And Why Won't You Fuck Me?  

360 posts
9/20/2005 11:54 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

And Why Won't You Fuck Me?

I've noticed that there are a lot of women on dating sites that ask why men are so dishonest about their marital status and other things. "Why can't I find an honest man?" sort of posts. They say they want honesty, but when a man admits to being married and 1)either sneaking around on his wife or 2)swinging with the permission of his wife or 3)swinging with his wife, the offers seem to dry up (at least that's what I've read in other men's posts (and to some extent experienced myself).

I've also read in some blogs here that the balance on dating sites is weighted toward the female, since she is able to pick and choose who she will interact with. It seems that the primary focus has shifted from finding a mate and provider to finding a playmate.

So, my question is, if it's honesty your looking for and sex is the main reason you're on a site like this, why do you generally rule out married men? or do you?

rm_bella_ 47F
4030 posts
9/20/2005 12:26 pm

I do and only because I am looking for something a little more meaningful than a one night stand...a married man cannot give me this. I would feel guilty for being the 3rd has really even nothing to do with the man in this sense.

476 posts
9/20/2005 1:52 pm

SensuallyKatey - your wet spot is making me wet.

Bella - I left a response in your blog [post 97070].

476 posts
9/20/2005 1:54 pm

humboldthonni - that is an assumption I believe - I am available to whomever, whenever I choose.

redmustang91 57M  
8656 posts
9/20/2005 4:00 pm

In my opinion it is more a vestigial ethics thing of not poaching on another's property, sort of the women's union to do not others so they won't be done unto. Karmic fear of retribution by her man having an affair. It may also simply be that with so many men offering why bother with a married one when so many singles are available.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
9/20/2005 11:41 pm

I just want to know about prison time, DUI's and drug charges after this last one.

476 posts
9/21/2005 6:21 am

redmustang91 - well I would agree with you except I just read a post by someone that posted a negative response here talking about having sex with a girlfriend when her husband was out of town. Is lesbian sex any less a karmic threat?

As far as the idea that there are so many single guys on sites like this, I have to wonder how many are really single or just figured out that they can hook up more often if they say they are single. I guess this is where my sense of karmic payback is rooted, I won't pretend to be something I'm not just because that is when it is most likely to come back and bite you in the ass (instant karma).

saintlianna - so you confess? You would hook up with a married guy or a single guy, if the feeling were right.

476 posts
9/28/2005 9:00 am

Well no woman wants to hurt another woman just to sleep with someone, there ARE lots of men that are single. However, if you meet someone, you have a great friendship, and you happen to both be attracted to each other, it has been my experience that 1) the ethics and morality of both parties goes out the window the first time they get aroused ( a stiff dick and a wet pussy have no conscience) 2) one or the other will make up some out of the blue reason they aren't getting along with their spouse in order to justify cheating.

IMHO - it would be healthier if both people just admitted that they are attracted to each other and do whatever it is they are going to do and move on with their life (assuming the man is honest with his spouse about fooling around with someone). There seems to be a huge assumption on the part of women that other women either don't know their hubby is messing around, or that it "hurts" her that he is. Isn't it just possible that two people can have an open relationship?

I've tried this with some of the women I've been interested in, brought them into my home, introduced them to my wife, let her know when I was going out with the other women, or if I would be spending the night at someone else's house. My wife handles it just fine, my girlfriends never seem to handle it fine. It is an absolute deal killer. We could be having the most fantastic sex ever, and the moment they meet my wife, it's all over. What's up with that?

I recently asked my wife if she would like to come to an adult party with me and a date. She said she wasn't sure she was ready to have me watch her with another man, even though I assured her that I thought it would be sexy. She urged me to go with my friend and tell her how it all went.

We started our relationship with the understanding that fidelity was not a prerequsite. I'm sure there are many other people that have the same understanding. So if it's all out in the open why are women so adverse to being "involved" with a married man? Is it because secretly all women look at men as potential life partners even if they say they aren't looking?

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