring, and considerate woman, ready for an open, caring, supportive, relationship with a few quirks, I'd love to hear from you.

Profile 2
Ethnicity Caucasian
Sign Leo
Height 6' 0" (183 cm)
Age 39
Gender Man
Hair Color Blond
Do you smoke? No
Body Type Average
Religion Non-Religious
Do you drink? Socially
Marital Status Dating
Profession Entrepreneur
Do you want children? Undecided/Open
Do you do drugs? No
Do you have children? Yes

I wrote this at 3:30 AM, which is normal for me, that should tell you something. I need someone that can calm me down, wear me out , or just willing to IM me until I fall asleep at the keyboard. I'm always interested in meeting new friends, then whatever happens, happens.

I must say that after a couple of months here, I think meeting women the old fashion way is a lot easier, not to mention that you actually get to meet (i.e. You see a woman across the mall that you want to meet. You walk up to her and say, "Hi, my name's Jonathan. I saw you across the mall and knew I would kick myself if I didn't come over and introduce myself. What's your name?" Pretty simple huh? So, why is this online thing so difficult?

Let me just say that my situation is emotionally complex, if you know me long enough you'll get all the details, in the mean time just chill. I'm not going to trust you with my feelings until I feel like I can trust you. Don't say you're interested if you are not willing to meet in public sometime soon. I do not have time for disingenuous people, drama, or immature stunts (such as saying you will be somewhere then generating a hundred excuses why you didn't show up). If you talk the talk, you beter walk the walk. If I say it, you can bank on it; I expect the same level of integrity from you.

I have hob-nobbed with celebs, been photographed by paparazzi, appeared on TV, been published, and personally written and produced live theater; yet I do not consider myself to be all that different, special, or any better than anyone else, or to have done anything particularly significant (I am the speck on the flea, on the fly, on the frog, on the bump, on the log, in the hole in the bottom of the cosmic sea).

I live a rather normal lifestyle (except for the bizarre sleep pattern). I could tell you about all my accomplishments and things I own, but you would not be any closer to understanding who I am. Those things do not define me. I am truly humbled by the experience of living, but I can't share this journey with everyone; you should be mutually humbled by the opportunity to share it with someone who will treasure the experience of traveling a while with you.

In some ways I am transcendent, in others I am a very base human being needing great enlightenment. I am, and have always been a spiritual being. I acknowledge my physical needs but I am not ruled by them. Nor do I worship money, even though I acknowledge its necessity and utility.

I have a bit of a wild side, I think it's the result of sleep deprivation, and I have done my share of S,D,and R&R. However, I am also a very responsible person. I live up to my word, manage my affairs, and actively pursue my goals. I am a business owner, entrepreneur, and always seeking new opportunities.

My interests are wide ranging and constantly changing. I am very engaged. I must warn you sometimes my honesty is a bit too intense for those who are unsure of themselves. I do try to be sensitive to what others are capable of dealing with.

I do not post photos on the internet because It's pointless (I could post or send photos of anyone), but if you want to see a pic I will be glad to email one to you (I probably attached one to the email when I contacted you). This also helps to weed out the scammers and spammers.

There are very few forces that drive our lives, the need for air, water, food, clothing, shelter, and sex are the primary movers and shakers. The propogation of DNA shapes a lot of what we do, and how we do it. Sex is one of the underlying reasons for everything we do; but it isn't the only one. I like it, desire it, and seek it, just like most normal people do. However, sex does not rule my life or my interactions with others. If you 'get' that, and don't get your feelings hurt just because I don't grope you online, we'll probably get along just fine.

There is way more I could tell you, but this should be enough for the moment. Contact me and I'll tell you more.

What about you? Who are you?



Which profile did you like better?

rm_B0SSIERBOY 57M
476 posts
1/1/2006 9:57 pm

Happy New Year to you too Huny!


tillerbabe 56F

1/3/2006 1:38 am

Well here's the rub...."Honesty' hits at many levels - it doens't necessarily mean that you give everything up all at once..it isn't appropriate to do that and it makes people feel uncomfortable. And, If you give up too much info, what is there to learn?
Both profiles were to long for me...I wouldn't take the time to read them. Also, you can be honest without being overly negative, by highlighting positives.
But, even if you received more responses on the one that was more creative and "dis-honest"..what do you do when she finds out you're not 39? And that it contained lies. So, someone makes contact, finds out you lied and you are right back to where you started. That sucs. Honesty doesn't waste as much time. Just my two cents.


rm_B0SSIERBOY 57M
476 posts
1/4/2006 9:47 pm

Well this is one of those issues I have struggled with for the past ten years. I totally agree that too much honesty puts women off, I don't think any of us are willing to accept someone "warts and all" before we get to know them a little better. On the other hand if you don't disclose the warts she will eventually notice them anyway and lose interest. This is why I advocate sex on the first date, if it's great maybe she'll overlook the warts, if it sucks the warts won't matter anyway.


rm_B0SSIERBOY 57M
476 posts
1/5/2006 9:55 pm

Polly I love it when you purr. You capture the esssence of my thoughts so eloquently. So sayeth the fat man within.


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